I think I made a mistake and now he’s pulling away

Zegiknie · 2019-11-30T20:21:49+00:00

Would help if we knew what request.

Pola_Lita · 2019-12-01T12:06:08+00:00

You and he need to talk but if he doesn't want to there's not much more you can do than what you've done. My feeling is that you're being 'punished' but really, who knows? He's not talking. It's a waste of a relationship but while I wouldn't burn any bridges here, I wouldn't invest any more in it until he does something that you don't have to struggle to understand.

macedude · 2019-12-03T16:05:18+00:00

A lot of people have already commented, but to briefly throw in my two cents as a male... I feel his decision to ignore you over something like this is pretty pathetic. I understand that he likely wants to get ahead in his career and sees an "opportunity" with this person in your circle... but clearly he views this opportunity more important than maintaining peace with you. This is also really bad in a "do we have a future together" perspective... what if he continues these behaviors whenever he disagrees with you? I promise you he is reading those texts... Talk this situation out with him completely, and after all the dust settles... if your communication with each other has not "grown" to a new level, I would be very careful in committing much further than you already have.

HistoryPelican · 2019-12-02T03:40:41+00:00

Regardless of the problems, communication is key. When someone cuts communication with you, that’s pretty much the worst thing they could do. It means they’re not being mature, or not even interested in resolving the problem.

It doesn’t matter what you did. He should be willing to give you a chance to explain and talk. He isn’t. He either isn’t very mature and is being butthurt, or he doesn’t really value the rest of your relationship.

This is a red flag. Don’t ignore it. Try to talk things out with him by being mature, but even if that works you’ll now forever have doubts about his behavior.

Eugenius666 · 2019-11-30T20:51:28+00:00

No matter how busy he is, it takes 2 seconds for him to text you. It's inexcusable of him to go on for days like that without keeping in touch. He seems to be acting like a pouting baby who didn't get his way, and now he's giving you the silent treatment. Utterly inexcusable in my opinion. Cut him loose, he's not worth your time.

RagAndBows · 2019-12-01T06:58:13+00:00

Yeah... stonewalling you is kinda abusive tbh

notyetsaved · 2019-11-30T20:31:55+00:00

What was it about the favor that made you trigger?

2019-12-03T16:32:35+00:00

It sounds to me like he's ghosting you. This shows to me that he doesn't have the ability to handle conflict or communicate his feelings effectively. In fact it sounds to me like he would rather retreat and hide than discuss an issue that bothers him. Ask yourself if you want to deal with this sort of behavior in the long term.

sunflower1920 · 2019-11-30T23:19:25+00:00

Yeah you did fuck up. Now he's pulling away, which is totally logical on his part. Its up to YOU to correct this, to speak first. Why would it be up to him to correct the relationship that YOU put a dent in? Would that make sense if the roles were reversed; how would you feel if he fucked up and then just waited for you to make things right?

You need to very explicitly tell him what you did wrong, and that you're sorry. Then ask him how it made him feel, and specifically address those feelings. Tell him you don't want him to feel bad, you love him and want to make him happy. Tell him what you will do going forward to make sure this doesnt happen.

Then, you need to realize that you wounded him and he most likely won't want to immediately resume a leadership role in the relationship, since YOU hurt him. You need to demonstrate that you care about the relationship by temporarily taking a leadership role: maybe start with something small like bringing him some coffee and showing him a video he would enjoy. After a bit he will see that you care and will go back to leading

Title	I think I made a mistake and now he’s pulling away
Author	TranslatedSky
Upvotes	12
Comments	34
Date	November 30, 2019 8:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/e42o6k/i_think_i_made_a_mistake_and_now_hes_pulling_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-think-i-made-a-mistake-and-now-hes-pulling-away.297265 https://theredarchive.com/post/297265

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