Stunning Revelation! Sex and the City fairy-tale ending looking bleak for group of NYC Spinsters

moroots · 2019-05-24T18:45:32+00:00

Fade-in: a group of late thirties spinsters, who one day imagined themselves as the living, breathing embodiment of Sex in the City, gather to commiserate and one-up each other’s victimhood

ANALYSIS

My girlfriends and I sit around our favorite Brooklyn restaurant, red wine flowing, lights dim. We’re all in our late thirties, have jobs we love, friendships we cherish, *passions that keep us up at night*. And we are all single.

Note the “passions that keep us up at night.” More on that later

It’s not news that New York is a terrible dating scene for straight women

“Using Census data, we analyzed only the population who are never married singles between the ages of 20 and 34. In this subgroup, men outnumber women—742,400 to 729,500.” Statistics: yet another tool of muh patriarky

Source: https://www.nycedc.com/blog-entry/ratio-single-men-single-women-nyc

(Note that the areas with the highest male/female ratio are parts of southwestern Brooklyn, Staten Island, and the eastern neighborhoods of Queens. In other words, parts of NYC that are likely highly populated with icky immigrants, with weird skin colors, who bear absolutely no resemblance to the King of Manhattan, Mr. Big)

My girlfriends and I have been enduring bad dates for years

Run WhatIsTheCommonDenominator.exe

Pregnancy is so ingrained in our image of the female experience we rarely think to question it

While you got this part right, you maybe, just maybe, shoulda questioned a few more elements of your ‘female experience’: dedicating your life to your career, riding the carousel and eating, drinking and watching Netflix instead of hitting the gym, or developing skills that actually might entice a marriage-minded man

But now the time has come, it seems

Translation: I let TV and the media dictate to me what my life plan should be, rather than to actually exercise my own agency to chart my own course

When I’m not looking for love I’m exhausted on my couch after work, binging on Netflix, curled up in bed reading a book, or still at work. When I’m at work I’m working

Remember how we talked about passions that keep us up at night? Reading is great, but where is the evidence of any other effort put into constructive hobbies, like exercise, learning to cook, networking, volunteering, etc. etc.? Maybe if you were more of a selfess, well-rounded person, you might not be single. Men like kind, big-hearted women

I am not particularly attractive when I’m working. Actually, at this point in my career, I make an active effort not to look attractive, lest some creep makes an inappropriate move and I have to spend my mental energy dealing with it

Hoo-boy, this is the mother of all rationalizations. Unattractive woman claims she is unattractive on purpose, rather than confront her own unattractiveness. If the power of her hamster could be harnessed as a usable energy source, OPEC would be in deep, deep trouble

When I go out I’m with friends who have grown to be like family, talking over cozy dinners, not falling over casual acquaintances ready to pick each other up at the first sign of a smile, like the parties I frequented in my twenties

Another rationalization. I’m purposely not looking for romantic connection, that’s why I’m not finding it, rather than I’m past my prime and only boner-inducing to creepy, weird-colored men who live in neighborhoods like Fort Hamilton or Flushing

The problem with anything that takes effort, though, is that it gets tiring.

Awww, poor cupcake. The horror, that you might have to try, fail, try again, fail again, etc. etc. If you had an empathetic bone in your body, you might realize this is the dating experience of most men (except for your Mr. Big, who will be here any day now to sweep you off your feet)

Recently exhausted, I took a break from online dating. Accepting the occasional romance but rarely seeking it

Translation: still getting pumped and dumped

When you’re happy by yourself being alone isn’t lonely, it’s a relief

Yet another sad rationalization. You weren’t wired to be happy by yourself, you’re a woman. Your relief as it were comes from the tiny bit of hope you still have left that you’re not a total goner, but once you hit the big four-oh, you might have to confront reality. Or more likely succumb to your bitterness and seek refuge in your new mantra “Where Are All The Good Men?”

