If you have great chemistry online does that mean you'll have great chemistry in real life?

exit_sandman · 2017-02-06T16:55:50+00:00

chemistry can't be determined without physical interaction

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-02-06T16:53:53+00:00

absolutely not. you can have great personality compatibility with a physically repulsive person

Candy_Kittens · 2017-02-06T17:06:14+00:00

No. I'm not sure I believe you can have "chemistry" online at all. You can get along well, have things in common etc. But as the word suggests, "chemistry" is something chemical and intangible. It has a lot to do with physical attraction, but there are nonphysical components too. I don't think it can be determined without actually being in the person's presence. And you can get along great with a person you talk to online but then meet in person and not have that "spark."

goatismycopilot · 2017-02-06T17:02:33+00:00

No. Online chemistry or texting chemistry can create a ton of illusions where one of both people more or less manufacture an image or a persona. I never understand why people claim to have fallen in love with somebody online, relationships can only grow IRL everything else is a fantasy projection.

The witty person with just the right thing to say can be a total dud face to face. The masculine confident interesting person can turn out to be completely neurotic in person. When I was dating online I tried to do minimal texting before I met somebody to avoid that.

Real connection can at least for me only occur in the flesh. Everything else is noise.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2017-02-06T17:42:06+00:00

I am aware of only one online relationship which worked well after they met in person. It was a group of 3 transwomen, who lived in Arizona, Philadelphia, and Vancouver, who all moved to Vancouver to have a polyamorous relationship, and they are all married to each other now.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-02-06T17:56:46+00:00

Online chemistry doesn't exist. Chemistry implies some sort of connection that people have that is unable to get online.

Chemistry doesn't = get along well. 2 people can hate each other and have great chemistry. 2 people can get along really well and have no chemistry. Chemistry is about the energy between 2 people, and that energy doesn't exist over the internet. It's about the energy between the behavior style of 2 people, and people type different than they speak or act in real life.

[deleted] · 2017-02-06T16:56:36+00:00

it's not a guarantee, no.

BPremium · 2017-02-06T16:58:43+00:00

nope. its no guarantee

quicklogaccount · 2017-02-06T17:22:37+00:00

Hardly. Online "chemistry" is based only on common interests and maybe some sympathy towards a certain style.

Even if the person isn't very different irl, those aspects aren't nearly enough for any sort of relationship.

Entropy-7 · 2017-02-06T17:48:34+00:00

It depends on how long/much you chat online and the number and honesty of the pictures you exchange. With women that, for whatever reason, I was chatting with for a week and we exchanged pictures beyond their online profile pictures, the chemistry was always good and I ended up dating them. Others, where you just use online to find someone and almost immediately go for the meet up, then it is hit or miss.

Edit: Online, I tend to connect with women in the next city over, sometimes farther. At the point where there is the trust and motivation to travel that far, with the assumption of staying the night, it's a pretty sure thing that sex will result. I've only had a few exceptions to that.

[deleted] · 2017-02-06T17:52:17+00:00

I've got to know quite a lot of people on fourms and shit over the years and then met up irl.

It is always awkward as fuck the first time you meet, nobody looks like their photo exactly, people don't sound how they do on microphone, people just act differnt in real life. Within a couple of hours everyone gets comfortable though once you get over the weird jarring experience of having your mental image of the person shattered

So no not really, if you really get to know someone and get on online you'll probably get on in real life.

[deleted] · 2017-02-06T23:32:41+00:00

I do know two people who had an online "affair", so to speak. They were really into each other, talked to each other for hours at a time. Then they met and realised that there is no physical attraction whatsoever, and became friends.

Admittedly, they both are rather unattractive (physically. Really great people otherwise). So maybe that's the reason.

Of course, that doesn't prove anything, but you see what I mean. Chemistry is more than just being able to get along.

BluePiller1776 · 2017-02-06T17:55:45+00:00

Texting allows you to take as long as you need to think up a response, in person interations make you think on your feet.

the4thwave · 2017-02-06T21:09:45+00:00

NO. I've been on lots of dates on Tinder and also SeekingArrangement and I've met so many aspie nerds who seemed to be pretty normal online.

