Edit: I'm overhelmed. When I released this post this morning I expected not much. I'm overwhelmed. I'm not ashamed to accept that I wept. Such support from people I haven't met is heartwarming. There is hope. I've read each message and express my heartfelt gratitude to all of you. There may not be much going for me but I do see a reason to live. Your messages have boosted my morale. I was a dispirited, woebegone person with no motivation to live another day. I continue to be sad but there's hope that there will be a better day. I thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart.

I'm 50 years old. Older than a lot of participants on this site. I come here to seek relief. Most people at my workplace think I'm happy. The truth is I'm nothing but unhappy. Exactly 3 years ago, my wife of 24 years deserted me. With her left our son. Like most couples there were disagreements. However a step as drastic as this one was inconceivable to me.

It turns out that my close friend was the one who brought a schism in our relationship. Who do I trust? Next I'm dismissed from work. I've lost not only most of my savings settling the divorce case but also the will to live. Who or what do I live for? People advised me to visit medical professionals. I did. Their treatment was ineffective.

I'm told that I should be happy with myself before seeking the company of others. I don't give a rat's ass about such hackneyed remarks. Only those who've gone through this phase will be able to comprehend how painful it is.

Every night when I go to bed I pray for a reunion of my family. I know it's improbable. Even while I write this I've a feeling my heart is going to burst open. That sinking feeling. I'm a living corpse. I know that I'm the only one who'll have to bear this. Sometimes it feels good to write what you're feeling. It's tough when there's no one to talk to you, staring at that wall hoping to fall asleep.