If TRP is ineffective, what sexual "strategies" do work?

fhqwhgads_ · 2013-10-15T20:48:50+00:00

Meet people by doing things, get to know them, if you like them tell them that, and if the two of you are into it, have consensual sex, or begin a relationship, or both, in whatever order you like. If you begin a relationship, seek to keep the lines of communication open, because surprise, talking about problems is the best way to resolve them. Treat people you are intimate with with respect, and if they don't treat you with respect, do yourself a favour and end the relationship. Rinse and repeat, or, if you prefer, be polyamorous and do take these steps concurrently instead of sequentially.

Avoid getting intimate with horrible people who treat others like dirt. If everyone you've dated has been a manipulative self-absorbed spiderfuck, you might want to check your dating criteria.

Avoid getting intimate with people who you think probably shouldn't be dating/fucking you. If someone is super vulnerable and in a bad place and not doing so hot, being casually fucked by you might not be the best thing for them, even if you could probably get them to do it. Same thing if someone is sloppy drunk... That's not asking for your dick, that's asking for a sandwich and a glass of water.

I'll give an example from my life. One day while smoking outside the university I go to, a woman walked up to me and asked my name. We talked for about fifteen minutes; she was just bored and wanted someone to talk to. We went our separate ways. Later on we met up at that same spot over and over because our schedules lined up. We exchanged numbers and had some study dates. Then I told her that I was interested in hooking up with her, cuz she's really beautiful and super sweet. Then she was like, nah I don't think so, I'm trying to work on platonic male friendships.

OHHH! I GOT FRIENDZONED! MY GAME DOESNT WORK! Nope. My strategy worked perfectly because my strategy's purpose is to sort people who want to fuck me who I also wanna fuck, from everyone else, and she doesn't wanna fuck me. And I made a friend, and she's great and we made hummus yesterday and talked about Plato. And I'm not going to fuck her, or date her, and that's totally fine with me. I go to school with like twenty thousand other people. I'm in a band. I volunteer. I have a job. I meet people every day. And I don't wanna fuckin manipulate any of em into fucking me, or act like they don't know what they "really" want.

Plus, I'm polyamorous. There are two people that I've been dating for over a year, and a few others that I see more casually from time to time. Not all of them are women, but I didn't use any kind of 'game' or 'strategy' on any of them, other than the tried and true 'be nice and respectful; don't be a sucker' method. Of the women I see currently, I met one at a party, one online, one at AA, and one at school. When I meet people who I think are vain or selfish or cruel, I don't try to hook up with them. It's a great strategy, works like a charm.

spechick · 2013-10-15T22:20:58+00:00

It feels like the idea behind sexual strategy is like.... "here's the cheat code to relationships" the 'game' breaks down however when you think about all these 'cheats' you're applying are to other human beings, rather than NPCs.

Using 'cheats' like negging, physical escalation, ^(nope⁾ and dread game ^{(nope nope nope nope}⁾ to coerce someone else into intimacy is immoral at best.
I don't think there is really any 'moral' sexual strategy that you can work on another person. All that stuff's gotta come from within.

I'm all for bettering yourself. Go out, get fit, join an extracurricular and meet new people. Perfectly okay.
I know a lot of people hate the "be yourself" thing, so here's my advice: Work at becoming genuinely likeable, then you won't have to strategize and plan all your sexual encounters in advance.

Fancypantser92 · 2013-10-16T04:08:01+00:00

Different "strategies" work for different aims. Your initial impression is like a resume, and you need to cater it for the kind of job/relationship you want. TRP/PUA can be like claiming to have completely different qualifications and skills to get a really competitive job; it might get you a foot in the door, but ultimately leads to disappointment. Your resume/first impression also determines the type of jobs/women likely to give you a chance: a research fellowship doesn't give a rat's ass how many hospitality summer jobs you've had, just as fast food joints aren't looking for people highly skilled in academic subjects. Some women want displays of power and status, some women want men who share mutual interests and values, some want a man fit enough to go hiking with, and so on.

If you want to be with women "out of your league", you have two options:

A) Temporary strategies to level the playing field (TRP, PUA): Bring her self esteem/judgment ability down (negging, getting her drunk) or fudge your qualifications as a partner. This only works on insecure women, easily (and temporarily) fooled women, and women impressed with the kinds of things TRP promotes (social status, displays of power).

B) Permanent strategies to raise your attractiveness, such as bettering yourself (striving for success, going to the gym, dressing better, etc.). This is limited by whatever your personal limitations are, and how much effort you're willing to go to. The approach you take will determine the kinds of women who will find you attractive.

OR: C) Scattergun approach- go for ALL the women (including/especially women who also have limited choices in partners). In going for "out of your league" women, you're essentially asking them to look past whatever it is that makes you less attractive, because they might find something great. Why not do the same for girls at or just below your level?

The likelihood of achieving initial success is increased the more impressive you make your resume look, which is the premise of PUA. However, long term success (relationships) is only possible when you actually are the person they thought they hired. So do some real self improvement, and only embellish your good qualities to a realistic extent.

If you want a long term, loving relationship with an equal partner, remember that dating is a two way street. YOU are also in the position of an employer looking for a suitable candidate. Unlike a job, you don't NEED a relationship, so you can wait to choose the best one you can get. Take women off the pedestal and/or out of the ditch. Stop treating women like mysterious "others", or puzzles to solve to unlock the sex, or dating like an adversarial game. This goes for PUA, but ALSO men who attempt to increase their value to women by being servile*. Women WANT to find someone, you don't need to fool or trick the right ones for you.

