Frame is the subjective interpretation of an objective reality. It is the meaning and context in which a certain interaction is being established. Whoever has the strongest frame, wins the interaction. The holy grail of frame control is amused mastery: the capacity to deliver a smile every time someone tries to do or impose something that is outside of our frame. People act a certain way, you recognize what they are doing and you find it amusing.

Here are a few notes on frame control.

1- Keep your emotions in check.

That’s the iron rule of frame control. Frame does not belong to the domain of emotions. Emotions are the cracks on your frame which other people use to get inside – do not give them away. It’s not about not feeling anything, it’s about displaying a smile no matter how you feel. Don’t raise your voice, never be angry. If you are getting emotional or taking things personally, pause and return to your default - a cold blooded warrior.

Note: That’s why oneitis is the end of your chances with a woman. Surrendering to emotions means losing frame. (From another comment I wrote on oneitis) No matter how much attention you get from girls or how many you sleep with, oneitis is a disease nature created to haunt all men from time to time. The best thing you can do is learn to live with it. Remember, it was not the girl who made you love her, it was your own mind, blinding yourself to all her flaws, projecting a future of happiness onto this human being you've put on a pedestal. Time heals everything. And every man comes back stronger after an oneitis. The best way I’ve found to prevent oneitis is to not give any headspace to a certain girl. If you start to invest too much of your thinking to one specific girl you will sink into oneitis. Simple as that.

2- If you can’t beat them, join them.

Some battles can’t be won using brute force. Setting the frame or reframing an interaction is, in certain occasions, not the best option. In these occasions, you must outframe them. Accept their frame and involve it with a bigger frame that serves your purposes. Therefore, we tell you to agree and amplify when it comes to shit tests.

I have a boyfriend.

That’s ok, I have one too. - you accept their frame and you overwrite it with a bigger one.

3- Silence is better than bullshit.

Most people will lose it at some point. Get emotional, take things personally. They will lose frame. Your job is to get your shit together during the whole interaction. Silence is your friend, one of your best tools. Awkwardness is difficult to deal with. Tension is difficult to deal with. Most people will surrender to them. If you get used to these aspects of human interactions, you will have an advantage. You can set a frame with confident eye contact. No words needed.

Shit test. Silence.

4- Fuck logic.

You don’t have to be logical and you don’t need to. When in a frame battle - with men in particular -, most guys can’t process anything outside logic, so use emotions. If they throw shit at you, play with it. Use nonsense. They don’t know how to react to that. Their frame will collapse.

5 - Develop a strong reality.

Know yourself. Don’t engage in matters that are out of your knowledge. The fundamental message of this subreddit is to become a better man. Strive to know things, develop your opinions and your worldview. In a social context, frame pours out. People will orbit you, if they sense your frame is strong. Be sure of yourself, be sure of your position in this world. Don’t surrender to any attack, but learn from them. As Bruce Lee puts it - be like water, my friend.