FINALLY AN LTR WORTHY GIRL!!! But How Do I Maintain Frame and Keep One-itis at Bay?

SoloQueueXL · 2019-09-20T14:45:16+00:00

You have to emotionally detach from her first. If you’re already focused on this girl clearly your mission isn’t that important.

Find a new drive pussy will always be there.

UrBallsAreShowing · 2019-09-20T15:03:13+00:00

I’ve never met a 21 LTR. You’re 39, you should know that 21 year olds are impressionable, immature and barely entering adulthood. - All characteristics of someone not to LTR

MattyAnon · 2019-09-20T16:38:31+00:00

I’ve finally found a girl worthy of an LTR

Have you been seeing her for more than 3 months? If not, she's still a maybe.

I’m recognizing myself already treating her a bit differently, given the rarity of a find like this

And boom, she's on a pedestal and you're behaving less attractively.

Question: How to I maintain my aloof frame that attracted her at the start and not let one-itis creep in?

Keep your options with other girls open, consider her a "maybe", be reluctant to commit.

Continue to spin plates, abundance mentality, etc… The thing is I just can’t stomach any more time with post-wall independent sloots that are my typical plate options.

You realise that you are actually WANTING to beta-date her right? And that's the problem right there.

What else you got? I’m looking for constructive advice on guys who have held frame and had success in such a situation.

For me: avoid exclusivity.

This might not be what you want to hear, but sooner or later women lose respect for women who won't/can't fuck someone else.

caius100 · 2019-09-20T14:54:13+00:00

There is only one way to prevent oneitis. Abundance. That is the key.

[deleted] · 2019-09-20T15:13:10+00:00

I'm currently in an LTR who has a similar background to your girl (apart from the religious element).

In terms of frame you'll need to be able to consistently pass shit tests. In other words, there is no real difference in frame control when compared to managing a plate. That being said, you will at times need to add a level of comfort here and there for when she's feeling insecure.

More importantly, make sure you keep improving your SMV (lift, have a mission, hobbies, social circle etc) and whatever you do, don't get comfortable. It's tempting after a while to relax a bit, thinking she'll stay with you because of your top personality. But all that will happen is that her attraction to you will wane over time. So, make sure you're always on top of things and continue to take care of yourself.

effyouasshole · 2019-09-20T15:42:05+00:00

FINALLY AN LTR WORTHY GIRL!!!

Woah there, buddy... take a deep breath.

I also recognize AWALT, and putting this girl on a pedestal will only sabotage my goals.

Bingo. So there's a little self-awareness in you after all. In that case: are you seeing how you've already put her up on that pedestal?

I’ve finally found a girl worthy of an LTR… [...] can’t ignore my drive to have children someday [...] The thing is I just can’t stomach any more time with post-wall independent sloots that are my typical plate options.

Scarcity mentality detected.

Your post is typical of guys who have a weak/no mission, and think that having children fills that void. Nope. Its OK to want children, but they will not be your "legacy". Only YOU can forge that with your own two hands.

So let me ask you: what is your mission?

[deleted] · 2019-09-20T16:58:57+00:00

Not to be a Debby downer but a 21y/o who wants to be in a LTR with a 39 y/o is a red flag. I would for sure plate her, but i would reconsider a LTR unless you enjoy suffering hahah.

ironmag23 · 2019-09-20T16:34:30+00:00

Lol @ an LTR that is 21. You might think you can mold and shape her, but you're wrong. Plate her.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-20T19:20:22+00:00

A 21 year old willing to date a 39 year old is not LTR material by default lmao

YallmindifIhitthat · 2019-09-21T09:19:39+00:00

Don't mean to sound like a ass here and I'm sure your smv is through the roof and stuff but ask yourself what "LTR worthy" girl goes out with an almost 40 year old dude. Like I'm sure you're attractive and successful but In my mind this is a red flag in its self. Just a thought being 22 myself. Any girl I know that goes out with significantly older guys has a bit of a complex. But then again what do I know. Enjoy your conservative Christian virgin.

drumandtheywillcum86 · 2019-09-20T16:16:55+00:00

lmfao why is a 21 year old Christian virgin dating a person who was an adult when she was born ? If that's even true you sound like a fucking creep

Plasticannihilation · 2019-09-20T15:23:28+00:00

Goodluck dude. May she gargle your balls well enough that you forget how many people she has been a cum dumpster for before. You are only savior from a career in prostitution, she thought you would be her sugar daddy, but you are dumber.

