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Shoved wife during argument, now she's wanting me to move out for the weekend.

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October 25, 2019


Post Information
Title Shoved wife during argument, now she's wanting me to move out for the weekend.
Author FatRPNewbie
Upvotes 7
Comments 26
Date 25 October 2019 05:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/292720
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dn0otr/shoved_wife_during_argument_now_shes_wanting_me/
Similar Posts

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret 25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think you’re leaving out a lot - my gut feeling. It’s probably not the first time you did this. Also, my gut tells me you Deer’d the fuck out of it and profusely apologized, which just shows your extreme weakness. I think /u/judgedoom69 nailed it, and you are most likely a heavy drinker also.

Listen, I put on 10 pounds of muscle in my first year of MRP just because I was always pissed at her (in her frame). Put down the bottle and pick up some iron. And for fucks sake, read the entire sidebar.

Half-assed attempts get you half assed results

[–]dll142 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct. OP is completely in his wife's frame by DEERing and letting her rattle him. Also, sure women can be cunts and piss you off, but you CANNOT hit, shove, or slap them! OP, you're setting yourself up to being thrown in jail. Cool off and get your shit together. Lift, lift, lift.... hell take up a martial art or boxing as well.

[–]JudgeDoom69 45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't put the genie back in the bottle. You messed up, so own it and apologize and move on.

You need to take your anger out on the iron at the gym. To your wife and kid you must be an oak, stoic and strong.

Don't ever let her shit rattle you like that again. And if you had been drinking, it is time to quit drinking.

[–]SeamusAwl -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

It sounded like he owned it to me.

[–]RStonePT 10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

There is no greater loss of frame than resorting to physical contact

Sidebar and get to work. Whether she stays or not is not within your control, kind of like your desire to get started before this

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I found my wifes journal from before we met. I dont have to tell you how the story goes man.

You can say you dont give a fuck all you want. A part my brain does because I cant sleep anymore. I had no idea depression in men could manifest in agression or insomnia.

Why am I telling you this?

There is no greater loss of frame than resorting to physical contact

I got into a real fight a few weeks back, with another man. Its was fucked up. Total loss of frame. He shoulder checked me in the mall and I escliated with an unmeasured response.

This one on genuine desire changed the dialog in my mind and started pulling me out of my pit of despair.

Thanks for the rope Rian, I'll pull myself out. Go save the next guy.

[–]RStonePT 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

On it man.

So a diary huh? The thotcronomicon must have been a dangerous read

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got that journal locked away. Its soooooo valuable for my son's.

Even their mother is like that.

What a gift, I'll get past this.

This worth it just for that.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando 27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

Next time just flash your fat belly at her.

She'll jump out of your way.

[–]JameisBong 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mrbadassmotherfucker 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Start doing as much reading as you can on frame. Read about it, learn it, internalise it.

It's something thats difficult to develop but it's VITAL that you do. Get your own understanding of what frame is and live by it.

At the moment, you're in your wife's frame. Shit she says, shit she does, it all affects you.

You've apologised. Good, now move on. Don't move out, don't comply to this test. She'll make her own space if she needs it

Don't apologise any more either. If it comes up again, either stfu or fog. Agree you fucked up and it shouldn't have happened, but don't say "sorry" anymore, you've already done that.

[–]Elvis_Death 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Enough groveling with apologies. FOG, then move on

[–]dll142 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, this is the 3rd comment I've written in this post either as a direct response to you or another guy's comment. Lift and build your frame! Women see constant DEERing and apologizing as pussy ass weak.

The great thing I did for my relationship when I was taking steps to leave her frame and build my own was to STFU, stop DEERing and let shit go.

Love your wife with those actions and she most likely will come around. They are so in tune with your emotional frame of mind and they can smell weakness like a dog smells fear.

[–]PillUpAss 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

half assing it

This plus the fact you needed to ask a ridiculous question should tell you all you need to know.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t even take this serious.

He’s either a fucking idiot or a troll.

[–]LeonidasMRP 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Disciplining your son? Were you spanking, AKA beating? I'm assuming you were because you are admitting to a lot of aggression in the behavior and communication towards your wife. Stop it. This is weak minded, unintelligent, bully-style parenting. Your son won't forget it.

[–]Balls_Wellington_ 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

But he might end up emulating it.

[–]JameisBong 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey there Billy Beta,if you spent more time at the gym your anger and frustration would be on the weights and not your wife. Don't move out but start taking this shit seriously. You should be "wanting to self improve" not arguing with your disrespectful children (the wife is the oldest child under your care). Read,lift and by all means shut your mouth until you learn to tactfully charm and disarm your oldest child. Good luck.

[–]teaandtalk 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have you been physical with her before?

[–]johnn2015 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly if it’s heading toward divorce then who cares? Focus on yourself and stop worrying about upsetting her.

[–]dll142 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, get out of your wife's frame. You have to be DEERing. Stop that shit. You sound needy and dependent. All the side bar material gives you the information you need to overcome that shit. Trust me, I know, I'm a recovering needy ass bastard myself. I used to DEER and apologize and feel guilty and all that. Now, I get called an asshole alot, and when I get criticized, I either fog it or own it, depending on if my wife is pointing out a weakness she sees.

Oh, and DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER! That's weak as fuck and you're ass is going to end up in jail!

[–]ImNotSlash 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every situation is different. Keep this in mind.

Years ago my wife (then gf) and I were in a nasty fight. In short, I shoved her to the ground flat on her ass. This was the first time I had ever been physical with a woman in anger. She didn't know that.

I immediately left the apartment, found a park bench and let out my emotions. I knew the cops would show any minute. But they never did.

I apologized profusely. She said if I ever did it again I'd be dead. I never had any interest trying her (though we would come close several times later).

I'm not sure if my wife would've accepted a second, a third, a fourth... Many women of course do. Many will cut the cord without hesitation after the first.

You violated a serious boundary. But I'd give her space somehow. This isn't her fuck up. It's yours. You can apologize all you want but it really doesn't mean shit. And bet your ass her friends are telling her if you did it once you'll do it again. You can't take it back.

If she follows through with divorce, accept it. If somehow she decides to give you another chance, you must recognize when that tipping point is close and vacate the situation immediately. Or next time you very well could be gong to jail.

And fix your shit. For fuck's sake your child saw that. That never goes away.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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