“Why don’t we meet up at the museum and get dinner after?” Doesn’t sound too terrible does it? I like learning, I eating, this could be a good date? Well not for a first date, this is a relationship level date. Any time a man wants to go multiple locations for a first date, this is a red flag. Why?

1) Pick up artists teach it as a strategy to create false familiarity. More locations makes it seem like multiple dates in one, so you feel more comfortable with them in less time, and are more likely to sleep with them. Even if you know you won’t fall for it, the fact they were using a PUA tactic is not a good sign.

2) It’s just not safe to get in the car of a man you don’t know, and the format of going from one place to another to another lends itself to taking one car. It feels really uncomfortable to have to explain to someone why you don’t feel safe getting in their car, so better not to put yourself in that situation. Meet somewhere, go home separately, it’s much safer.

3) It lends itself to “well I paid for tickets, so you get dinner” guilt trips. I don’t have to explain why this is to be avoided. If a man isn’t willing to take you out for a meal on the first date and expect nothing in return, he’s not worth it.

4) Most of the time, a LVM is going to suggest a bunch of cheap/free activities, so most of the date is inexpensive filler time, rather than sitting down and eating a meal he paid for. This means he has more time with you for less money, and makes you a “cheaper” option to date than a woman who says no to “walking around in the park” dates. You deserve barter.

Now I specified first date, but these same things apply for later dates, to some extent. If you’ve been dating someone for a few months and you’re pretty sure he’s not going to kidnap you, riding in his car from a museum to a restaurant is fine. If both you and the person you’re in a relationship with like an activity (like surfing or hiking or whatever) and they suggest getting brunch and hitting the waves(or trails or whatever), that could be a really fun time. But watch out for cheap filler dates in early days of dating, and never, ever put yourself in danger by letting a man you don’t know take you to a second/third/forth location.