[deleted] · 2017-02-06T23:08:11+00:00

Online chemistry exists. You are more free to "be yourself" online than not, which can lead to your sense of humour and observations about the world, and even flirting to be more "real.

However it doesn't automatically translate to real life, because just as it's easier to "be yourself" online, it's not easy to "be yourself" off of it, so you might meet the person in real life and go "where's the person I've been talking to?"

Justapasserby557 · 2017-02-06T23:16:41+00:00

No. Something interesting about interacting in person is that men and women still release pheromones even though they're unconscious of it. There was a study that postulated that kissing may have evolved so that women could smell their partners more closely and determine whether their genes would be helpful to their children.

wtknight · 2017-02-06T18:06:48+00:00

Every person I've dated I met online first. I think it's easy to think that online chemistry doesn't exist because there are so many cases of people getting along great online and then everything fizzles out once they meet in person. I can say that it's possible to develop online chemistry that extends into real life, but it usually involves a very long time interacting with that person, as well as using methods such as voice and camera chats. Chemistry from just words on a screen don't usually extend as well into a real life setting, but sometimes it can.

slothsenpai · 2017-02-06T19:03:39+00:00

No matter how much material I read on red-pill, I can never fully grasp the concept of "chemistry". On some dates, I've had girls that said I'm attractive (I lift and have a fit body), I'm smart, I'm funny yet somehow get rejected or ghosted due to "lack of chemistry". Yet, been on a date with a woman who literally asked me if I was autistic yet was still sexually all over me where we eventually banged. It's shit like this why I can't stand dating. It's too much of a hit and miss for me (mostly miss tbh). You can do everything right and they'll still reject you for whatever bullshit reason.

[deleted] · 2017-02-06T21:53:17+00:00

No, it doesn't. I've had plenty of great online flings that fizzled out when we met, and I've had tenuous correspondences last years once the online sphere was taken out of the equation.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-02-07T01:59:57+00:00

So if online chemistry doesn't exist why do so many women prattle on in their dating profiles about wanting to find a connection with someone before they meet up?

Candy_Kittens · 2017-02-07T02:18:46+00:00

I have only had a physical chemistry reaction with one person in my life. A woman that walks her dog through the park. Every time i pass her my heart starts beating faster and all the other physical chemistry stuff. Like I get so overwhelmed I can hardly speak.

shogunofsarcasm · 2017-02-07T02:53:35+00:00

You don't specify meeting the person online, so from my point of view you can. I met my partner in real life, but we are separated for usually 6-7 months out of the year. Because of this we have found we have great chemistry online. We have discussions that would never happen in real life because it is too hard to think up answers in the spot. We also have great chemistry in real life.

[deleted] · 2017-02-07T10:51:27+00:00

I wouldn't say it's a guarantee but I'm gonna go against the grain ITT and say there's definitely a high chance from my experience. I started a lot of relationships this way and none of them lasted less than six months so clearly the chemistry carried over even if it didn't pan out long-term.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-02-07T16:36:00+00:00

Nooooooooo

Source: experience.

Me2_0 · 2017-02-07T21:20:58+00:00

No bro. The internet has fucking weird effects on people. I met a girl online, talked all day for 2 days like 1000s of messages, and then when I met her in person, she was like a mute. Would not hold a conversation with me. Like I went to the wrong house or something.

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theiamsamurai · 2017-02-06T17:49:13+00:00

I don't think "chemistry" is real from most women's side, since they get turned off so easily, and she can only be attracted to the guy if she builds up a fantasy of him in her head. People build up those fantasies whether the interactions you have are online or offline. Just because there's less of them offline, doesn't mean there still aren't a lot of them.

Title	If you have great chemistry online does that mean you'll have great chemistry in real life?
Author	Candy_Kittens
Upvotes	5
Comments	46
Date	February 6, 2017 4:52 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5sfbsq/if_you_have_great_chemistry_online_does_that_mean/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-have-great-chemistry-online-does-that-mean.270227 https://theredarchive.com/post/270227

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