Success with Women Cliff Notes For Quick Reference

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April 24, 2017
They say redpill is men comparing notes. Here are some of mine.
In Youth
-find quality male role models.
-compete in sports.
-gather a lot of ‘safe’ failures.
-just ask her, It’s a win win.
-Go for No: I will fail with 30 women this summer.
-get first time sex out of the way early and ugly if necessary.
-Main focus is: school/skills/social development/not making major mistakes.
In Adulthood
Before meeting them
-build social groups
-build respect from peers
-build close male friendships
-physical strength and health building as a lifelong habit is the easiest SMV booster.
-build financial stability, IQ, Good Habits
-long term financial success > hookups, parties.
-build skills
-study the culture of the dating scene in your area
-build good logistics
-find part time jobs with female exposure
Meeting them
-confidence/pride in anything is better than none at all.
-amused mastery
-small talk and comedy is king
-use her name.
-speak with them like you speak with models every day
-indirectly demonstrate social ability
-indirectly demonstrate strength
-be clean, smell nice, dress nice. Own your look.
-walk away and return randomly
-escalate even if they don't show interest
-Avoid online dating or use it as a supplement.
-Tempt them with fun, novelty, and emotional stimulation
-follow their actions
-It's a numbers game, however, the lower your value the more time you need to spend on approach.
Failing with them
-Your image they had of you failed, not you.
-Many, many women want what you are back on the market selling
-This too shall pass
-Don’t analyze it right away.
Plating them
-don’t lie
-beware of ‘time hoes’
-wrap it up (you’re probably a plate too!)
-Don’t get too comfortable
Dating them
-reward good behaviors
-be ready to plate them
-punish bad behavior with dread levels
-keep sex high quality and consistent
-always keep socializing, keep friendships up
-very strategically keep girls in the wings
-keep a safe pile of ‘escape’ money on hand
-No gifts or elaborate dates
-occasionally hold back on spending money on them
-Lead them very near forcefully if needed, especially if they are going to make a major mistake. She should thank you later. Plate her if she doesn’t.
-Do what you like to do. She’s along for the ride.
Working with them
-Assume women talking to you are pumping you for info; be vague.
-Tease that you have inside information.
-Use playful amused mastery but keep it light.
-You are at all times playing by fucked up female rules.
-Political correctness is the norm.
-Impressions and reputation is everything
-Avoid political discussion
-Let the boss (male or female) be the alpha.
-Create multiple broad alliances
-Bond closely with males
-Use a work wife. Choose wisely.
-Flirting should be very very light, if at all, and equally across female staff.
Leaving them
-don't negotiate
-gather as many co-friends as possible
-control the message
-closure isn’t a thing for men.
-leave as quick as you can and go no contact.
-indirectly show success with friends, women, work right after you left them
Long Terming Them
-never for financial reasons
-Don’t use this as a chance to rest.
-Don’t fall for her making you comfortable.
-Don’t stop vetting her just do it in less noticeable ways
-trickle out beta traits.
-It’s just your turn
-Never Long Distance
-probably don’t do this, especially not before 30.
-never for financial reasons
-it’s still just your turn
-Young, Low N count, good family, father figure, non-feminists, vetted hard
-live with her for awhile
-subtly keep her away from party girls.
-you should already live in a married state of affairs before marriage, nothing should change.
-create tight bonds with her family and be political and tactful.
-Untracebly hide money in BTC or under a rock on a mountain on a regular basis
-Use dread but much more lightly then LTR
-Do not: Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize (DEER)
-lead her
-don’t always give advice when she comes with problems
-keep climbing socially and in career.
-downplay setbacks and comfort her more than usual.
-don’t stop gaming her and ‘dating’ her
-have a mission
-have social, and alone time apart.
-She doesn't love you the way you love her and that's OK.
-Even with a good lawyer it will be an ugly divorce. Keep emotion out of it till it's all over. You're on a mission to mitigate loss. Get mad after the dust is settled. Maybe now you've learned your lesson?

Post Information
Title Success with Women Cliff Notes For Quick Reference
Author JackGetsIt
Upvotes 690
Comments 99
Date 24 April 2017 03:34 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]1edwardhwhite130 points131 points  (1 child) | Copy

--assume you have all of this in you because you do.

[–]Jakei3457 points58 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don't see why so many in the comments currently hate this. These are good notes.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 50 points51 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you've spent any amount of time on redpill there are lots of 'notes' and 'quotes' posts. They don't add much to the community beyond 'reminders' and orientation for newer readers. If the community only becomes quote posts like mine it dies a sad death.

