How to be sexier?

BumbleBitny · 2020-10-19T02:14:35+00:00

I can't find a more tactful way to say this so I'm just gonna lay it out there. Start with a blow job. I like this method for three reasons. 1. No deep eye contact. Keep your eyes on the prize. I find personally prolonged eye contact tends to increase insecurity feelings. 2. You can't say stupid shit with a dick in your mouth. 3 initiation is easy. Just start tugging on the boxers and drop to your knees. There's no verbal communication that needs to happen to get it started.

I give you this candid advise from a fellow goof ball. I can't say anything to mess up the mood and he's normally ready to take charge after a little bit so I don't end up ruining things from being dorky.

LizardSinclair · 2020-10-18T23:15:02+00:00

My husband and I actually both struggle with not goofing off during sex. It's a different problem, since we're both involved, but I think the first step is just to stop being silly. Don't try to be sexy, yet. Just try not to be goofy.

TranslatedSky · 2020-10-19T08:31:36+00:00

Your husband’s comments will affect your performance subconsciously, especially if it has been gravitating towards critical. Both of you can have some form of non-talky communication where he practices positive reinforcement. For example, saying “that’s right baby” or a code word like “green” when he likes something you do. Stay away from talking. This sort of thing can not be fixed with talking or critique. I have been here and my ex’s critique made me lose interest in trying eventually.
Have a sexy alter ego when getting into the mood. Build a persona, make a playlist, wear what she would wear and do some rituals like taking a bath/pampering yourself/wearing eye makeup before getting started. Sexy alter ego you can be a mature worldly sophisticated woman, a kind of manifestation of you. She’s not silly at all. You probably also need a longer foreplay, maybe with texting throughout the day while he’s at work, to really psych yourself up and believe it.
Think all the comments would mention you should work to lose the weight which seems to be the root of your problem. If you work to be different from how you were with your ex so much that he would feel shamed by the person you have become, you will get rid of this insecurity. For now, if you don’t feel physically attractive on the day of sex, you can curl your hair, put on makeup, wear a flattering dress and stare in the mirror observing all your best traits. You may also feel more comfortable if you turn off the lights

HornsOfApathy · 2020-10-19T03:06:02+00:00

You are using humor as an ego barrier during sex. Its a common thing among men who find MRP. They feel rejected sometimes, or not good enough, and use humor to hide the deeply seeded feelings they don't want to confront.

You're a woman. You live on feelings. Good or bad, doesn't matter. But to deny this you deny your femininity, thus completing the cycle of not being sexy.

fastingmonkmode · 2020-10-19T03:34:11+00:00

You say you're short and fat.

Just so you know that being short is not a turn off for like 99% of men out there.

So being short is not your issue.

ngb82 · 2020-10-19T05:11:47+00:00

I recommend you balance your feminine energy. You will immediately attract the masculinity of your husband. I assure you that as a woman you will feel more powerful. On the internet you will find interesting information about it. I love Adrienne Everheart's Love Academy Youtube channel.

You deserve to feel good about yourself!!!

HappilyMrs · 2020-10-19T08:21:42+00:00

What are you doing that is supposedly silly? Is it actions, expressions, things you say?

velvethunni11 · 2020-10-20T16:08:34+00:00

Perhaps it's not that your husband doesn't appreciate humor, but when you are being goofy during sexy time perhaps he feels like you're uncomfortable with yourself and is just wanting you to feel more comfortable and confident in your body and with him. I understand you don't feel very confident and comfortable in your body, but this is something you've got to work through. If you haven't already, I would recommend seeing a therapist to process and work through your past trauma(s) and help you to, in essence, retrain how you think about yourself. I would also recommend you doing physical things that will help you to appreciate and love your body (thus help to love yourself as a whole too) more. This can include exercise (you don't need to try to run a marathon, but maybe start with some light yoga or go on walks with friends or even yourself) and any kind of beauty treatments that help you feel beautiful and relaxed. Here are some ideas: baths, face masks, using a body wash in your favorite scent (if fragrance doesn't bother you), light candles (also, if they don't bother you) or other ways to make your home smell warm and inviting, wear clothes (esp when you're at home with him) that feel soft and comfortable (but not sweatpants, as this tends to make us feel frumpy and sloppy, but maybe like satin pajamas). Again, these are just some suggestions/ideas that I'm sharing and I'm not saying these are the only things you can do to help you feel more feminine, relaxed, comfortable, and loving towards yourself, which will help him feel that way too.