If it weren’t for the kids thing, I wouldn’t really care, is a refrain my friends and I repeat in circles

“You can’t fire me, I quit...oh wait, I kinda need you for one last thing”

I am dating right now because I’m on a timeline. If I want to have children, I have to. The sentiment that makes the modern, urban man run. The opposite of “chill.”

Damn their male intuition! Don’t they know they’re fucking up my agenda?

I cringe at myself. It’s disgustingly unromantic. I’m the woman I made fun of in my twenties, early thirties, even
But unless you can afford IVF or raising a child alone, both of which are prohibitively expensive for most women, the pressure to search for a partner is real

And so the seeds of “accidentally” forget to take your birth control are sown

I often imagine if men were in this position, faced with losing their ability to procreate. There’s no question they’d have both an agenda and a timeline. And we’d probably praise them for their ambition

Ah, well, as you enjoyed the spoils of feminism-created privilege; who are you to deny men the spoils of biology-created advantage?

[Sob story about *finally* meeting a guy, but alas he is soon to move across country]
My twenty-something self would be saddened but not deterred by this glitch. I would have thought it was romantic to try despite the odds.

Feelz before realz. You had no life plan and so you squandered the advantages bestowed upon you by virtue of your youth.

Another bottle of wine

Substitute box for bottle and you have a glimpse into your future. Probably gonna have to start counting pennies soon dear, as I can’t imagine a writer living in NYC has much in the way of retirement savings

To find that person and also have all the practicalities of starting a life together — their age, location, desire for children — match up just right so it can all come together in a few short years, is miracle-making

This is the bed you made. You wouldn’t need a miracle had you actually had a vision and goals in mind when your value was at its highest. But ya didn’t. And now you find yourself down by 8, on your own 1-yard line, with one timeout and about 50 seconds left on the clock. Oh, and you’ve never run a two-minute offense before

The question floats around the table: At what point do we sacrifice romance for fertility?

Years ago. Like, at the very least, as soon as you turned 30

I could have it all wrong, I am still single, after all. Maybe romance is overrated. Maybe real connection comes later, with the shared experience of building a life together

Teetering at the edge of an epiphany: maybe my standards are too high? Could it be that Sex and the City and my you go gurl coffee klatch had it all wrong?

Or maybe I should keep following my mostly misguided and foolishly optimistic heart, fingers tightly crossed, that all the details will work themselves out

Facepalm. One final hail mary clangs incomplete on the fifty yard line. Final score: Sex and the City producers: millions, if not billions, of revenue. Feminist NYC Writer: zero children

variedpageants · 2019-05-24T19:53:50+00:00

[if men had a biological clock then they would] have both an agenda and a timeline. And we’d probably praise them for their ambition

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT

Whenever men systematize dating - meaning, whenever men sit down and discuss how best to achieve our dating goals - we are called predatory and manipulative.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-05-24T19:09:45+00:00

"Another bottle of wine."

The cause and solution to all their problems. There's truly nothing sexier than an aging functional alcoholic who brings less than nothing to a relationship.

Stay single fellas.

variedpageants · 2019-05-24T20:46:18+00:00

There's so much gold in this article. Bravo to /u/mrroots for finding it.

Maybe romance is overrated. Maybe real connection comes later, with the shared experience of building a life together

This is true, but she can't take the next step of realizing that the primary cause of her unhappiness is that she has never, in her entire life, allowed any room for a man to build a life with her. We see this in the majority of posts to this subreddit - even the women who aren't "career women" like her, they all share this one attribute: they've already lived their life

These women who get posted here, they look around them and they see men who are married to 40 year old women and they all think, "oh okay, so when I'm 40 I can get married too." No. You really can't. If you want to be married at 40 you have to purchase that relationship with the value of your 20s. You were supposed to exchange your youth for a long-term, stable, comfortable relationship in your middle years.

