Tomorrow means never
One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that we will do something “tomorrow”, or that we will do it “later”.
The worst case of them all is when we say “someday”, which pretty much translates to “fucking never”.
Here is why you should eradicate these words from your vocabulary.
Each time you use them, you are creating an excuse for yourself.
You make this excuse to remove the imagined pain of doing the thing RIGHT NOW.
You falsely believe that future you will be wiser and more responsible.
Shit! future you is a superhero who will do all the bullshit that you have been piling up over the years no questions asked!
I am here to tell you that future you, might be worse off than current you!
Do these situations below sound familiar?
“Sure, I could join the gym today and start on my new diet.”
But those Krispy Kreme doughnuts are looking extra sweet today!
“It’s possible to get a start on my business today, I mean the computer is right there…”
Fuck that, let’s play some Fortnite. We can do that shit tomorrow!
“I should call my dad and catch up with him, it’s been a while.”
Nah, I will call him later, time to torrent some episodes of Big Bang Theory.
This is the mental dialogue of someone who is doomed to fail in life. If you train yourself to take the easy way out, your mind will no longer take your suggestions seriously.
When it counts, and you MUST accomplish something, you will sabotage yourself. You will be stuck in the deadly feedback-loop of procrastination.
Frustration will be your new best friend as you wonder why you can’t get yourself to accomplish anything worthwhile.
Look, it all begins with your daily choices that literally change your brain.
Have you ever walked through a field of grass and were surprised to see a pathway?
Well, at one point in time there was grass there. Then someone walked through it, creating a small breach in the grass.
Other people continued to follow this path because it had the least resistance.
Over time the grass died and the path that you see today was forged.
Your brain does the same thing with its mental processes and thought patterns. Each time you postpone what can be done today for tomorrow you are reinforcing that thought pattern.
Tragedy strikes when the thought process becomes your automated response, this is when you are truly FUCKED.
So, next time you try postponing something that can be done today, just envision that mental pathway digging itself deeper and deeper into your brain.
Imagine fat, lazy and unaccomplished versions of yourself off at work digging
Look! That crazy fucker over there is using a drill!
He is smiling while doing it too.
Ouch.., It hurts just thinking about it.
Instead of saying I will do it “tomorrow”, I challenge you to change the frame.
Ask yourself
“what can I work on today?”
Remember that starting is the biggest issue with procrastination. If you start at least you have created something real, you have planted a seed.
Here is how you should structure the previous examples:
“Sure, I could join the gym today and start on my new diet”
I will do 10 push-ups right now and prep my meals for the next 3 days.
“It’s possible to get a start on my business today, I mean the computer is right there…”
Let me organize a consultation time with a website developer.
“I should call my dad and catch up with him, it’s been a while.”
I will call him and tell him that I only have 20 minutes to talk to him for now.
There is always something that can be done, the key is to start looking for these things. Never postpone what can be done today for tomorrow.
You don’t want to reach the end of your days when there are no more “tomorrows” and regret not having accomplished anything.
Your new word is “TODAY”
Ps. For this asking those is a letter that I sent out to my newsletter. I am Isaac from Therealizedman. I like to share some of my content in this sub from time to time.
To those accusing this of being plagiarism, I appreciate your vigilance. Next time please hit the report button; that will give us a chance to either nuke it or clear it.
This is original content from OP. We only allow ECs to directly promote their blogs, which is why OP did not let you know his blog identity. He has since added it, but I'll let it stand because a lot of people asked about it.
In the future, please just hit the report button and let us clear it up as fast as possible. I do indeed nuke at least a couple posts a week that are straight up plagiarism.
I've read males mostly procrastinate because of a fear of failure. Why go to the gym today if I won't be ripped tomorrow? Why study for my college exam if I'm not going to get a 100? Why ask the girl out if she is out of my league and will turn me down?
That's really a shame, cause that is exactly what makes men stronger. Once you've failed in attempting something, it's a golden opportunity to see your shortcomings, as well as see what you have learned in the process.
With that new knowledge and sense of self, your next attempt will bring you a much higher chance of success. You can fail a million times, but you only have to win once to make all the difference in your life.
As long as you learn something from it, failure is one of the greatest things that can happen to you. Knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.
Don't know if i'd believe that personally.
I think it has more to do with the fact that instant gratification is everywhere. We're all dopamine junkies. That's why we eat and drink and masturbate when we're bored. It makes us feel good NOW. Why would you wait to feel good when you can feel good right now, with little to no effort?
Maybe... but you can get immense satisfaction from going to the gym, studying for the test, and asking the girl out. It's easier to justify why you are fat, why you got a D+ on the test, and why you are single though. "I don't lift, I don't study or try, and I wouldn't want to date a slut" but I know I could if I tried and that's good enough for me."
In other words men turn into hamsters.
Sure, I agree with you on that. What i'm trying to say though is that our short term thinking and way of life reinforces certain neural pathways. A lot of us get used to wanting the instant gratification and consequently anything else that should give a noticeable dopamine release (feel-good hormone) just doesn't do as much as it should.
