Men fall in love easier than women, however, they fall out of love easier than women as well.

geminia999 · 2015-05-20T18:42:37+00:00

I'm sorry I don't have any sources or much experience, but I've heard the opposite really. That men care for the relationship itself a decent amount more and then can be pretty devastated when it ends for quite a while.

But I think an important aspect to ask is who is stopping the relationship most of the time. Most likely someone who wants a relationship to end and pushes for it, is going to stop loving a lot quicker while the other is going to need a while to catch up. And from anecdotal data, it really does seem to be women who propose the separation a lot more so it somewhat supports my view as well.

alreadyredschool · 2015-05-20T18:29:32+00:00

Men with a scarcity mentality fall in love a lot faster than women. They never fall out of love. "She is the one!!!!"

Men with an abundance mentality fall in love slower than women. They fall out if love faster since they have other options.

Women fall in love with betas very slow, while they fall for an alpha in milliseconds. Women fall out of love faster too since they have other options, but finding a guy more alpha than her previous one will be hard since alphas are rare and high in demand.

max_peenor · 2015-05-20T19:56:13+00:00

Male infatuation is obsessive.

Female love (the tingles kind) is obsessive.

I think you are mostly right because the bar is set at different levels between the genders.

Nazrath2112 · 2015-05-20T20:41:54+00:00

Men get addicted easier but women have a harder time over coming addiction. This is true.

haircombsnightmare · 2015-05-20T21:13:04+00:00

I've heard the opposite all my life. Probably, neither is correct.

kick6 · 2015-05-20T19:37:53+00:00

Evo-pysch would suggest just the opposite. Evo-pysch would suggest that women find it easier to break those types of bonds as a woman who was able to move on from a man who was killed by a sabertooth tiger (fall out of love fast), take another suitor (fall back in love fast), and continue to produce offspring would have a much hire chance of her genetics being passed on to future generations.

By the same token: it would behoove men to NOT fall in love at all as being able to take as many suitors as he possibly could would better gaurantee his genetic material would be passed on.

RareBlur · 2015-05-21T01:19:17+00:00

I don't think so, it depends on someone's personality.

TheGreasyPole · 2015-05-21T13:32:21+00:00

Hi Fuschia,

In an attempt to introduce some data for you....(I won;t add commentary lest I breach CMV rules)...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/homo-consumericus/201112/who-utters-i-love-you-first-men-or-women ==================================

In a recent paper (link is external) published in the Journal of Social Psychology, Marissa A. Harrison and Jennifer C. Shortall tackled this exact issue. As a side note, I am one of the consulting editors of this journal albeit I did not review the paper in question. Harrison and Shortall asked 171 heterosexual participants (99 women and 72 men) a set of questions about the love dynamics in a romantic relationship.

Only the data of those who reported having experienced a committed romantic relationship were retained (the great majority of the original sample). I list below key questions of relevance to this post along with the respective findings (all of which are highly statistically significant).

(1) "Who falls in love first in a relationship, a man or a woman?"

=> The great majority of both men and women (87.78%) thought that women would fall in love more rapidly (in support of the stereotype in question).

(2) "Do you think a man or a woman is more likely to say ‘I love you' first in a relationship?"

=> The great majority of both men and women (75.20%) thought that a woman would be more likely to be the first to do so (in support of the stereotype in question).

(3) "In your most recent romantic relationship, how long did it take you to realize you were in love?"

=> Men reported that they fell in love more rapidly than did women.

(4) "In your most recent committed, romantic relationship, who said ‘I love you' FIRST?"

=> Of those who've shared such sentiments (only 12.10% of respondents claimed that neither partners had uttered these words), a much greater percentage of men (64%) as compared to women (18.51%) stated that they were the first to say ‘I love you" first.

(5) "How far into a committed, romantic relationship would you want to have sex with a partner?"

=> As expected, women expressed a desire to wait longer than men prior to having sex.

