TL;DR: Put more thought and analysis into your posts, structure them reasonably, and give your theory as to why the event happened.

Also, older consenting ADULTS should not be shamed for dating younger consenting ADULTS. Society and women are convincing men that they are not attracted to women outside an "acceptable" age range.


Body:

Recently there was a submission regarding an article about 43-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio's new 20-year-old girlfriend which seemed to resonate with people here. It was similar to a previous submission about 60-year-old Mel Gibson and his new 25-year-old girlfriend.

The submission started off well with examples of highly popular comments on the article which shamed Leo and called him creepy, and unpopular comments which pointed out the reality of male attraction towards younger women, and then pointed out how ridiculous it was. Unfortunately it ended with, "What do you think?" rather than giving further analysis and discussing why this was happening.

TRP used to enforce a standard format where you'd break your post into three clearly-labeled sections: short summary/tldr, body, and lessons learned. In this case, we needed more in the "body" and "lessons learned" sections. (Note to mods: maybe it's time to bring back the old standards.)

A reasonable next step would have been to discuss how the top-voted comments are examples of social shaming of older men who are attracted to and date younger women (which describes most older men) and maybe relate it to studies, articles, or examples from your life and the lives of people you personally know.

Example:

This sort of social shaming is so prevalent that men internalize this shit and convince themselves that it's gross to be attracted to a woman when she is in her prime.

Here are some examples from Reddit:

[From a 40-year-old who had a ONS with an 18-year-old] I'm not sure how to feel about this. On one hand, she's sexy and I liked having sex with her. On the other hand, she's 22 years younger and I feel kind of creepy.

35 year old here...I personally would be grossed out sleeping with a woman under 25 if I'm being honest. I firmly believe in the half your age plus 7 rule. The fact that I'd have about nothing in common with an 18 year old would be enough to turn me off.

I’m 47 and I find women under 25 to be practically a different species. We don’t talk the same language, see the world the same way, like the same things, there’s just no connection. I’m much more attracted to women in their mid-30s or older. They’re easier to talk to, flirt with, laugh with.

You can see the common themes here. "I feel creepy/gross." "We'd have nothing in common/no connection." "Older women are easier to relate to." Where do these thoughts come from? These guys are simply regurgitating what they've been told/programmed by other women and by society: "You should date women your own age because (insert made-up reasons here)." They've convinced themselves that they're not attracted to young and beautiful women just because they are outside an "appropriate" age range. What these men don't realize is that women/society is giving them advice out of self-interest and certainly not considering the men's best interests.

My personal experience: I've dated adult university-aged girls when I was old enough to be shamed for doing it. I found, to my surprise, that yes, we were the same species, spoke the same language, and could communicate with no problems and plenty of connection. We had plenty in common including: food, TV shows, books, movies, music, cars/motorcycles, sports, current events, travel, hobbies, dreams, gadgets, and, most importantly, romance and sex. They seemed happy and so was I. The only time I felt creepy is when older women would glare at us, and the feeling would quickly pass.

I also found the younger women easier to relate to since I'm a frugal person due to my upbringing and the younger girls often haven't had a chance to experience lifestyle creep. Most younger women are still happy with the simple pleasures in life and get excited by small luxuries/gifts and simple travel. Older women tend to have a "been there, done that" sort of attitude.


Lessons learned:

  • Older men are so shamed and brainwashed by society that they will argue themselves out of seeking out women whom they consider the most attractive
  • Older people have plenty of things in common with younger people and often do "speak the same language"
  • Younger people often find more excitement from the simple pleasures of life which meshes well with older people who embrace simplicity and frugality
  • Women and society shame men out of self-interest and not to help men
  • Don't just post an article and talk about what it says and then ask, "Thoughts?". Relate the article to your theories and give some take-away lessons.

Postscript: great reply from another subreddit:

There are many hypocrites on this forum. Like that 18 year old girl a few days ago said she wanted to have sex with a 31 year old guy and everyone was telling her that he was just using her and was being a "predator" that can't get a girl his own age. And yet when an 18 year old guy says he wants to have sex with a woman that's like 40 or something everybody on here tells him to go for it and that he will have the time of his life and that she is mature, experienced and can teach him a thing or two.

Shit's hilarious