That being said I still think there's a place for them because we have lots of new members all the time (or old ones that appreciate refreshers), which is why I posted it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think this is good advice with the exception of the 'working with them' bullets.

There's only one thing you should know about working with women. MER - Minimal Effective Response. Don't say any more than you absolutely have to. I think 'tease you have inside information' is bad advice. I hate working with women. I hate women-run offices.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with your points on 'MER' my bullet point was more directed at work environments that you're forced to work closely with women. If you can avoid women or minimize contact then yes certainly do that and rely exclusively on competent male coworkers.

[–]RetiredTimeHo15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mods? Can we give this man a point

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (15 children) | Copy

Great notes imo. Just two questions: Teenage years from 13-19? and what is a safe failure? You mean like losing a sports game but trying anyways?

[–]gabilromariz17 points18 points  (5 children) | Copy

I think this is more specific to women, so ask girls out at school and get rejected as often as necessary. It's good practice and mitigates the fear of rejection. Teenagers can date girls and do stupid things to learn their lessons, as the consequences are very small. When grown men make mistakes with women, they can be expensive and come with disastruous social consequences. Failing in this regard as a kid gives you some "jadedness" that is necessary for protecting yourself down the road

[–]_MysticFox points points [recovered] | Copy

You can fuck your reputation this way. And Law 5

[–]gabilromariz4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fucking your rep as a teenager can be hell at the time but it's inconsequential in the grand scheme of things

[–]_MysticFox points points [recovered] | Copy

In university it can make or break you with access to network, chicks, organizations, etc.

I got kicked out of an organization because some girl claimed I was harassing her this entire semester and calling her and her friends names. I haven't talked to her since September.

[–]gabilromariz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

University is a whole new world, I was picturing more the younger end of 13-19 but I agree, college kids need to tread very carefully

[–]cnzs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a very large world with lots of people.

[–]RedditDogX5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Be social, be social, be social. Talk to and be friendly to everyone (don't get isolated in a clique). Try a lot of extra-curricular activities, sports, etc. Don't get serious with one girl.. date around.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy


This is basically what I was implying. Lot's of teens get focused on what people think about them and never get out and try new things. Social media makes people very afraid to make mistakes because they think everyone is watching. People are watching but they really don't care or don't care for very long.

Take lots of different part time jobs, build or work for a small business. Experience the word as best you can in a 'safe' risk way. Unsafe risks in high school would be: dropping out. Drug usage. Vanadlism. Criminal enterprise. Speeding. Drinking and driving. Jumping off a building into a pool.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Light drug use and experimentation are not bad. Just don't do like meth, herion or coke. Smoking weed or doing mushrooms can change your outlook on life, and make you less stressed out and depressed

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If that's your takeaway, you missed the point. You shouldn't tell anyone to intentionally do drugs. Let them figure it out.

[–]BassNet0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I want to jump off a building into a pool, sounds fun

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard drugs, drinking and driving, steroids, selling drugs, blowing your load inside her, picking drunk fights with grown men etc.

Edit: haha sorry this is the "don't do it" list.

[–]Thinkingard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I interpreted it as asking out girls that are realistically your smv or lower and build your skills instead of going straight for your massive crush and failing so hard you stop altogether.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Feel like the feminist one is the single biggest. Not catching that before it gets serious is probably the most damaging mistake you can make apart from the stuff thats just plain stupid and obvious.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Feminized and BP conditioning is one thing; we're all effected by it, but ego investing in a feminist social mindset is fucking cancer for your life.

[–]lumberjackinla15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most important: Dont fucking get married. Period !

[–]abbafishhead-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, if you can pull it off, never do monogamous LTRs too.

[–]Evilence4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can someone elaborate the work wife bit?

[–]tylertgbh17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

In white collar work environments you'll generally become friendly with a female colleague (equal in the company hierarchy) who's around the same age. She may be in the same department, or one nearby so you tend to see each other often but you probably don't work together 24/7. She's someone you naturally get along with and who you're friendlier with than others in the office. This would be a "work wife". Essentially, it's a girl you're friends with in the office. You are not meeting up with/seeing her outside of work unless it's within a larger group of work-mates.

Edit: incase it's not obvious, the work wife relationship should not (isnt supposed to be) sexual or romantic. Just someone you're friends with at work. But of course, depending on the person and workplace culture there could be sexual undertones and these sorts of relationships are no doubt how workplace hookups and relationships develop.

