Guys I've fucked up royally.
I got drunk the last two nights and started texting the neighbor girl over IG. We sent messages about dreams, sex dreams, etc. It was inappropriate but nothing absolute and too out of pocket. Just stupid.
Her husband sends the screenshots to my wife this morning while I'm on my way to run.
I woke up to a message from the neighbor girl saying that she couldn't talk to me anymore and that her husband had read it and some of it was very inappropriate.
I feel like a fuck. My wife and I finally addressed the elephant in the room. At first it was about the messages. How I've lied about the neighbor being attractive.
Then she started crying and saying it was all her fault and expected it to happen eventually because she has no sex drive.
I owned all of it, apologized for how she feels, for making the mistake etc.
I asked her what she wanted to do? "I dont know, you tell me, you're the one with the options" (we have 2 boys and one on the way)
We eventually talked it out. There's a looming depression in the air. Minimum talking.
I've probably blown it up. I've had every emotion imaginable go through me today. I'm trying to hold it together. Sucking on a gun even passed through my mind a few times. Not from losing her. I can't lose my boys.
I know I'll have to make preparations no matter what happens. So far, we have agreed to not split up. (We will see)
I guess I'm just typing this out. Someone on here has fucked up like this. I just need guidance.