Obviously this varies from person to person, but I know that for me it's a struggle.
I don't procrastinate because i'm scared of failing or because i'm scared of not finishing shit in time. I procrastinate because there are other things I can do that makes me feel better. Of course you have power over what you choose to do, but most people simply make decisions based on emotions and then rationalize them - meaning they choose feeling good now over feeling good in the future.
"most people simply make decisions based on emotions and then rationalize them"
If most people are women, then yes.
We all do this whether you belive it or not. Men may however not do it to the same extent that women do.
For example, let's assume you told a person coke is bad and you even proved it to them. They would most likely continue drinking coke because they want it so badly. The rationalization might be "noone else is getting sick from it", "i'm not gonna get diabetes", "you're exaggerating", "just one last coke", etc.
We are built to want and seek out certain things.
And of course it's never just one line of thinking that reinforces these patterns, there are dozens at play.
Look at your example with coke. In addition to everything you stated, this person might also read a study that says weight and proneness to diabetes are genetic, and this reinforces the worldview they want to be correct, so they choose to believe it. Confirmation bias is a bitch like that.
There are many tricks your brain uses to keep things easy for you, because at some point that expediency was helpful to mankind. We now have the luxury of thoroughly researching and reasoning through our lives, and posts like the OP help us confront our harmful (yet comfortable) patterns.
Actually, no ALL HUMANS ALL THE TIME. This is 100% known not just conjecture.
are you being sarcastic? genuinely asking
Instant-gratification, being the keyword.
Everything is about wants. The end result of working hard or studying is to get something we want. Not engaging in instant gratification should be done with an understanding that you are postponing one minor want (a donut) for a greater want (getting laid). Life is triage. We always have to make choices and have priorities. It’s a sign of shitty character to always take the easy low payout over the big difficult ones.
My procrastination come from fear and i hate it.
I think it's evolution fighting us. In a much more brutal time, expending the energy to try to kill a mammoth could doom your tribe to starvation if you didn't have enough guys, and enough spears, to bring it down - it would run away and be gone. So we evolved to always try to consider things thoroughly before expending energy on them.
But in the modern world this instinct is very rarely needed. If we push through it, we're much better off.
Interesting. This ties into abundance mentality.
In a tribal setting you had limited females to seduce, so if you brazenly propositioned them without acquiring resources and a reputation first, it could spell doom for you and your genes.
We place so much importance on a female we seek to interact with, we are paralyzed by it, because of the tribal mindset.... Social proof, SMV... makes so much sense in this context.
The reality is, urbanisation and massive population centres are relatively new things for humanity - change to abundance mentality is a must, IN ALL aspects of life.
Its also to do with 'delayed gratification'. In general its easier to do things that ere definitely good right now than maybe better later. Working out is effort over being ripped eventually. Approaching is scary over maybe getting laid later. Jordan Peterson wrote about it. Resonates with me.
Man this hits home. I have two assignments and I have to go to gym but I was procrastinating. Thank you for this.
I was on the PS4 last night playing some Wildlands and I hadn’t lifted yet. My hamster told me to level up some more and that I was already looking pretty good. I mean I could skip a night, right? Then, and I kid you not, I got this shitty feeling that I was leveling up some digital merc and not leveling up my own muscles. That got me off ass and to the gym. It’s not guilt or anything. I just have better priorities now even though the call to be a turd is strong in me.
I wasnt sure if i should go to gym before my 12 hours shift but i said fuck it and it was worth it i know i am gonna be tired af but i know its good for me. When I have a thought about approaching a girl at day I hamster out like a pussy, if i go atleast once after that first time should be easy.
The grass metaphor is great and it applies to many things in life. Great post with great examples.
I've turned down one to many beers and "cheat days" since february, because I actually wanted to get my lifts/diet down since i was obese. it took me about 18 months of trying and failing before I hit my stride. its all mental.
Congrats my man. Have you hit your fitness goals yet?
down 57 lbs, 25 to go. im lucky I used to lift heavy when I was fat af because theres a solid foundation of muscle revealing itself.
Good on you. I love how you feel lucky that you were lifting when fat, because as the fat melts, muscle reveals. I'm lucky I started lifting as skinny fat, as I'm only two months into stronglifts and already showing hypertrophy. Other extreme, yet we're both right!
I’d just like to say congratulations and good job for sticking through it for 11 years. Like you said, you have to keep trying and its all mental. Good shit!
1 and half years but thanks lol
I'm just commenting so I can mark this post to come back and read it later.
I'm just jerking off now so I don't have to have sex later
The fucking irony of this comment on this post
You do have some point but I guess I’ll think about it in the evening
Just a heads up if you weren’t being sarcastic. You do have the ability to save post.
Same. Upvoted, saved and commented on post for future reference!
this comment gets posted on every fuckin procrastinator video and article. when do people stop liking old jokes? how is this even the top rated comment?
