Mate Guarding: Alpha or Beta?

red-iron-man · 2019-12-15T18:49:39+00:00

There's too many situations and variables to answer.

I've been in a situation where a guy was hitting and flirting with my wife in front of me at a bar. I laughed at him and told him to get lost, she's with me. He waked away and my wife was turned on by it.

The same thing happened to a buddy of mine, but instead of telling him to get lost he sat back and allowed his wife to deal with it. That night his wife and her friend talked about what a weak bitch he was.

In the situation above, if your wife see's you as being too afraid to confront another guy at a bar, she's going to see you as being too afraid to stand up for yourself in every aspect of your life.

Autistic folk here will group the situation above as mate guarding. As a result, while they're too busy being "the prize" and "awesome" in their own head, their wife or girlfriend is thinking what a pussy he is for being too passive and unwilling to stand up for himself.

man_in_the_world · 2019-12-15T18:57:06+00:00

You ~~must~~ should consider mate guarding only when there is a public challenge to your Alpha or AMOG status... when you are being publicly disrespected or challenged by someone messing with your girl... just as you would to their messing with any other possession of yours, like your phone or your drink or your clothes. It's about guarding your status, not about guarding her.

You can choose to extend your protection to others even when your own status is not challenged by the threat to them, but it's necessary to do so only when it disrespects you.

uchihaitachi1237 · 2019-12-15T20:07:29+00:00

I mean if someone is hitting on my wife and I see she feels uncomfortable I would absolutely get physical. If I see her flirting back and shit then I'll tell her to pack her bags. It is a sign of severe disrespect in my country if a random person tries to make convo with someone's wife. If the wife responds then have some selfrespect and kick her to the curb

hack3ge · 2019-12-16T01:21:49+00:00

What in the fuck is with the autism here - if your girl isn’t mate guarding herself you have work to do faggot.

If she is mate guarding herself and the guy isn’t catching the hint that’s a different story.

If my wife wants to fuck off with some other dude who gives a fuck - I have a no return policy and far better things to do with my time than waste it mate guarding a woman like that.

eddielovett · 2019-12-15T19:12:30+00:00

Mate guarding, like almost everything else, is situational. You can’t say never mate guard because there are infinite permutations of social situations and in some of them it is appropriate.

The trick is doing it in a socially calibrated way so that your woman appreciates it and sees it as attractive.

Now you bring up a good point because if the other guy is - god forbid - higher smv than you, then you must not mate guard because it will make you look unattractive and insecure.

In this case it’s up to your woman to handle the situation and if she respects you she will do so in a way that makes you look like a boss.

Always ignore a higher smv guy and your woman as well if she engages with him. Get busy talking to other people (flirting with hotter women) and being the life of the party. Your lack of attention creates a vacuum that’s filled by him so now he looks like the chump trying to prove himself.

If you don’t trust your woman to shut down another guy who is being respectful then you need a new woman. And if the guy crosses a line be prepared to protect her.

At the end of the day you’re the master of your own life and you decide how to handle situations on a case by case basis. Do what feels right. Do what aligns with your highest values.

SBIII · 2019-12-15T19:27:21+00:00

is mate guarding alpha or beta?

Depends on who is doing the mate guarding. Alpha's mate guard like alphas, betas mate guard like betas.

Over60_FireTempered3 · 2019-12-15T21:00:42+00:00

When someone flirts with my wife, and she starts to giggle flirt and enjoy it, and there's no sign from her for me to step in, why would I want to ruin her good time.

When someone goes too far, I get rough, quickly.

jenovajunkie · 2019-12-15T19:23:32+00:00

What is your mate worth to to you, mate guard or don't is a direct representation of this.

The selected quotation you have from Athol is interesting as it simplifies our intellect to that of primates. Which is fucking stupid, we as men have much more capabilities than primates, you are talking about a human relationship here.

People vary, although I believe most men would poach, unless they have a healthy supply which they are content with. Have some confidence in yourself that you are something worth fighting for as well.