Bottom line: Whereas both sexes thought that women would be more likely to fall in love first and to express the sentiments in question first, the findings suggest otherwise. Men fall in love more rapidly, and are more likely to be the first to utter "I love you." Of course, it might be the case that men are more likely to share such sentiments as a means of accelerating the timeline for sexual intimacy!

===================================

TheGreasyPole · 2015-05-21T13:40:07+00:00

More (on the out of love question). this time a lot less papers to look through, don;t seem this question has been studied that hard.

What I could find seems to indicate factors other than gender (who broke up with who, how long had the relationship been, how it ended, who gets a new partner first etc) are far more critical.

Did find this...

http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR18/sailor37.pdf ==================================

Although gender differences on break up distress are rarely identified in the research, (Field, Diego, Pelaez, Deeds, & Delgado, 2009), women report more severe depression and hopelessness than men. Women are also twice as likely to experience depression.

However, men are three to four times more likely to commit suicide after a romantic rejection (Mearns,1991; Ustun & Sartorius, 1995). Males who demonstrated Agape, self-less caring love, and Mania, obsessive and jealous, love styles had greater levels of emotional distress following a relationship break up than females (Hammock & Richardson, 2011).

Both men and women report higher levels of depression, loss of self-esteem and intrusive thoughts following a break up if they felt rejected and or betrayed by their partner (Field, Diego, Pelaez, Deeds, & Delgado, 2009; Perilloux & Bus, 2008).

Factors such as which partner initiated the break up, time since the break up occurred, and not yet dating again, appear to make a difference in post-relational dissolution adjustment. In addition, if the relationship breakup was sudden and unexpected, then the individual would demonstrate higher levels of distress as well (Field, Diego, Pelaez, Deeds, & Delgado, 2009)

==================================

[deleted] · 2015-05-20T18:35:48+00:00

According to my personal experiences what you say is true , but apparently a lot of people have experienced different things.

LUClEN · 2015-05-20T18:43:15+00:00

That holds true for me. Can't speak for others

GridReXX · 2015-05-20T19:41:19+00:00

Seems true to my experience.

Lovehatex123 · 2015-05-20T20:34:13+00:00

I think the opposite.

(Assuming a heterosexual relationship) Our society has conditioned men to hide their emotions and be stoic creatures around their friends and/or families. When a woman enters the picture and bonds with the man on a deep emotional level, that's probably his only interaction with those sort of deep emotions. On the other hand, women are encouraged and thought of stereotypically as sharing secrets, crying together, having sleepovers, and generally being close friends. Men don't often engage in this, and are encouraged not to (hence the stark difference between "bros" and "gal pals"). While women have lots of emotional connections, men usually do not, and so when they meet a woman that they have a connection with, they go a little crazy with emotions sometimes because it's their only outlet.

mordanus · 2015-05-20T22:15:26+00:00

I've seen it to be much the opposite. I've seen women fall out of love with a man in less than a day and move in with another man immediately. I've seen women rationalize that since they love a new guy that it must mean they never loved their man in the first place and just move on.

zikkitzo · 2015-05-21T04:58:43+00:00

Women don't fall in love with men. They fall in love with being provided for. Men don't fall in love, blue pill men become obsessed though.

[deleted] · 2015-05-21T09:18:01+00:00

Yep, true in my own relationships at least.

[deleted] · 2015-05-21T14:05:01+00:00

Matches my experience.

adrixshadow · 2015-05-20T18:25:55+00:00

I have no idea how you come up with that kind of conclusion.

It makes no sense to me.

wazzup987 · 2015-05-20T21:39:42+00:00

i agree with half i think men fall in love quicker and will cling.

Aerobus · 2015-05-20T18:30:40+00:00

I have no proof and it looks like you don't either, but I'm inclined to agree.

Title	Men fall in love easier than women, however, they fall out of love easier than women as well.
Author	Fuschia19
Upvotes	7
Comments	51
Date	May 20, 2015 6:14 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/36nl1u/men_fall_in_love_easier_than_women_however_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-fall-in-love-easier-than-women-however-they.282050 https://theredarchive.com/post/282050

Comments