Red Pill backfired?

sammy_neutron · 2020-10-25T08:29:07+00:00

I felt like that when I discovered the rpw of things . I thought in order to be all of this I had to be fake. I don't feel like that anymore . No one is asking you to be perfect. You shouldn't feel as if you are losing yourself, you should feel like you are improving on yourself.

Take every piece of advice including on this sub with a grain of salt. Take a seat back and really analyze the situation and apply what seems like the best solution for you and your husband. No one here knows your situation better than you. Being submissive is not about being a doormat but letting him take the lead. Being primarily feminine means a lot of things both physically and mentally.

It is very easy to feel overhelmed or some mental back and forth internal dialogue once you discover rpw. You might have the urge to fill in the "perfect rpw feminine wife role ". A lot of what of rpw focusses on is improving yourself as well as avoiding certain mistakes in the dating world and relationships . Focus on taking care of yourself and your marriage. Think of ways you can improve yourself and set goals. In this process you should not feel as if you are not losing yourself but becoming the best version of it. Don't be too hard on yourself, you are only human .

naisimar · 2020-10-25T14:16:36+00:00

Hey angel, I believe that being a ‘rp woman’ is definitely a choice. If it’s not within u, don’t feel the pressure to fulfil that. It’s inauthentic. You can still be feminine whilst putting yourself first. Even if you do follow red pill values, I think it’s important to differentiate viewing your husband as the centre of your life in comparison to a dominant addition to it. If the dresses made u feel good, that’s all that matters, not whether he loved them. You’re doing great lovely, I think u need to navigate how to come to a sense of balance as well as understanding that all these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

bananab33 · 2020-10-25T15:49:31+00:00

I really feel this! I tend to feel like I'm roleplaying the perfect wife as well, then every now and then I snap out of it and live for myself for a while. Then the house is a mess and I don't really like what I see around me, so I go back to trying harder. I wish I could find a balance, but I'm guessing it'll continue to be up and down for me until my kids are older and I have more time for myself. I don't really have any advice, just that I think a lot of women, RP or not, struggle with this issue.

anothergoodbook · 2020-10-25T11:48:36+00:00

First things first - that’s why self care is pushed so much here. Yes you need down time to relax. You can’t give to anyone else unless you are full. Self care runs the spectrum of taking whatever supplements/medication you need to, eating healthy & working out to taking a bubble bath and putting on smelly lotions.

Secondly, if you read the Empowered Wife (which used to be the go-to around here) she takes about saying “no” when you know something your husband asks will make you resentful. If you feel like you are over extending yourself you can say, “I can’t” very sweetly and leave it at that. Obviously you can’t do that with absolutely everything in your life.

RPW got into my head where I started questioning everything about myself and everything I did. So I do understand. There are things my husband doesn’t care about whereas someone else’s husband does. So in the end it is all about what helps your husband feel respected and loved and what works for both of you. Also trying to jump in and make massive changes isn’t a good thing to do with anything. Focus on one thing you’d like to do differently.

Ask your husband what he’d like to see you in. What styles does he find flattering on you? If you sprung the dresses on him in a super excited way he may have just reacted without thinking about it (my husband needs some time especially if he’s wrapped up in something else). I’ll go back to tell him I was hurt by his reaction and he won’t even have a clue what I mean and he’ll feel bad when I explain it. So I’ve learned to gradually do things and not bring attention to them in that way (like just go on a date wearing the new dress and see if he notices).

KayyeXx · 2020-10-25T20:49:21+00:00

Tbh I purposely lurk on red pill so I know exactly what kinds of men to avoid should I become single again. That’s not likely for me rn as I love my man, but you know... My bf would get so turned off if he thought everything I did was to impress him and be a good girlfriend. There are many guys who love when a woman is true to herself. So keep the clothes, and though he may not like them at first, wear them with confidence and he may just love you in them! :)

cornycatlady · 2020-10-25T15:55:01+00:00

I feel like you’re a people pleaser, and I don’t think that’s what RPW is. Being a people pleaser makes you lose your sense of identity.

I don’t think you have to actively prove to your husband that YOURE THE BEST at all times. I think RPW is about being mindful and being your best you.

nocreativity729 · 2020-10-27T14:47:04+00:00

Being feminine does not equate to being a doormat. Wear the dresses if you like them. That’s still feminine. Spend time with your girlfriends sometimes... last time I checked, that’s a very feminine thing to do. Next time you do something, ask yourself if you’re being a doormat, or a feminine wife. They are not the same thing.

RareRedDietitian · 2020-10-25T20:39:47+00:00

RP is not just for married women

Title	Red Pill backfired?
Author	secret_4ever13
Upvotes	14
Comments	12
Date	October 25, 2020 7:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/jhplxf/red_pill_backfired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/red-pill-backfired.321029 https://theredarchive.com/post/321029

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