Oh, and I'm an attractive woman by the way. I know the whole "when you want to learn to catch the fish, you don't ask the fish" thing. But really, if you only want to catch women who want you to catch them, why not catch them the ways they want to be caught?

*ON BUYING DRINKS AND OTHER FAVOURS: Don't buy women drinks! Why would you do that? It's a cheap and easily seen through way to show that you're interested and want to seem nice. It's also a bit shady because alcohol impairs judgement, so the whole concept fits neatly into category A. It also makes her feel that you think you can buy her attention, and it looks desperate that you'd even want to try to. You don't want to attract the kind of woman who considers your willingness to buy her drinks a significantly positive addition to your value as a partner. It ends in 4 ways: woman uses you for drinks then bails (worst), the offer turns the woman off (bad), it attracts women who like you more for buying her drinks (probably not what you want), is a neutral way to approach women who don't care about drinks (best case scenario, and you'd still be better off just saying hi). It's not worth it.

MorphologicalMayhem · 2013-10-15T20:44:03+00:00

I think that a "sexual strategy" might work for casual sex. I definitely think that if you are looking for a long term relationship, it is useless. For a long term relationship you want trust and friendship as well as attraction. Those are things you gain from getting to know someone on an honest level. It means "being yourself". You won't find love by pretending.

Canned_Wine199 · 2013-10-16T16:40:38+00:00

Being interesting and attractive and confident and honest about what you're looking for

puaSenator · 2013-10-15T21:32:26+00:00

The difference of natural and effective game vs TRP is that one is conscious about what they are doing and the other isn't conscious. Instead of learning seduction directly through others, naturals figured it out on their own. That's really the only difference. TBP doesn't like this because it seems manipulative and overtly open (which I find ironic because there are magazines in every grocery store giving advice to women. But apparently when men start giving advice and getting into it deeply, even to the psychological level, all of a sudden it's wrong). In fact the brutal honesty within TRP is what scares some people away.

So if you don't want to learn TRP, don't. Go learn these lessons on your own. It'll take much longer but at least it won't come with any stigma.

EDIT: Here's an example of how a natural works and how people in the community look at it: A natural will not buy a drink for a girl soon as he meets her who he may be sexully interested in. We notice just about everyone does this. That's odd.

Now TRP looks at this and starts the childlike inquisitive quest of asking "why?" Why does this seem like such a common trait? Why do girls respect him more, and subsequently like him more when he refuses to buy her a drink? Why does he choose not to do this? What type of characteristics lead to becoming the type of person that just naturally doesn't buy a girl a drink?

Then the TRP therapy comes in. We discovered that these men don't buy her drinks because he's independent and she hasn't offered him any value yet, so he feels no obligation to offer her something for free. He likely has many women in his life, so he doesn't need to be bothered wasting 5 bucks for no reason. So we need to look deep into ourselves and think, "Why am I offering drinks to other people for no reason? I clearly shouldn't be doing this. It makes me look weak and like a pushover. I need to figure out why I am being like this and correct it, so I can get one step closer to becoming a fulfilled independent man."

But having these realizations aren't as simple. So it's often encouraged to fake it until you make it -- Stop buying girls drinks and here is why. If you dissagree, fine. Don't argue with me, and you'll see the results first hand. Then you'll understand.

It's literally self help that uses seduction as a barometer of success.

[deleted] · 2013-10-15T20:13:26+00:00

I would love an answer to this that isn't "be yourself". I have always been myself and confident, and that got me nowhere. Then I started 'not being myself' via game, and BAM!

Many TRPers see how it's hard to have a nice monogamous loving relationship last forever, and RP tenets like hypergamy get in the way. I know I'm not alone in saying if there was a better way, I would ditch TRP in a second for it.

[deleted] · 2013-10-15T20:59:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lucifuture · 2013-10-23T16:57:15+00:00

You know I haven't ever employed any of the bullshit suggested in TRP and I would consider myself very successful with women. While the whole hitting the gym thing is along the lines of bettering yourself I would say that is an important thing in life in general and will make you more attractive.

Anyway what I have found is just putting yourself out there and trying, learning from your mistakes, growing as a person, and learning how to maneuver more adeptly socially is really all you need. You don't need any underhanded tactics like "negging" or any stupid bullshit like that. Developing a good rapport with people and being a sincere person is going to always be more attractive than a douche bag with a chip on his shoulder. There is an obvious difference between somebody who is exaggerating their quality and misrepresents their worth and somebody who is sincerely a worthwhile person. And this even qualifies for one night stands.

Also, the best thing about being a decent human being rather than a terper is you don't have to worry about being accused of rape because you won't be forcing yourself on anybody or sexually assaulting anyone. I know terpers like to pretend they don't hate women and aren't pro rape, but if you actually read any of the shit in that sub you will know that is a load of bullshit.

Title	If TRP is ineffective, what sexual "strategies" do work?
Author	insultsbythepound
Upvotes	9
Comments	185
Date	October 15, 2013 7:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1oiuc3/if_trp_is_ineffective_what_sexual_strategies_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-trp-is-ineffective-what-sexual-strategies-do.286702 https://theredarchive.com/post/286702

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