Or else what are we saying to women, that they are the only beings worth fighting for, and thus we are intellectually like primates? That we follow a system that is easily controlled and manipulated?

tap0988534 · 2019-12-16T17:41:49+00:00

I think this is a semantics issue. The way I have always understood mateguarding is chaucer style, where the old man bars his young wife from socializing because he knows she is faithless.

When I hear no mateguarding, I hear don't be controlling.

I consider this different from a direct challenge from another dude. When another dude comes to your girl in front of you, this is to make you look like a pussy. Without being controlling, it is imperative to stand down this challenger.

Caveat, some guys are cruising for a fight. They think alpha means physical intimidation. They are a trap, if you fight them you lose. You must defeat fight-happy retards with social mastery.

0io- · 2019-12-16T20:52:26+00:00

Might be worthwhile to draw a distinction between wife/gf decides to go chat with some hot guy/coworker/stranger/friend at a party: don't mate guard, you're not threatened.

vs.

You're at a bar and some drunk guy comes up and is aggressively trying to kino/pick up/hit on your wife/gf: you can win points for shutting him down and "protecting her" from creep who is bothering her or not leaving her alone and you look weak if you're afraid to get involved.

friendandadvisor · 2019-12-17T12:31:26+00:00

"Mateguarding" is when you try to defend your position with a woman. Protecting your woman or privacy from a drunken/obnoxious wannabe is not mateguarding.

Rifleshoot · 2019-12-17T17:47:01+00:00

I think it’s the difference between active confrontation with a potential threat vs maintaining a defensive posture. If you are acting defensively (searching her phone, constantly managing her to keep her away from men, etc.) then the presumption is that there is a reason for you to be scared. If you aren’t worried about any other guys, then some guy comes up and starts flirting with your wife, then that is a scenario where you are actively confronting competition and turning it away would be alpha behavior. Ignoring it in that case would be beta.

Whammywham · 2019-12-20T15:13:20+00:00

There’s a difference between whiny “Zaby you talking to him and ignoring me?” And looking a guy in the eye and telling he’s venturing into your territory and he’d be doing himself a favor by making an about face And telling your wife that she’s going support exactly how you wanted to handle it or shes free to leave with him if she had anything to say about it.

2019-12-21T20:36:39+00:00

If you are worried about mate guarding you are not appreciating her for the moment, moment to moment. if you are worried about this garbage then your hamster needs taming. once your frame and resolve is so strong that you can appreciate losing everything at a moment's notice then you will be able to enjoy life for what it truly is.

2019-12-15T21:09:05+00:00

It depends on if you are addressing the issue with the man in this situation, or your woman.

Men communicate differently than women do.

This inherently necessitates that men communicate differently with other men, than they do with women.

If you're henpecking your woman over your insecurities or even her minor indiscretions, thats far different than overtly challenging interloping males.

Anongst men, i may play nice and put on a courteous demeanor, but let's not forget that i reserve the right to thrash the everliving shit out of you should you fail to yield to my more tactful approach. Consequences be damned.

mabden · 2019-12-15T18:38:42+00:00

Never mate guard. Provide value, be attractive and amog mother fuckers until they submit like your bitch. You do this with a solid masculine frame paired with eye contact that is unflinching and emits energy and intensity. You can game women right? You do the same shit on men. You can game anyone.

I am guilty of mate guarding and wrote a pretty embarrassing example of me doing it while displaying my ego to all of you faggots and not even seeing what I was doing. It was a low point and exposed me on another level. Get this sorted or be prepared to fall apart if you find out she cheated. Your ego is not your friend and based on what you are mentally mastubating about I can tell you that you have a big ass ego.

So own your shit faggot. Tell us who you are and why you feel the need to justify mate guarding. Lastly, physical protection from danger is not mate guarding. Protect your subs from danger, 100%.

djl304 · 2019-12-15T22:59:27+00:00

Mmmb

Title	Mate Guarding: Alpha or Beta?
Author	whereyougetthisguy
Upvotes	28
Comments	86
Date	15 December 2019 06:27 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	askMRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/299448
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/eb2j6a/mate_guarding_alpha_or_beta/