What are your opinions on a boring man/woman in terms of how that would affect them being a romantic partner? How do they compare?

buartha · 2017-09-05T21:04:20+00:00

I think that men are generally expected to find boring partners more acceptable provided that they're physically attractive, and that this generally leads to fewer men prioritizing 'interesting' as one of their qualifying traits for women, and can make it easier for 'boring' women to get into relationships with 'interesting' men than vice versa.

However, in observing my friends' relationships (most of whom are straight men,) it seems like after the boner goggles fade the less 'basic' men who do try to settle down with boring women start to experience increasing frustration with their SO's lack of intellectual engagement. This can take anything from 6 months to a couple of years, and when the dissatisfaction strikes it can actually be quite upsetting if they're in an LTR with the girl; if someone hasn't done anything 'wrong' then you can feel like a prick for breaking up with them, which leads to a lot of unfulfilling relationships chugging on far too long.

At the end of the day though, most people are boring, so all you basic bros and bitches out there shouldn't worry too much, you just need to find someone a notch down the scale from you and you can blow their mind (or just find someone similarly disadvantaged, embrace the beige together and settle down in front of reality TV show repeats for the rest of your lives.)

GinSmokeLies · 2017-09-05T21:45:26+00:00

Depends on what is meant by boring.

"Boring" as in a homebody, someone who doesn't need a lot of excitement and adventure and variety to be content? That's a plus in my book.

"Boring" as in he never wants to do anything but sit around at home playing video games and the like? Bad, wouldn't want to date him.

"Boring" as in doesn't share a lot of my interests? Not that big of a deal, would still consider dating him.

"Boring" as in he's a self-important blowhard who likes to blather on and on about shit I don't care about and expects me to quietly listen in awe of his superior intellect? I would kill myself before dating such a person.

TheChemist158 · 2017-09-05T20:49:02+00:00

If we are defining 'boring' as lack of shared interests, it's pretty bad. I kinda like to enjoy spending time with my significant other.

storffish · 2017-09-05T21:30:02+00:00

boring is in the eye of the beholder. I've gone out with basic bitches who practically put me to sleep who went on to make my buds fall in love with them. obviously they weren't boring to each other. generally I think settling for someone who actively bores you is a time bomb... even if she's putting out on the regular and treating you good those bad bitches and crazy chicks are gonna get more and more appealing.

Love8Death · 2017-09-05T20:52:01+00:00

If she's boring, you fuck her, but don't hang out with her much.

AdamtheFirstSinner · 2017-09-05T21:53:18+00:00

A lot of women are boring, a lot of them can and do easily just cruise by on looks. I've met more boring ones than interesting ones, even just platonically.

stats135 · 2017-09-05T22:06:43+00:00

I would almost prefer a "boring" women. I find it almost synonymous with "low maintenance". Its a lot easier to maintain a women that just likes to read all day than one that wants to travel the world and do new and exciting (read: expensive and time consuming) things everyday.

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-09-05T20:47:37+00:00

Why in the world would anyone want a boring partner?

Especially if you're vetting for a LTR or marriage, you don't want to hitch a significant portion of your life to someone who bores you. And really, if you find them boring, they probably find you boring as well.

I can't think of a bigger recipe for disaster.

[deleted] · 2017-09-06T07:01:03+00:00

Boring is subjective, I'm sure a lot of people think I'm boring because all I do is bosh loads of drugs all the time, meanwhile a lot of other people think that actually makes me interesting because they're unfamiliar with drug use and I'm introducing them to something new.

That seems to be the crux of what determines boring or interesting: novelty.

The thing is, novelty cannot last forever. No one is going to spend their entire lives finding new shit their partners have never seen before and wowing them with it.

I think this expectation that LTRs are meant to make your life super exciting is an unrealistic one brought about by Hollywood and it doesn't do anyone any favours.

If you're with someone for decades, you will settle into a routine and any sense of novelty you once had will disappear. This is okay, this is a natural progression, it's not a sign of failure.

Now if someone doesn't interest you at all even during the honeymoon phase then by all means break it off, it likely will get worse from there. Just don't expect the excitement of the honeymoon phase to extrapolate across an LTR because you'll be very disappointed.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-09-06T11:02:12+00:00

A boring guy is a guy who isn't Chad and doesn't act like a circus monkey for her golden vagina

A boring woman is any woman, because AWALT, all women are literally exactly the same

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Electra_Cute · 2017-09-05T20:48:01+00:00

People have external value(as this is the case with almost everything), so it would depend on what their partners constitute as "boring" or if they even value excitement in a partner.

Temperfuelmma · 2017-09-05T21:15:31+00:00

If a woman's boring I will not spend time with her and instead hang out with my buds. The only time we will actually hang out will be when we're making out or whatever. So she'll eventually feel used but won't be direct with it. She'll try to make me jealous, be passive aggressive and whatever which will make me frustrated. So I'll try to comfort her and 'level down' but when she sees that I'm lowering down she'll feel somewhat superior and reject me in her mind as a sort of self defense mechanism but won't tell me. This makes me angry because I was lowering down and swallowing up my pride for her but instead of seeing what I'm doing for her she's buffing herself up as some damn goddess. She's angry too because she doesn't like my sympathy. Anyway, in the end the frustration and anger build up inside me so much so that I randomly blow up in her face at some point and breaks everything up leaving her in tears. This will make me feel guilty for months to come but I'll eventually move on but still feel somewhat responsible for her somewhere in the back of my mind.