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I also did not understand this.

[–]byom-fakemail-de0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

e.g. Dana Scully to Mulder.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

Please, can you explain this more?

-Do not: Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize (DEAR)

[–]Umbrifer16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do not Defend, Explain, Excuse (apologize for) or Rationalize any of your actions to her. Whatever you did, you did because you felt like it was the best action at the time.

[–]youcantdenythat3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

That's still defending and rationalizing.

It should be more like this: Whatever you did, you did because.. fuck you that's why.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Why not to defend, why not to rationalize? At least, a few words...

Acting like we have answers is OK. Understood. But, sometimes they may wait explanation?

I'm still not convinced.

[–]youcantdenythat13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

TL/DR: It's entering her frame.

It's from the book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.

Women are communicators of emotion, not content. So while you sit there and parse out the logic of the decision you made, all she hears is "I'm not comfortable with my argument. I'm trying to explain it to you because I don't feel like I made the right decision." In other words she hears a lack of confidence in what you are saying, not the facts. So what ever feeling or emotion she has in her mind is now justified because you are DEER'ing. She thinks, "AHA! I'm right because he's dancing around words."

[–]cnzs4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tldr, you ain't have a chance in logicking her out. IE don't argue with an idiot, they'll lower you to their level and win through experience.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women will try to put you on your heels and frame situations as tho you are trying to escape from responsibility or something in a beta way. Explaining yourself subliminally communicates that you are answerable to her. That you owe her your reasons. Women love to pull the condescension card and you open yourself up to this when you DEER.

[–]Merwebb2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do i need to indirectly show success after breaking up? Why should i care that she sees me or how she sees me if i dont need closure?

You have some good points here but that shit is childish

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think of this less as, "I'll show her" and more "her and her network are watching.." Women careful monitor through friends/family how you are doing after a break up and being successful and moving on is a signal to not just her, but all of your wavering co-friendships that you are a valuable person and they would be wise to maintain contact with you. Women do a lot of damage control and spin after relationships in the hopes of winning friendships to their side and men would be wise to try to throw a towel in this arena. It can effect your future job, friendship and dating prospects.

There's a side bonus that you can use the post break up frustrations to make yourself a better person in general. It's much more valuable to be productive and positive in the wake of a break up then to be down and depressed.

It's also common for women to crawl back if you gain success and handle a breakup well. Of course you shouldn't take them back nor should you do it for this reason but it certainly will help your confidence as you move onto other relationships.

[–]Offroadskier5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why no elaborate dates? I find them enjoyable for me as well.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why not just live happily by yourself and bang the occasional hooker? Even cheaper if you're abroad.

[–]newName5434561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another quick tip:

Use "we" speech. As in say things referring to you and her in first person plural when it doesn't come out too forced. As opposed to only talking about yourself, which comes off as douchey, or only about her, which risks going in interview mode, you create a sense of unity.

[–]Thinkingard2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best post I have seen on this board. Cliffs notes is really all you need of TRP.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cliffs notes is really all you need of TRP.

No, you actually need to internalize it all

[–]RatOfTheRec0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Why no sleeping with coworkers? I work at a gym at my uni and it happens. As long as you're selective (I.E. 1-2 girls out of 30-50), no shit-storm should occur.

[–]ONDAJOB8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

You just asked "why not do this super risky thing because with careful controlled movements I can do this super risky thing in my specific circumstances"...

What do you think?

[–]RatOfTheRec-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's the risk? Girls in class and at work can be awesome lays. You keep it casual, respectful and have fun w it.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

There are a portion of jobs that you can sleep with co-workers with few repercussions; but even in those settings be prepared for her to use the job as an angle to get something out of you. Plus if you break up with her you've lost access to all her friends and all your co-workers are forced to pick sides, and it's almost always on hers. So you still have a job but closed down future sex options. Also since work is involved even the seemingly coolest girl in the world can flip the switch and use HR against you and say bullshit sexual harassment shit. Almost always not worth it.

[–]aherne180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or maybe you become an A.M.O.G., which makes your reputation skyrocket. Generally AMOGs I've seen have, apart of masculine looks, amazing social skills

[–]HS-Thompson3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Those people are really co-workers they're more like fellow students, it's not quite the same thing. Same goes for traditionally informal and transient occupations like bartending, people who work for ski resorts, stuff like that. Still probably not a good idea but those things really don't matter.