Rx_Red · 2019-09-20T16:06:33+00:00

You recognize AWALT but seem to be setting that notion aside to a degree. Given any reasonable opportunity to do so, she will AWALT. Treat her like she has already AWALT'd in your mind. Just don't treat her like she is blatantly doing AWALT-like things, but just have the the mindset that she has

edit: it sounds like you have a bit of a unicorn-outlook and makes me wonder if that's seeping out of you in a subtle, subconscious, but noticeable way

nofears · 2019-09-20T16:17:34+00:00

Yeah, I'm pretty self-aware so I recognize where I may be getting off track of it.

Exactly the point of this post. Hoping you guys would reinforce the truths and knock some sense into me before I get too enthralled with a "unicorn."

Chadster113 · 2019-09-20T16:37:55+00:00

Lol you want to LTR a chick that is in her prime years ? Good luck.

Acute oneitis

reallytaykeith · 2019-09-20T17:09:07+00:00

The way to win is to play both sides of the game

Jesusfeminist · 2019-09-20T17:14:29+00:00

You are so blue, disappointing

FereallyRed · 2019-09-20T17:18:21+00:00

Rule 3

wkndatbernardus · 2019-09-20T18:52:39+00:00

The problem with women this young is that, despite their, as you called it, conservative upbringing, you never know how our toxic culture is going to effect them in the long-term. She may be as u describe, close to ideal, right now but, if she goes to college (or is in college or hangs out with college attendees), she'll likely succumb to the typical temptations that we would associate with ruining her as a LTR/marriage candidate.

I would tread lightly here. Maintain frame and see where it goes for a year or so. You sound eager to nail her down which shows me she has the leverage in the relationship dynamic right now, which is bad news for you. Remember, mirages are our own creations when we're in the desert, thirsty, and desperate for water.

Sylvester_Sterone · 2019-09-20T20:39:13+00:00

Your title says it all.

You think she's special... she's not. Most 21 year olds with their instagram are knee deep in the party years. If she doesn't do that now she has plenty of time to consider it.

Enjoy it though. I'm 32 lining out in the midwest seeing a 24 year old. Sure she's from a small town (pop 600) with good family values. Do I enjoy the relationship? Sure. Will I be all torn up when she leaves? No, I'll find more.

aWorldBornDead · 2019-09-20T22:11:16+00:00

Don't worry. In about six months she'll start acting retarded and manifest baggage out of nowhere and this will help you keep oneitis at bay. It's happening to me right now because i found the same thing that you did (except mine is also asian. exotic) and everything was great until now suddenly she has all these family issues and I became the emotional tampon. Still get sex but also am a tampon. Her family body shames her (she's thicc but I like it) so she's started going out of her way to get validation from other guys because my validation isn't enough. So yeah... that LTR worthiness will go away sooner or later. Hopefully its before you put a ring on her finger or put a kid inside her.

nofears · 2019-09-30T03:06:30+00:00

Update Turns out the bitch ain't no virgin. She just strongly alluded to it and put up a front to appear as a good girl trying to lock down a guy.

I finally broke down her resistance, and found out she likes to be pounded HARD, while screaming fuck me daddy by a much older man.

I guess we all have moments of retardation. Not sure why I painted such a blue pilled picture of her in my mind. I think it was my ego getting in the way. Thanks guys for keeping me in check.

One-itis officially shattered, and furthermore she's definitely not LTR material.

Title	FINALLY AN LTR WORTHY GIRL!!! But How Do I Maintain Frame and Keep One-itis at Bay?
Author	nofears
Upvotes	2
Comments	49
Date	September 20, 2019 2:36 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d6vt6e/finally_an_ltr_worthy_girl_but_how_do_i_maintain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/finally-an-ltr-worthy-girl-but-how-do-i-maintain.288565 https://theredarchive.com/post/288565

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