How much of women’s preference for “social skills” is just the same as what's required by the labor market?

NalkaNalka · 2018-12-16T14:41:13+00:00

Social skills have always been important for advancement in life. If anything with the advent of the digital economy its become easier for people lacking in social skills to succeed since in a lot of business areas now no longer need to interact face to face.

JustForPPD · 2018-12-16T15:29:30+00:00

I think that it's deeper than that. Group cohesion is important for survival and having poor social skills lead to interactions that show that you don't understand this and/or threat the cohesion of the group. Social blunders can also display lack of understanding of social hierarchies and dynamics. These social blunders usually tend to receive very swift punishment from the parties involved and our amygdala actually learns from those social blunders (that's why sometimes you get this random flashbacks to cringy situations).

A distant example, but wolves kill the puppies that howl at inappropriate times (as it reveals their position, scares away prey, etc.). I see making inappropriate comments to be on a similar veil.

So, social skills are something that signal certain traits that are important at a group-level. Failing at it will have negative consequences, which include ostracism.

Scatre · 2018-12-16T14:38:10+00:00

Probably lots of overlap with labor markets, as wealth is very atttractive to women. However, to imply that men with "service" jobs are dominant, attractive, or top of the markets is silly. Social skills don't equal service jobs and traits that are attractive to women don't necessarily reflect what makes someone successful in a service job.

Electra_Cute · 2018-12-16T14:38:02+00:00

How much of the supposedly “irrational” “hypergamous” “evolutionary-psychology” female preference for "dominant" men is just a rational preference for socially skilled men who can compete in the modern labor market?

Desires are typically rational(meaning that people have good reasons for what they desire). Typically when other people call another persons desire "irrational" what they mean to say is they dislike the desire and how the word "rational" is associated with "masculine" and "men" is another reason why people call women irrational.

People are going to do what they think is best for them. If a woman wanted a family and to take care of children, it makes sense for them to want to find a man that can help them achieve that lifestyle, and that is typically going to be a man who has resources(not just money). That seems fairly rational to me.

[deleted] · 2018-12-16T15:21:04+00:00

I would have said none like 5 years ago, but the difference between me and a low level drone who doesn't sniff any kind of management position (besides knowing english and being able to read emails) is bantz and recognizing when people are bullshitting

killallthenarcs · 2018-12-16T16:28:19+00:00

Fucking and partnering up pre-dates the labour market.

the_calibre_cat · 2018-12-16T18:14:53+00:00

It's quite a bit higher. Awkward nerds get jobs. Awkward nerds do not get girlfriends.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-12-16T15:43:56+00:00

The same thing which makes people buy things is the same thing which gets men laid-

Sales skills, the art of eliciting positive emotions in others consistently.

reluctantly_red · 2018-12-16T15:16:49+00:00

The service sector includes a lot of jobs that require very specific skills. Being social is a nice extra but by itself is not going to get a person far in these jobs.

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WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2018-12-16T16:35:56+00:00

Not at all. I do just fine in the labor market.

DemonConsulting · 2018-12-16T16:39:09+00:00

I agree that social skills are also essential in the job market (and really most other areas of life) but I disagree that service jobs are desirable, that social skills were not needed before, or that this is a conscious preference based on money instead of instinct.

The specific type of social skills that are attractive to women are pretty much what modern employers would call leadership skills, specifically that's what they cite when they promote the professionally mediocre but very charming guy to a management position over some knowledgeble but quiet “nerd type“.

Being socially dominant gets you ahead in life because people instinctively respect and defer to this bevavior. It is subconscious - you will automatically be perceived as more competent regardless of what field you're in.

cxj · 2018-12-16T23:09:57+00:00

I have complex and mixed thoughts about the "service sector" and the types of social skills involved, but tbh I think "customer service" and in general a hyper sensitive, easily offended society is actually inhibiting social skills to an extent via diminishing people's ability to resolve conflicts or express discontent, so much as going to great lengths to simply avoid confrontations altogether due to the increasing risks associated with them.

Unconfidence · 2018-12-16T23:49:16+00:00

I think you're applying causation where there's correlation. Our social norms and our employment norms are sort of egg and chicken, so to speak. That women seek personality traits favored by the labor market is simply because those traits are socially desirable in general.

Furthermore, there's an increasing reversal of this trend, wherein people in general romanticize those without the social skills desired by the employment world. The presence of people like myself who generally reject the employment world and its demands changes the equation a bit, and leaves room for the less desirable employee to still be the more desirable partner. As gender equality progresses this will become more prominent, and more men and women will drop out of the workforce. In other words, the current congruence between employment and dating desirability is temporary and will change with time.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2018-12-17T17:12:22+00:00

Not even close....

The actions that are most advantageous in attracting women would get you fired from a majority of companies unless you are supremely talented and important to the operation.

hammerhaunts · 2018-12-16T15:37:34+00:00

Women know this, and it would be totally reasonable for them to prefer men who have these skills. How much of the supposedly “irrational” “hypergamous” “evolutionary-psychology” female preference for "dominant" men is just a rational preference for socially skilled men who can compete in the modern labor market?

It becomes irrational when applied to men who aren't succeeding in the labor market with those traits.

PanderjitSingh_k · 2018-12-16T18:54:49+00:00

Can’t agree that jobs "require" feminized social skills. When women are given power to say what matters they lie and pretend it’s things women like to do.

Look at how effective software has been replacing human contact work. Those jobs evidently do not need gooey ‘soft skills’.

Females want to be paid as if they are productive workers and still chat half their workday.

storffish · 2018-12-16T15:09:56+00:00

there's definitely overlap, but in 2018 you can get away with shit tier social skills if you're smart or skilled in other ways. computers, for example. and it just so happens that personality types that tend toward awkwardness and introversion also tend toward an interest in science and math and "systems" more broadly. an awkward ASD guy who's a whiz at computers will probably never be a director or even middle manager but he can do really well for himself financially without ever having to go out of his way to become more extroverted. and if reddit is any indicator (and yes i know it's skewed) smart, awkward STEM guys are hardly a tiny niche population.

the guys who make it to the C-suite are smart, hard-working, and have charisma. but guys with all those traits in spades are pretty vanishingly rare. a guy who has a lot of charisma but not much of the other two will probably end up, to OP's point, somewhere in the service sector. not exactly a prestige job. but I think most women would generally prefer to sleep with the broke waiter who's fun to be around than the awkward, well-compensated programmer.

[deleted] · 2018-12-16T18:27:05+00:00

Social skills is BS. Look good, smile, be able to make small talk. In that order.

If you also have a bit of cunning you're set.

As a conventionally unattractive person you're fucked.

Our brains are wired to see ugly people as sad, distrusting and not trustworthy at the same time.

You'll have to play the long tail game of alliances and have great non-people skills (to build yourself favor debts).

When the time comes you'll have to call in those favor debts to boost you.

Title	How much of women’s preference for “social skills” is just the same as what's required by the labor market?
Author	AlanHalworth
Upvotes	17
Comments	32
Date	December 16, 2018 2:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a6pe5s/how_much_of_womens_preference_for_social_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-of-womens-preference-for-social-skills-is.258518 https://theredarchive.com/post/258518

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