In a professional white collar office environment, or any occupation where you consider to be a career and not just a job, you should absolutely never consider it.

[–]aherne180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wherever I went, it seems sleeping with coworkers is the norm (sometimes obvious, sometimes hidden). Never underestimate how slutty they are: if only their BFs/Husbands knew:)

[–]Cicuta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be good, do good. As for women, enjoy the good parts, don't marry the bad.

[–]420GrazeitRabbit0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Can you explain "time hoes" a bit

[–]RedVladimir13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's a term Patrice is used to use. Essentially, it's the friend zone. She's using you for your time. Your whoring yourself & your time, for a girl that does not fuck you.

You cannot be friends with women you're attracted to. Period.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea basically this. Except I'm extending the metaphor a bit. I really feel that even a plate that's fucking you can try to sap your time and energy and prevent you from finding better plates or a quality LTR potential. Lots of guys slip and start dating plates which is time theft. Plates are great but you plated them for a reason remember?

[–]newls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Female whores freely give away their sex below the average market price.

Male whores freely give away their time and attention below the average market price.

It's a sexual marketplace, where the girls are offering their sex, and the boys are offering their time and attention.

[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hide money under a rock on a mountain?

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was a bit of an exaggeration but divorce lawyers are good at finding hidden assets so be ready for that.

[–]1Tommy_4070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That was an excellent post. Not feeling all the negative comments but you did a good job on writing this anyways.

[–]kazjol690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

DEER? Please, someone explain further

[–]ChadThundercockII0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Many, many women want what you are back on the market selling

I open and follow up with many women a month, close to ten each month. However, I still can't get a date, let alone sex from them.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like I said in the post. If you have lower value you might have to approach more. If you have value you may not be selling it right or you might be in a different market, which is also why I suggested looking at what type of dating market you are in.

[–]Luciditi890 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As a woman lurking red pill I think there are somethings discussed here that are actually positive. Being confident, focusing on yourself rather than being in a relationship, working towards personal success rather than focusing on the opposite sex etc.

However, I really do see an underlying tone of resentment towards women and of course I don't agree with a good chunk of what gets said here.

But to be fair. This happens on both ends. Women too focus to much on men, only to be treated shitty by assholes and then become miserable and weak. As a result many women become resentful of men. But women too need to focus on themselves and become independent and strong.

I don't think any of this is specific to women or men. I think a lot of people are shitty. Shitty women use men and want to be treated like princesses without giving anything in return and shitty men use women for sex, or act controlling and possessive, act like women owe them something. And I also think young people spend too much time wanting to be in a relationship and not enough time focusing on growing as an independent person. But resentment on both sides just leads to more people hurting each other and everyone closing themselves off rather than getting close to one another.

I've been there. I loved a man. We were together for many years. He told me I was the one, that he wanted to marry me, and we made plans to move in together. Then all of a sudden he told me he had never loved me, making it seem as if it was my fault, only to turn around and start sleeping with a close friend of his, a partner in one of his courses, that he had been spending an increasing amount time with and I trusted him because he told me that she was just a friend. I don't blame all men because he's a shitty person. (I'm a nerd, most of my closest friends are guys) But I'm with you all in the pfft I don't want to get married, I don't care about dating, I'd rather just focus on my career, my personal goals, and building myself up as a person, if I want kids I'll just adopt etc Still, I think if I found the right man I'd let my guard down and consider being in a long term relationship again. I'm not going to seek it out though, more if it happens it happens.

I just wanted to say I sympathize but I think some people here are going about it the wrong way. I just hope the people who are resentful (and I know it's not all of you) can come to a place where you are no longer angry at women and realize we are all in this same shitty boat together.

[–]JackGetsIt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Still, I think if I found the right man I'd let my guard down and consider being in a long term relationship again.

It's good you still have this in you.

I'm not going to seek it out though, more if it happens it happens.

Why not?

can come to a place where you are no longer angry at women

Anger is just one phase and many men struggle to get out of this phase or fall back into it. It's just part of the process. Redpill gets characterized primarily for it's user base that's still in and out of the anger phase.

The same impulse you have to not get hurt again men share. Men don't want to get hurt either. Men and women have different ways of screwing each other over. Do you ever post/read redpillwomen. Great group of women of there that you might enjoy.

I feel like I've seen you post somewhere else on reddit before. Not sure which sub. I hope you can find a connection again that you open up too.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice list but some of these are just based on inner anger

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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