Blue Pill: What weight should we give to someone's past experiences vs. who they are now?

[deleted] · 2015-10-07T21:37:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2015-10-07T23:03:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

taiboworks · 2015-10-07T20:08:13+00:00

Is the best predictor of future behavior, past behavior?

for most yes, so if you were an insecure loser in the past, you will likely to continue to be an insecure loser.

wuboo · 2015-10-07T20:23:19+00:00

Depends on what they did and what they do now. This is a question that extends far beyond TRP and TBP.

people who engaged in sex parties a few years ago, but makes their bf wait for sex now, a hypocrite?

No. She would be if she cheats on him or starts telling everyone else to be abstinent.

Thrice divorced holier than thou Kim Davis though is a hypocrite to the core.

[deleted] · 2015-10-07T21:39:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2015-10-07T22:02:39+00:00

Is the best predictor of future behavior, past behavior?

Not necessarily. I don't think people's personalities really change, but people do get more mature. The wild person who attended crazy sex parties in the past is still going to put an emphasis on having a fun, exciting life in the future, but that could involve something more mature like rock climbing or scuba diving rather than a crazy sex party like when they were young. It really depends upon the person and there is no general rule when it comes to this.

TheChemist158 · 2015-10-07T19:49:35+00:00

I think past behavior is a good indicator to future. Not perfect, be open minded to the idea of people changing. But by default, that is a good indicator * for then to repeat the same behavior*. I've noticed that TRP sometimes has a hard time understating this, but the objection isn't using past behavior to predict future. It's using one behavior to predict another. A woman might engage in a lot of casual sex while she is single. If she goes home with a guy every month or so, and doesn't seem to have any kind of desire to change, it's a fair bet she'll go home with a new guy this month. I doubt that many blues would object to that. However, reds like to see casual sex as an indicator of infidelity. This is questionable. But the objection isn't using past behavior, it's using a different behavior.

Show a blue a person who cheats in most of their LTRs and ask if they'll likely cheat again. In sure you'll find a lot of people will say yes.

Edit: Also, in your hypothetical, she would not be a hypocrite. She might be something else, but that isn't what hypocrisy means.

buartha · 2015-10-07T20:57:13+00:00

People can get bored of the life they're leading and want a change. My partner had a pretty wild youth and was looking to settle down when we met, and things have been great for the last 5 and a half years despite his past.

I would say it's fair to be wary of someone who's not sleeping with you within a reasonable time frame though (what that time frame is is culturally dependent really.) If the delay is rooted in anxiety that you'll leave when you're done then that can be worked through, but if it's low libido, lack of attraction or a power play attempt you might be best moving on.

BaconEggsAndSleaze · 2015-10-07T19:38:53+00:00

No , I don't think it's necessarily hypocritical . Maybe they have changed their views now and want to get to know the other person before they have sex with him.

louplop · 2015-10-07T20:05:15+00:00

I think everything is a matter of communication. Is there a reason for her to wait ? I would find her hypocrite if she says : "If this guy can't wait, it's because he just want to fuck me... He is just a pig" (because of her past when she was in an environment where it was sex for the pleasure of it without commitment). How many times "wait" means?

As a guy, if I don't want to sleep with a girl I have a date/start a relationship, it's a really really bad sign and I don't think it will ever happen. Physical attraction is really important and I want my partner to be attracted to me. I see if it's the case when we are in bed together and see her reactions when I take care of her. I don't understand how a girl can provide this in another way nor why wait couple dates could make her avoid a players (if it's the reason why she waits).

We need to be 2 to build a relationship, she would be a real hypocryte if she asked me to follow her wishes without understanding my needs.

[deleted] · 2015-10-07T23:40:25+00:00

I think there are certain experiences, like cheating. Once a cheater always a cheater. If they weren't cheating, then I don't see the problem.

[deleted] · 2015-10-08T01:30:59+00:00

I think the most important thing of all is why they did what they did and whether or not these things are still troubling them/still an issue in their life now. People will change their behaviour and they often do. In today's individualistic society where people often lack the best role models and the right guidance and direction past behaviour isn't something that should always be heavily judged. People these days often have to learn on their own when in times past their parents and elders held the right example. When a person has to learn on their own without the correct guidance many are bound to make mistakes or engage in destructive behaviours along the way. I am not blue pill but this is my personal opinion.

Maybe this girl that has 'engaged in sex parties a few years ago' isn't proud of herself. Maybe she did so as a result of peer pressure, or because her needs at the time were different. Maybe now she is ready to settle down and wants to put this man to the test as to whether or not he is around just for sex or for long term commitment and she doesn't want to have casual relationships any more. It all seems pretty logical to me and should be obvious in 2015 when people constantly behave in ways that they didn't years ago. Sex parties these days are seen as socially acceptable because of pornography and our current mainstream culture.

Title	Blue Pill: What weight should we give to someone's past experiences vs. who they are now?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	61
Date	October 7, 2015 7:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3nvlvh/blue_pill_what_weight_should_we_give_to_someones/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/blue-pill-what-weight-should-we-give-to-someones.279206 https://theredarchive.com/post/279206

Comments