But instead, you wasted your youth and you have no deeper insight into the cause of your predicament than "where are all the good men." Imagine some alternate universe where women like you realize your mistake and instead of writing articles about how unfair the world is, you write articles trying to help women who still have a chance at happiness. Imagine an article like, "young women: stop partying, find a decent man, and lock that shit down!"

spaghetti_hitchens · 2019-05-24T19:21:13+00:00

She had at least one guy in her early 20's who would have faithfully given her a family and supported her in many endeavors, but because she didn't think he was up to her level or above, she shot him down. Now her eggs are withering away and genetically eroding, and she doesn't know how to handle it.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-05-24T20:26:35+00:00

It's a zombie.

For the kind of guy she's seeking, she's already dead. She just doesn't know it yet. Guys who are in their early 40's (I'm assuming this is her target demographic because she's exactly like every other woman ever) are interested in younger women. Guys who are successful, good looking and interesting can get all the younger women they want.

And these women consider any man who isn't all three of these things to be "undateable".

ClockworkOrange92618 · 2019-05-24T20:41:21+00:00

Author: Emily J. Smith, born 1982 (age 36-37).

Tech by day, writer by night, feminist always. At work on a novel + essay collection + startup. More at emjsmith.com

Mar 18th: #MeToo and the Myth of Millennial Fragility

That's 3 strikes, GTFO woman. The world is better off without you having kids anyway..

WearDoWeGoNow · 2019-05-24T20:23:09+00:00

"The problem with anything that takes effort, though, is that it gets tiring."

Oh, the poor dears. They are so put-upon and oppressed. It's so unfair, men have it so easy in life, pretty much everything a man wants just appears magically and is handed to him without the need for all that exhausting "effort." /s

FarBeyondTheDonut · 2019-05-24T20:51:09+00:00

My girlfriends and I sit around our favorite Brooklyn restaurant, red wine flowing, lights dim. We’re all in our late thirties, have jobs we love, friendships we cherish, passions that keep us up at night. And we are all single.

L.O.L.

I could have stopped at any point, but let's read on because someone bothered to post it.

And she looks like a grandma, yikes.

anyoneinamerica · 2019-05-24T21:26:56+00:00

It was great. I deepened friendships, entertained a few flings, finished my novel. When you're happy by yourself being alone isn't lonely, it's a relief.

If it weren't for the kids thing,I wouldn't really care...

She, her friends, and (by default assumption) most women do not want a man around. They are perfectly happy to do their thing and hop on and off the cock carousel as they feel the urge. When you have sex available on speed dial, then companionship and relationships with someone of the opposite sex are just a time and money wasting redundancy. Ironically, when men take that attitude, we are vilified and ridiculed for not growing up, being immature, and not being 'Real Men'. The hypocrisy runs amok in their hamster cages.

But unless you can afford IVF or raising a child alone, both of which are prohibitively expensive for most women, the pressure to search for a partner is real.

Straight from the horse's mouth...Women want and need a man to provide money for their and their offspring's survival. They don't care if you are the biological father or not. They also have them to pay for their frivolous wants. Is anyone shocked or surprised??? Anyone...Anyone...Bueller...Bueller...Anyone????

1Badshot · 2019-05-24T23:12:28+00:00

She will never marry.

She is incapable of compromise, and will stick to her unrealistic standards of what a minimally acceptable man she will settle for until her ovaries dry up into raisins and her ova are dust.

She will blame men for her spinsterhood and pack of cats.

theorymeltfool · 2019-05-24T23:47:48+00:00

They had a shared spreadsheet of all the guys they fucked 🤣🤣

keithrockz · 2019-05-24T21:17:00+00:00

This is the "life"that they all wanted...the one they marched for,as they pointed their fingers at men accusing us of oppressing them.... Then they wanted to change all the laws regarding children...once again screaming oppression.
Well now youve got you're way ,sweetheart. ...being in a relationship,much less marriage is a losing proposition for men...who wants to be married to some aging yenta that works more than I do?.. Then when it doesn't work out(surprise)because of that marriage certificate,as a man you've given the court system a card blanche to ruin your life completely by giving this woman almost everything you own...because men ALWAYS lose in the divorce and child custody game.....(sounds like a great deal... )You've got your career now honey.. ...congratulations!.....you go girl !!!..far away..

