Q4W: How important is it that your boyfriend has a friend group that can easily assimilate and hang out with your friend group?

2019-10-22T18:47:14+00:00

Do not care even remotely about this.

2019-10-22T18:52:01+00:00

It's a nice-to-have, but it's not that important.

Most of the guys I've dated had mutual friends anyway so this hasn't really been an issue.

2019-10-22T22:19:48+00:00

i don't really like mixing friend groups anymore. you break up and things become sticky. he can hang out with my friends and i can hang out with his but i'm not merging again lol. i did that in a major with my last boyfriend and now were essentially stuck in each others life

when i was younger though it was a lot more important, like in college, we all had to be able to rage together lol

LSTW1234 · 2019-10-22T18:55:23+00:00

It’s pretty important because (1) I get a lot of joy out of getting to know my bf’s friends and I like being able to get a group together to go skiing or something, and (2) if he doesn’t have friends I see it as a red flag and I don’t think he’d be the type of person I’d be interested in anyway.

pngmafia97 · 2019-10-22T19:36:40+00:00

important for serious boyfriend, do not give a flying fuck for casual

irl i get along with nearly everybody and have multiple friend groups with which to facilitate intermingling so this has never been an issue practically speaking

also i would never date someone whose personality was so incompatible with mine that it would be impossible for any of our friends to mesh

2019-10-22T19:15:24+00:00

Not important at all. My friends hated my high school boyfriend. My more recent ex and I never even met most of one another's friends.

2019-10-22T19:19:09+00:00

It's a bonus but not a necessity. Besides, in the event of a messy breakup, it's better to have your friends and his friends, not "our" friends.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-10-22T18:48:08+00:00

lol why do i still have friends? i found a BF

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findingfemininity · 2019-10-22T19:28:33+00:00

Not important at all and I strongly prefer keeping our friend groups separate. I only care about his friends as far as a) he has some and b) they don't have any major red flags (i.e. he's not hanging out with covicted felons)

2019-10-22T19:41:27+00:00

Not at all. My husband's friends have never hung out with my friends. It's not that big of a deal. It was important to each of us to be able to get along on some level with each other's friends but our friend groups have never overlapped.

2019-10-22T19:56:27+00:00

Not really. If they don’t get along it’s an opportunity to assimilate to a different friend group and keep them as a back up.

Mulkvistee · 2019-10-22T20:06:25+00:00

With bf's my own age I cared somewhat, my husband is older and didn't give a fuck about knowing or hanging out with my college friends, but he liked my artsy dance/musician friends. We mostly hung out with his friends. I care a lot about how they get along with my family though.

2019-10-22T23:26:04+00:00

Don't care. Those people aren't involved in our relationship, I'm not dating his friends and vice versa. I only care that he's not put off by my friends and I'm not disgusted by his friends, whether or not our collective friends ever meet each other doesn't matter one bit to me.

2019-10-23T01:19:38+00:00

Not super important, but nice. If I hate his friends or he hates mine that's a problem. If our friend groups hated each other so much as to make hanging out together impossible/unpleasant I'd consider it a sign of incompatibility but if they just don't gel I could live with it.

2019-10-23T04:14:14+00:00

I don't care about this. I'm a few years younger than my BF and it would be a turnoff/concerning if anyone in his friends group, including him, could fit in with my peers.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-10-23T09:27:36+00:00

So-so. But they should be able to hang out well.with me. I dont normally mix my friends, I just hate cliques.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-10-23T11:14:03+00:00

I've never even thought about that. Maybe that's just because I'm not a super social person and have individual friends more than friend groups. I don't want to hang out in a big group on a regular basis.

To me the only way that his friends are relevant is in the sense that who he chooses to spend time with is indicative of his personality.

we-are-men-with-ven · 2019-10-23T11:24:09+00:00

Very important.

shoup88 · 2019-10-23T12:08:58+00:00

It’s important that we can hang with each other friends groups where neither of us embarrasses the other, but it’s good to have your own friends.

Having couple friends where you both like them is nice though.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-10-23T12:18:24+00:00

Super important. I made the mistake of dating a guy whose friends I hated. Never again, that’s a huge red flag

2019-10-23T13:34:32+00:00

that is terrifying. why do we need to all be friends? ew

Title	Q4W: How important is it that your boyfriend has a friend group that can easily assimilate and hang out with your friend group?
Author	yes_i_am_dumb
Upvotes	2
Comments	36
Date	October 22, 2019 6:26 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dlm2gv/q4w_how_important_is_it_that_your_boyfriend_has_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-how-important-is-it-that-your-boyfriend-has-a.292304 https://theredarchive.com/post/292304

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