What does it mean that women should be led by men ?

bones_and_love · 2015-07-23T08:10:19+00:00

There are two types of people roughly, leaders and followers. Many men in fact fall into the followers group themselves. A leader-type is comfortable riding solo to an event for example and just meets new people there. How many men or women do you know who would do that? Most people want at least one friend to come along or they'd just cancel the entire plan.

It's some small number of people who are actually desirable leaders, maybe 10% I'd say from the hip.

As for the component that sex plays: It just so happens that most (but not all) of that 10% are men. It's why women often times when asked what they want say they want a confident man who can get shit done. Men might answer that they tend to want caring/loving/jealous/emotional/dependent types, which are the antithesis of leadership.

The approximations above work most of the time, but it goes without saying that "leadership" falls on a spectrum and has multiple dimensions to it. So you aren't either a leader or not, you might be somewhat a leader or somewhat not a leader. And there isn't just one property called leader. You could be good at this one part and bad at another. But we tie up the general feel of the person and tend to think of them as leaders or followers.

purple_lock · 2015-07-23T13:08:08+00:00

First of all, I think TRP is talking about "within a romantic relationship," not "in all aspects of life."

Personally, I think it has less to do with "why women should be led" and more to do with with the fact that most men don't like not being the lead.

It's not that women need a man to look after them at all times, obviously. It's that female-led relationships are rarely enjoyable and satisfying for the man.

TRP is, after all, a male sexual strategy, so I've always interpreted this statement as having more to do with what's going to make the guy happy, than the idea that women can't function at all without a male lead.

TheChemist158 · 2015-07-23T08:41:26+00:00

Sometimes it means women should have collars put on them and be lead around on a leash .

nomdplume · 2015-07-23T15:13:25+00:00

To answer the question on specifics - you are making what I consider to be one of the most common mistakes regarding "leadership", which is assuming that leadership is about what you do and not about who you are being.

There is no "lead here but not there" in leadership, because leadership is a qualitative trait, not a quantitative one.

If you've spent a lot of time in the corporate world (as I have), you will often come across people who have most likely just completed some kind of "business leadership" training. The way I know that is that they are desperately trying to "do" leadership (acting like a leader, using what appears to be unnatural "leadership" language, doing all the things they were told a leader "should" do, following some preexisting script, etc.) without actually being a leader. It comes off as forced and artificial, and the performance usually lands somewhere between "pitiable" and "nauseating/aggravating." They have some specifics, but no bigger context.

So there are no "aspects of life" - you are either being a leader, or you are not. People who are leaders don't just stop being leaders at arbitrary points (and why would they? Being a leader is an awe-inspiring quality - everyone loves someone who is being a leader). A leader is who they are.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2015-07-23T15:41:18+00:00

"should"? nope

GridReXX · 2015-07-23T17:51:06+00:00

I think in general women are perfectly capable of leading their own lives and the lives of others.

In fact women are many times most capable.

However...

When it comes to sexual attraction, women aren't attracted to men who they have to lead. It signals to her incompetence. And then she starts thinking of him like a child. And then it's downhill from there.

Has nothing to do with "plausible deniability" as another poster mentioned. Wholly a measure of competency.

That doesn't mean she wants him to lead her per se, but I guess the opposite of "not leading" is "leading."

Anyway it's subtle and nuanced.

No average woman is going to be happy being treated like an idiot by her mate.

She just wants her mate to not be an idiot.

[deleted] · 2015-07-23T23:32:47+00:00

There's no better shade than a strong man's guidance. Seriously, it's so comfortable. You can do anything in it. There are just so few men nowadays who are up to the job, legitimately, so women are going haywire. Our environment is pretty volatile to anyone's ability to thrive though.

nomdplume · 2015-07-23T05:50:45+00:00

For me, there are no "shoulds" in life. There is what works and what doesn't work.

For me, my relationships with women go much better when I'm being a leader and not a follower (that includes my female friends as well as my wife).

That is not to say that the woman can never lead, nor does it mean that I can never follow. It's just that I'm highly incentivized to be a leader and not to be a follower, so I strive to lead.

alreadyredschool · 2015-07-23T07:26:52+00:00

Who is going to make sure that you are happy? Maybe your parents and you. So take the wheel in your own hands. Don't just give away all responsibility, close your eyes and hope that you survive.

FrozenSoil · 2015-07-23T14:46:52+00:00

Its playing off the fact that typically, women want men to lead, and in so doing, allow for plausible deniability if things go south.

Let's be honest, in most of the complaint pieces I've seen or read, when women in relationships are most dissatisfied, is when the male in the relationship isn't taking charge and "being the man".

What aspects of life should he lead? In whichever aspects he chooses. A woman is a free thinking individual, she can choose her own path. If she wants to follow in the trail blazed by her man because it is easier, rather than blazing her own, then so be it.

Aspiring_Hobo · 2015-07-23T13:02:08+00:00

Many women are goofy and need guidance. They also want a guy whose hand they don't have to hold, and who they don't have to protect. It's that simple.

donit · 2015-07-23T19:10:20+00:00

If marriage is a romantic relationship that builds a family, and family creates life, then family comprises all aspects of life. So the answer is within a relationship, which means within a family, which comprises all aspects of life.

OfSpock · 2015-07-23T19:56:09+00:00

Women would experience a net benefit if they typically deferred to men in matters of decision-making because their thoughts are usually clouded by emotions and poor judgment. As things stand, women are often left with sole responsibility for making decisions without receiving male output which is okay but things could be better. If you want the optimal outcome, then decisions should be left to the best decision makers.

donit · 2015-07-23T18:34:18+00:00

If voting led to the destruction of family, then that's one decision that shouldn't have been made.

Voting>Equality>Gender homogenization>Loss of gender>loss of family because it was built on gender.

If your gender is your sexuality, and your sexuality is your system for reproduction, then eliminating gender eliminates reproduction.

If nobody wants to play the part of girl, then there won't be any girls to play the part of wife, and there won't be any wives to play the part of mother.

Roles are decisions. Voting eliminated roles. It's like letting all the players in a football game call the plays, and then wondering why they're just standing around arguing. No roles = no synchronization, which renders everybody unable to play or form a team.

veyron3003 · 2015-07-23T05:55:17+00:00

Yes as you can see the damage women have done when left to make their own decisions.

thereddespair · 2015-07-23T15:21:22+00:00

on aspects that the specific woman cannot lead.

[deleted] · 2015-07-23T18:02:31+00:00

I think if you look at it in the sense of a traditional gender role of a man it makes sense. If man is supposed to protect and provide then naturally women are to live within those boundaries. They have no other alternative but to live within a mans world.

Title	What does it mean that women should be led by men ?
Author	HappilySingleWoman
Upvotes	2
Comments	119
Date	July 23, 2015 5:42 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3eaid9/what_does_it_mean_that_women_should_be_led_by_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-does-it-mean-that-women-should-be-led-by-men.280815 https://theredarchive.com/post/280815

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