Overkillengine · 2019-05-25T03:35:52+00:00

Looks like she is late 40's to 50's.
Feminist

Those initial red flags right there alone are a death knell for her chances with 99% of the men that she'd even bother to see as human much less see as any sort of sexual beings. Successful men aren't going to be enthusiastic to invest in an ingrate that is nigh guaranteed to betray that investment at the first chance to begin with, and that's before considering the shit ROI she represents by default.

But then she caps it off by being an insufferable cookie cutter NPC blogger high off the farts she sniffs in her echo chamber, and whines that Alpha Bucks has not swooped in and rescued her from her tedious and overly self medicated lifestyle to grant M'Lady a life of indolently unearned luxury in her dotage.

As is the norm for this type of NPC, this entire article is just a pity party she is throwing for sympathy and validation. She is not looking to take agency for her decades of poor choices nor actionable solutions.

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-05-25T04:15:23+00:00

LMAOO

This article is absolutely pure schadenfreude cringe porn. Perfection. Oh man, my eyes were rolling in the pure intoxicating bliss that comes with being immersed in such an eloquent farce such as this.

Recently exhausted, I took a break from online dating. Accepting the occasional romance but rarely seeking it. It was great. I deepened friendships, entertained a few flings, finished my novel.

This whole article was full of such jems. Brings a tear to my eye! Masterpiece.

On another note, fuck these people and their romanticism.

SenselessNoise · 2019-05-25T05:52:53+00:00

When I’m not looking for love I’m exhausted on my couch after work, binging on Netflix, curled up in bed reading a book, or still at work.

"I spend my free time sitting on my ass binging Netflix and eating ice cream or reading. Why can't I find someone?!"

When I’m at work I’m working. I am not particularly attractive when I’m working. Actually, at this point in my career, I make an active effort not to look attractive, lest some creep makes an inappropriate move and I have to spend my mental energy dealing with it.

"When I'm in the one situation a day where I socialize with people, I filter everyone out because they're all creeps. But why can't I find someone?!"

When I go out I’m with friends who have grown to be like family, talking over cozy dinners, not falling over casual acquaintances ready to pick each other up at the first sign of a smile, like the parties I frequented in my twenties.

"I go out with my alcoholic friends to quiet dinners where we are functionally alone, rather than trying to meet new people. Why can't I find someone?!"

Is this woman mentally disabled or just lacking self-reflection?

coiluniverse · 2019-05-25T08:50:52+00:00

Women were told that they can be like men. They have careers and wait as long as they want and Tarzan will come swinging from the vine ready to sweep her off her feet whenever she was ready.

But this was all a lie told by feminism.

The problem with women once they hit 30 and they are not married it becomes very difficult for them to settle down for marriage. A woman in her 30s is very stubborn and set in her ways and no man will ever make her happy. The other problem is that the men that they want the top 20% in their age category are not interested in an angry, bitter 35 year old feminist like this woman.

The 35 year old successful man is going to settle for a 25 year old woman. I guess it hurts to be rejected huh? Miss dynamic, intellectual feminist.

AndAnotherThang · 2019-05-25T23:06:59+00:00

A man replied to her and offered practical advice mixed with (undeserved) flattery. Her response to him was what you would expect.

https://imgur.com/dJXJ9Fq

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-05-24T22:55:57+00:00

Chad grunts to her "Writer bitch, you talk too much. Just shut up and suck!"

Edited to add: Nevermind. Even Chad wouldn't want any from her. Just went over there and looked up her pic. She a dinosaur!

I-am-the-lul · 2019-05-25T05:37:27+00:00

If women could stay young and as fertile as a 20yo until they're 70, they would ride the CC until then.

[deleted] · 2019-05-24T20:43:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NetherIndy · 2019-05-25T02:06:01+00:00

Actually, at this point in my career, I make an active effort not to look attractive, lest some creep makes an inappropriate move and I have to spend my mental energy dealing with it. When I go out I’m with friends who have grown to be like family, talking over cozy dinners, not falling over casual acquaintances ready to pick each other up at the first sign of a smile, like the parties I frequented in my twenties.

