PPD Women: At what point in an interaction with a man do you realize it's not 100% platonic?

MrsPound111 · 2015-07-27T17:19:27+00:00

I have Aspergers so I'm clueless. I usually just assume hes being friendly.

GridReXX · 2015-07-27T16:16:17+00:00

I assume they're all interested until proven otherwise.

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T17:37:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

goatismycopilot · 2015-07-27T13:51:07+00:00

In general, I don't think unfamilar men approach unfamilar women in public spaces for the purpose of platonic interaction. I could be wrong of course, I have had plenty of public exchanges in line at the grocery store or at the gym that seemed pretty innocuous. So when it comes to stranger approaches, I doubt there are just "friendly" vibes. Everything else is context.

wombatinaburrow · 2015-07-27T07:52:58+00:00

In a ltr, so people can be as flirty as they like, but they might as well be trying it on with a cauliflower. Guys who won't take the hint and leave me alone are really annoying. I wear a wedding ring and say (politely ) that I'm married, but they keep pushing until I get terse or even rude and cranky.

LeaneGenova · 2015-07-27T05:36:14+00:00

I'm not gonna lie, I'm utterly inept at figuring this out. I've been asked out on dates, accepted, and only later figured out that I was being asked out. Then I end up having to awkwardly explain that the boyfriend I was referring to was actually my boyfriend, and I'm just an idiot.

I blame being in a LTR for this. My idea of flirting at this point is chasing my SO and pantsing him. This is also why I don't talk about what will attract women in the short term.

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T15:53:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

yasee · 2015-07-27T14:03:59+00:00

For me a lot is down to context. If I'm at a bar or especially a club, I assume any man who talks to me is interested

This pretty much never happens though

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T15:20:07+00:00

Most dudes only approach because they're interested in me sexually. So now I just assume that's every man's mission, and it's a pleasant surprise when someone treats me like a person instead of a possible sexual conquest.

Any kind of random compliment is an obvious indicator, or if the conversation is directed toward my appearance. Physical proximity or unwarranted touch are obvious signs. Using pet names like "sweetie" or "honey" is also a red flag. I've noticed that men with genuine intentions seem to maintain eye contact more instead of letting their gaze roam over my body.

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T15:37:31+00:00

If they ask me for a date or whether or not I am married.

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T16:25:29+00:00

If I'm approached at a bar or something like that, I assume he's interested. If I'm "cold approached" during the day (doesn't happen often) I'll assume he's interested, and also be very annoyed. Otherwise it's usually pretty hard for me to tell. I've been told about guys I knew in college who liked me. We hung out several times a week and I honestly had no idea.

gregariousnefarious · 2015-07-27T16:47:00+00:00

Outside of venues where it's standard operating procedure, iois really vary depending on the dude. Touch or compliments are obvious. Asking if I'm single is obvious. However, most in the wild approaches are a little tough to discern, and I assume a dude is just being friendly if he initiates conversation. If he then asks for a date, my number, or some other thing (email address, Facebook), then I usually check the "into me" box. But you're all mostly considered to have innocent intentions until you do something blatant, even if you're being a bit flirty. Some guys are just natural flirts, even if they don't want anything, and I figure I won't assume unless you've complimented me, asked for a way of contacting me, or some other behavior that indicates actual interest in doing something like having a date.

BaadKitteh · 2015-07-27T17:33:20+00:00

Obvious clues: offering to do things for me, asking if I'm single, asking what I do for fun, complimenting specific details about my appearance (as opposed to "Hey, you look nice today!" or something)

Less obvious clues: hovering in my vicinity, looking for excuses to talk about inane things/random texts, liking my social media posts that are inside jokes with other people he can't possibly get, suggestive jokes- especially the "I'm only kidding, flirting with you just now... unless you like it!" type, making an effort to show interest in things I like

That's all I can think of right now; guys who are trying to be just friends only don't spend as much time looking for excuses to talk to me or spend time with me. They might invite me to join them in doing something, but not try to join me in whatever I'm doing.

max_peenor · 2015-07-27T08:08:37+00:00

When he specifically tells me he is not going for something platonic. I'm sorry I can't read minds or people.

Villaintine · 2015-07-27T09:54:46+00:00

I think someone is just being idly friendly, unless he says something out right. I don't really do subtle though. My idea of flirting is to say something like "You I like, shall we go on a date and see what happens?"

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T05:28:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2015-07-27T13:51:55+00:00

For the most part I am blind to it. However what really makes me aware is any type of touching. I think you guys call it kino?

Title	PPD Women: At what point in an interaction with a man do you realize it's not 100% platonic?
Author	gavinok
Upvotes	12
Comments	88
Date	July 27, 2015 5:04 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3eqlhe/ppd_women_at_what_point_in_an_interaction_with_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ppd-women-at-what-point-in-an-interaction-with-a.280732 https://theredarchive.com/post/280732

Comments