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-09-05T21:26:05+00:00

I couldn't do it. I could probably have a ONS with a boring guy, but I couldn't date him, I'd go crazy. I need to be with someone who likes things I like and likes to talk about them, and also has his own shit going on so that we're not completely up each other's asses all the time.

[deleted] · 2017-09-05T21:27:34+00:00

I have my own solo hobbies and don't really wanna share. So I would prefer a boring girl who is cool with just sitting around and doing nothing after I get home

[deleted] · 2017-09-06T02:06:39+00:00

I think it's highly attractive in a romantic partner. I can't handle any spontaneous or extroverted types. I need someone that adores the routine--finds contentment in the mundane and simple lifestyle. Like, yes, please sit around the house and play video games or watch Netflix with me. It's even easier if he also has separate interests that gives me the leisure of having plenty of time in doing things on my own. I've only ever wanted someone that could enjoy a quiet morning. Thankfully my boyfriend is adoringly that.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-06T03:29:36+00:00

I can't really classify anyone as "boring," because I understand that everyone has different likes and dislikes, and follows a different pace. I don't expect someone to like the same things as I do, nor keep the same pace as me, but it's preferred that they do. I don't want to be hindered, nor do I want to feel like I'm hindering someone, so, in the event that myself and someone else make the conscious decision to accompany each other in our lives, I would make the effort to "pick up the pace," so to speak, if I needed to, and I would appreciate even a little effort on their part if they did the same.

It wouldn't affect them being a romantic partner, so long as I could tell that they want to be with me, and actively show me by trying. I would assure them, of course, by reciprocating.

In my opinion, relationships work out the best when both people are trying to catch each other. If only one is making any effort, I don't see it lasting for very long.

[deleted] · 2017-09-06T08:03:30+00:00

It literally does not go beyond "Is she hot y/n".

Trying to build a romantic relationship on anything but sexual attraction is futile. This goes for both men and women, though men have an infinitely easier time with it.

goatismycopilot · 2017-09-06T13:30:15+00:00

We define boring so many different ways. To me a boring guy is somebody who does not share my interests and just wants to sit around and watch tv and doesn't want to go out and do the things I find enjoyable. That same guy might be perfect for somebody else.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2017-09-07T08:33:55+00:00

Boringness would completely kill any interest I have in a relationship. There would simply be insufficient Return On Investment to spend all the time and money necessary to have a relationship with someone I find boring. I'm very introverted so I prefer my own company anyway and have high standards of whom I want to spend time with, so boring is a complete deal breaker.

A relationship with x = spending time with x, and I don't want to spend time with boring people.

[deleted] · 2017-09-08T07:14:24+00:00

My idea of boring is the mainstream idea of interesting and exciting (parties, socializing, beach, vacations etc). I wouldn't have a problem nailing someone like that, but I think I'd start to hate them if they were the type to want to drag me everywhere or have me talk to everyone, and I don't think I'd trust that kind of person to not cheat on me eventually.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-09-05T20:58:06+00:00

To me a boring guy is a guy who's not inventive. This is all personal preference, but a guy who goes out to dance parties (I'm not much of a dancer) or to places where people only talk rather than doing things, or guys who try to bring me to oversocial places is boring. I like guys who will go out to places where you do things, like doing puzzles or video games, or run around and play laser tag. Or even something simple as ping pong. I prefer him to be somewhat competitive in games (I don't need him to let me win) but also not overcompetitive in the way that makes him an asshole to people or self-absorbed. In other words, he doesn't need to go easy on me when we're playing chess (not fun to play against someone who holds back), but I don't want him to be the type of guy who thinks that being good at chess is proving his manhood.

He should be both a talker and a listener, but I prefer a bit more on the listener side. Most of all I hope we have something that we have in common, like fanfic or gaming.

Being boring is a deal breaker to me.

rainisthelife · 2017-09-05T23:17:27+00:00

I think it's usually more important for the guy to not be boring. I think women generally get a pass on this, and can attract a lot of guys without necessarily being interesting. I've dumped some guys for being boring, or if after a few months, I just got bored with them. If he's not ready to do things with me and be interesting with me (at least sometimes), then he's either not ready to put effort into the relationship or he's just a waste of time.

What are your opinions on a boring man/woman in terms of how that would affect them being a romantic partner? How do they compare?

Comments

1 would look boring to a lot of people, but it's the kind of lifestyle I prefer so it wouldn't be boring to me.

Title	What are your opinions on a boring man/woman in terms of how that would affect them being a romantic partner? How do they compare?
Author	notworthmuch20xx
Upvotes	2
Comments	67
Date	September 5, 2017 8:45 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6yautt/what_are_your_opinions_on_a_boring_manwoman_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-your-opinions-on-a-boring-manwoman-in.266180 https://theredarchive.com/post/266180