I'm actively repelling guys. Actively! Because 5'5" brown men are still hitting on me (humble brag) and I'm tired of it. Oh, and I'm utterly unapproachable in non-work situations. Only thing I do is online dating. And I've recently forsworn that (see her other post). Why aren't there any men for me?

Captain_Warzone · 2019-05-25T03:55:42+00:00

Ladies be warned this is what happens when you exists in an echo chamber and continually support and reinforce your contrived false media narrative that you are faultless queens who can do whatever they wish and its only men who somehow need to adjust to suit your requirements.

Sex and the city girls are absolute relationship repellents.

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-05-25T04:38:34+00:00

Cool wine aunts.

kyledontcare · 2019-05-25T04:43:09+00:00

Oh heaven forbid she should put work into herself! The world is ending!

This shows you how entitled modern women are: Everything is given to them on a silver platter and they rarely need to exert themselves. And even then they can't keep a man and manage to procreate. This lady and her friends must all be the filthiest sperm toilets. The boat for marriage, family, and kids left long ago and they're just nòw realizing it.

CoMaBlaCK · 2019-05-24T22:50:49+00:00

You’d think at any point in the process of writing this piece about herself some self reflection would happen.

TomahawkSuppository · 2019-05-25T01:10:21+00:00

The problem the female gender has is this, looks as an asset is depreciating. There is nowhere for it to go but down. Even the most accomplished plastic surgeon cannot make you look like you did I. Your 20s when you are in your 30s and beyond. So for them the problem is that they have less than 10 years of hotness to snag a guy.

For guys on the other hand they start out low on the totem pole but the years to earn and gather resources is 30+ years. And yours earnings potential is near infinite.

ManReggie · 2019-05-25T08:08:04+00:00

Didn't read all that shit. Went straight for her pic and ...... ouch!

Looks like a kind old grandma already.

p3ngwin · 2019-05-25T09:47:44+00:00

Medium member since Aug 2018

Tech by day, writer by night, feminist always.

I'm shocked, shocked i tell you !

Sankdamoney · 2019-05-25T06:02:50+00:00

I’m a 45 year old woman who bought into the the whole Sex and the City, independent woman, “I don’t need no man!” bullshit. Now, I regret that attitude. Been lurking on this sub and sadly agree with what you guys promote.

rationalthought314 · 2019-05-25T08:29:31+00:00

And men collectively enjoy a tall glass of "I told you so!"

anti-hypergamist · 2019-05-25T14:12:47+00:00

Ah, yes SATC. These post-wall thots do not get to marry the handsome alpha millionaire like uggo Carrie does. That seems to be the cause of their discontent, the "years of bad dates".

[deleted] · 2019-05-26T04:37:03+00:00

As soon as the big “Four Oh” hits and the 30s are gone it’s suicide time for them

TheImpossible1 · 2019-05-25T18:36:45+00:00

Sweet female tears.

oh_no_aliens · 2019-05-28T23:08:51+00:00

It's always a stupid feminist that ends up bitter and lonely, surprise, surprise.

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-05-28T17:13:36+00:00

this article warms my cold, dead, heart. All's well that ends well.

amazing how many young single mothers have thotspawn, but not these post-wall spinsters, I'm sure they can find a guy willing to make a no-strings deposit. ;)

this coven ensures they'll all fail together as one. ha ha. good

Title	Stunning Revelation! Sex and the City fairy-tale ending looking bleak for group of NYC Spinsters
Author	moroots
Upvotes	158
Comments	107
Date	May 24, 2019 6:42 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/bskkmd/stunning_revelation_sex_and_the_city_fairytale/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/stunning-revelation-sex-and-the-city-fairy-tale.345626 https://theredarchive.com/post/345626

Comments

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT

BULL-FUCKING-SHIT