20160474 · 2020-10-28T19:59:09+00:00

I recommend you start taking creatine and building your glutes. Do extremely heavy hip thrusts 1, 2 or 3X a week. It’s impossible for you to not lose body fat this way. This is the most effective way to change how you look aside from barely eating

Next, I know this isn’t very red pill, but consider reading “Ho Tactics” by G.L. Lambert. The flirting advice is kind of similar to what strippers do - and before you turn your nose up at that, just notice that these women perfect their techniques via trial and error to earn tips. They don’t play it cute. They don’t laugh awkwardly. They are able to make direct eye contact and even approach a man first very confidently. They are able to talk dirty without flinching. You should come up with some type of alter ego to help you channel that confidence. Don’t wait until you lose weight to do this either. You need to be at a point where you’re so comfortable with yourself that you can act this way no matter what your weight is. Until you can achieve that level of confidence, you won’t be as sexy as you can be. You need to drop all the fear and become charismatic. Maybe even consider taking a pole dancing or belly dancing class. Also, if your husband is watching porn then his appetites will become so out of control that no one woman would be able to satisfy him anyway, so maybe this should be brought up?

Peculiarpetulia198 · 2020-10-19T01:38:19+00:00

Honestly, being silly is actually super sexy to my man! But it sounds like you and your husband have open communication and that he doesn’t judge your silliness! I don’t think you should change something that can add such a nice quality to who you are. Perhaps wear a little sexier outfit/lingerie, or make a little sexy joke instead of a silly one if that makes sense... I think there’s definitely ways to be playful and sexy...

ManhattanT5 · 2020-10-19T01:35:08+00:00

Short? That's not an issue. If you're fat you should try intermittent fasting (just don't immediately jump in to a very restrictive window).

Why are you silly? Is it insecurity, or just who you are?

JulianUNE · 2020-10-19T13:13:36+00:00

If you are into it, a light spanking might help. A bit of discomfort will cure your giggles.

Eosei · 2020-10-28T20:29:05+00:00

Hey, if putting on sexy lingerie and heels and such feels awkward to you, surely that is not the only way to be sexual. Maybe think of sensual instead. Lights low, flickering candles and massage oil and long strokes. Breathing and staying focused on sensations and not forcing anything or planning ahead. You want to be feeling like you are in your body, in your own skin, instead of putting on a character and escaping even further into your head through humour (I mean, sure, role playing works for some but maybe it's not the best thing for now). Your problem seems to be with being vulnerable and receptive. So you have to think soft, think smooth, think sensual, if sexy feels distant. You can begin to practice being present in your own body with some physical things, alone, but it doesn't necessarily need to be exercises per se, it can be anything that makes you feel like your body is a part of you. Belongs to you. Baths, hot water, cold water, dry brushing, stretching, dancing, walking bare feet, massages. Being quiet. If you're being quiet, you're alredy closer to being authentic and vulnerable.

Ariel125 · 2020-10-18T23:21:35+00:00

You could try to be a little demanding, like maybe dry or “harsh“. Like keep a straight face and be like, “don’t do that” or “move me here.” It’ll catch him off guard, will probably seem hot and break the silliness.

Title	How to be sexier?
Author	anothergoodbook
Upvotes	25
Comments	37
Date	October 18, 2020 11:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/jdqb8u/how_to_be_sexier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/how-to-be-sexier.319161 https://theredarchive.com/post/319161