She doesn't love you.

GaiusScaevolus · 2013-11-11T20:09:00+00:00

I'll take this one;

Should a forum dedicated to becoming attractive to women completely disregard advice from women? Why would or wouldn't this be beneficial?

The old saying goes that if you want to catch a fish, ask a fisherman and not a fish. In the same vein, you don't ask a woman for advice on women.

This goes along with the concept of rationalizations and hamstering. The experience of a overwhelming majority of men is that women give us poor advice regarding women, mostly because they aren't quite sure themselves.

Not to say that the input of women isn't considered. It is. Just in more of a "pay attention to what she does not what she says" way.

EDIT: theredpill isn't focused on becoming attractive to women, though becoming successfull with women is aa large portion of it.

redpillschool · 2013-11-11T18:29:25+00:00

The fact that "I'm not happy" is a common excuse for women divorcing men (and it really is majorily women doing it) tells us that they enjoy being attracted to you more than they are willing to commit despite attraction (i.e. loyalty & unconditional love).

Men can exhibit this, and frankly this really doesn't have to be gender exclusive. At the end of the day, we aren't studying male tendencies. You could probably make a very compelling argument that this is a human behavior if all else is made equal. But I'd say since there are less incentives (alimony goes overwhelmingly one way) for women to maintain commitments beyond how it feels to them, it's currently a majorly female problem.

[deleted] · 2013-11-12T23:40:06+00:00

It's terrible advice to give to men and I don't even understand how anyone can take it seriously. I don't know one single man who would agree with one single thing in that post. It's like alien speak to me. I can't believe I live on the same planet as that person.

The reason the men I know are happy in their relationships is because they trust women. Because they have allowed themselves to drop their guard and become best friends with someone they fell in love with. How do I know this? Because I talk to them.

I also know three men who were unhappy. Three men who ended up killing themselves. What they all had in common was that they never let their guard down. They never talked about their problems. They thought they had to be strong at all times. They never wanted to be a burden on a woman. Ideas about traditional masculinity kill men.

lokidemon731 · 2013-11-12T00:56:20+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure what SoftHarem is complaining about. In TRP worldview, as I see it, love is not something that stretches beyond "I love you because you are useful to me". It's all about men and women continually being as attractive as possible to their mates because unconditional love just won't happen. After all, apparently men don't love anything they don't own. Humans love what is valuable to them, what brings them joy and pleasure. If you look at that kind of love as not loving the person, well everyone's guilty of it. Why and how would you love something that does nothing for you?

[deleted] · 2013-11-12T08:28:38+00:00

I actually don't agree with any of this.

FleetingWish · 2013-11-11T23:04:54+00:00

If I may use a quote that you left out:

She loves the primal orgasms from being held down and ravaged. She loves how her friends pine over the new mysterious guy, and most importantly she loves that you maintain your frame when she is being completely irrational, but she does not love you.

If you read between the lines, what SH is essentially complaining about (or explaining?) is that women love the version of yourself that you project that is appealing to them. Women love the version of you that maintains the "façade" of masculinity. The façade isn't the "real you", but rather the version of yourself you have to be in order to gain love.

Now, while I agree with him, I think he's missing part of the picture, and that is his frustration of having to be "someone else" in order to gain love is not unique to men. In order to get love, or gain love, you have to be someone who is worthy of love. See, there is no "real" you, who are changes based on if you are with your parents, your lover, your boss, or your kids. Whether or not there really is a "inner part of you, that is your truest self" is irrelevant, because people can't judge you based on that, that would be impossible, they can only judge you on how you act towards them. If someone treats me with kindness, I will like them, if someone is rude to me, I won't.

Whether or not the version of yourself you're projecting is just a "façade" we all need to project one. To suggest that it's somehow bad that there's no one out there who will love you for "the real you" is overly optimistic, and dare I say... blue pill.

Svarthofthi · 2013-11-12T10:25:23+00:00

I really don't understand this at all.

These are pretty large generalizations, and honestly, dangerous ones as well. Backed up by the fact that if the women gave advice they'd have been removed from the community. Moreover, that "unicorns" being first/second hand information of what, woman who act rationally or show loyalty without being spoiled indolent children? What kind of forum destroys the actual chance for discussion?

I don't think he's looking for any sort of feedback, he's just looking for stroking. "Yeah, you're right, women suck" and propagate the whole game mentality of manipulating women and using them before they have the chance to use us because now we know better. Right? Mind you, I've had bad experiences with women, but I have also had good experiences and I'm clandestinely "beta" by TRP's standards.

Disregarding advice from women is case by case, really. Insight can come from anywhere, take what they say and see if you find merit in it. To disregard any advice based on a generalization is pretty foolish.

Not to mention, there are homeless women. Abused women, girls from broken homes, who really have no recourse. Tragedy exists in all shapes and forms. The problem with the red pill is they focus on this nebulous woman-form that is spoiled and gets what she wants, and it disgusts them. Gender bias is pretty ridiculous, the thing that TRP accuses women of "lack of loyalty and love" is the same exact qualities that a lot of their subscribers throw out in their commentaries.

One example being from "http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1q2wrj/update_wife_demanded_open_marriage_to_ride_the/"

There is a disproportionate amount of deleted comments all deemed inappropriate, most of which were propping up the husband for his ill-gotten successes. Which of these people would you consider likely of having a valid, healthy relationship when they openly revel in the vindictive behavior that this guy exudes? If I secretly loathed women for perceived flaws that were this huge, I don't think I could love them or be loyal to them, its a matter of trust and frankly TRP does, very obviously, not trust women.

TRP seems to determine "success" with women based on the game. You have sex with women on your terms. As well as some nebulous notion of being the best man you can be, the ultimate alpha, which in and of itself, its definition seems varied and uncertain as different people value different things but the one constant seems to be the "on your terms" notion. Most of my interaction with people employing the game was superficial and manipulative by nature. Showing fake interest in the girl's hopes and dreams, and a varied approach to hurting her confidence "negging" and weakening her defenses enough to score. I dunno, to me, it just seems like TRP is guilty of the exact things they accuse women of doing.

I don't want to condemn TRP as a whole, as I don't like generalizations, but I have seen a lot of questionable behavior from that forum. If it focused more on bringing about equality for genders and educating men on how to relate with the flux in gender roles these days and how to retain manliness throughout, I would find it a more beneficial sub.

Zackcid · 2013-11-19T04:57:56+00:00

Is this good advice to give to men?

Yes. Much better than what is already given, anyway.

Do women really not have to worry about food, shelter, or security?

No, but if you take the effort to read between the lines, you start to see what he's implying. For instance, when comparing men to women, men are much more likely than women to have to work and put in effort to get these things. For example, men are typically the ones taking women out for dinner and paying for them. Government also has women only programs, some of which were brought to light in the recent Gvn't shutdown. The other major point that you can read between the lines is when comparing to olden times. SoftHarem mentioned the way grannies used to love their grandads. Well, before the 20th century, women needed all this shit from men and sought out marriage to obtain it. Nowadays, if you are in need of this stuff, you're likely to get aid from gvn't and others, rather than going for a man.

Title	She doesn't love you.
Author	fhqwhgads_
Upvotes	6
Comments	85
Date	November 11, 2013 5:56 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qe1j0/she_doesnt_love_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/she-doesnt-love-you.286630 https://theredarchive.com/post/286630

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