Just because it's old to you doesn't mean it's old for everyone.
this joke gets abused for years, how can it be new for anyone?
the same way George Carlin jokes from the 90s are still new to me. the universe doesn't revolve around the things you see in your day to day, man. And I know for a fact you have a favorite meme or joke that always works on you despite it not being new.
This is exactly how I feel about smoking cigarettes. I've managed to get myself in the habit of hitting the gym 4x a week, but it's an uphill battle if I ruin my lungs. Every time I say I will quit and do it anyway, it weekend my confidence in myself and can be dragged into other goals or areas in my life.
I know myself and I'm not meant to smoke cigarettes. It does not align with the stronger version of myself. Thankfully, I'm aware that it's possible to strengthen my willpower to focus on quitting until it becomes a habit (I recommend the book "The Willpower Instinct" by Kelly McGonigal, excellent read).
The OP is right on the money about forming the habit of procastination. It's like a mental war on your mind. The only way to overcome it is to constantly fight against your bad habits until your brain forms it into a good habit. The more you fight, the easier it gets. But you can't let up, not even a little bit.
Thanks for this post OP. It's good stuff.
Quitting smoking is incredibly easy, you just don't smoke it's that simple
The problem is it's really fucking unpleasant, the first week you want to spark out pretty much anyone you come across
If you perserve and get past the 2/3 week mark the cravings get a lot easyier and you feel like yourself again
The trick is to change your perspective on the issue, at the moment you see cigs as something precious, you put them on a pedestal and thus want them more
Smoking is basically oneitis, you know they're no good for you but you keep going back anyway
You have to be 100% dedicated to quitting or you'll hamster on it, give in and be right back where you started
Best of luck bro, it gets easyier
Have you read Alan Carr's Easyway to stop smoking ?
I flicked though it a few years ago, I liked the core messages but the repetitiveness started to grate on me, it's like any book, he could have condensed the whole thing down to 10 pages but then he's not got a product
Would recommend to anyone that's struggling though
Thanks man... This is what I was missing while quitting Cigs. I was trying hard but it keeps coming back after 1/2 weeks.
Thanks man... This is what I was missing while quitting Cigs. I was trying hard but it keeps coming back after 1/2 weeks.
Wow, what a great way to look at it. Thank you for that. I assume you have quit smoking ?
Willpower works against you when stopping smoking. Because having to use willpower actually signals that you want to smoke. Willpower doesn't work that way. You have to dehyonotize yourself and actually link not smoking to more pleasure than smoking. So then you won't have to use willpower.
Spot on again. I will put this to practice. Thank you.
I have.. It's all mindset. See yourself as a non smoker and it will happen.
Yeah been completely clean for about 10 months, after the 1 year mark i'll be open to enjoying the odd cigar every once in a blue moon but i'll never go back to smoking, it's just not worth it
For what it's worth regarding smoking.... I'll be burying an aunt over the next month or so. The son who lives with her has managed to kick the habit.
Wow.... I'm sorry for your loss
"4. Remember how long thou hast been putting off these things, and how often thou hast received an opportunity from the gods, and yet dost not use it. Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art now a part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is an efflux, and that a limit of time is fixed for thee, which if thou dost not use for clearing away the clouds from thy mind, it will go and thou wilt go, and it will never return." One of the first thoughts in Meditations
“Yesterday you said tomorrow.”
Something I like to tell myself when I’m procrastinating.
Let me give you an alternative view to procrastination.
To me, there are 2 types of procrastination.
It's not always bad. Sometimes it would legitimitely be better off for yourself to postpone an activity when you get your focus back. For me, it has worked so far. I study for 1-2 hours in the morning, taking a 5 minute break every half an hour. When I get around 75% of my studying goals for the day done, I take a large break. That is usually playing some Fortnite, and I do this because any more work isn't going to be productive as I have lost my focus by then.
I'm pretty much practicing what you anti-procrastinators are fully demonizing, yet I have never felt so satisfied with how much information I've been able to remember from the books.
As long as you have a healthy relationship with postponing, which means ACTUALLY getting to work after a set amount of time, there is no reason not to make use of it.
One day or Day One, it's your choice.
You can keep telling yourself someday or just get off your ass and make that day today. YOU make that decision every day.
Well written post. Procrastination was a huge problem for me in the past (I’m still improving) but like you said, you need to make those small changes right now! And you constantly have to have a dialogue with yourself to check your old voice (habits) that tells you “it can wait.” Fight that voice with action. Just do something and build off that everyday.
This is word for word a copy of the email I got from therealizedman.com. Unless you are the actual author you should give credit where credit is due. https://imgur.com/P2tCSCI
It is him. He behaved and didn't outright put it in the post (at first). We only allow ECs to directly promote their blogs, but there is nothing wrong with copying your own content into a post.
I believe this is the actual author, look at his post history.
IIRC he used to post from multiple accounts because he kept getting banned for plugging his site or some shit.
Never actually been banned from theredpill
You've been super close though, right? I'll let this one stay up.
The formatting is a bit hard on the eyes though.
Uhh yeah there was that one time...
This hit home BIG TIME - I thought about procrastinating on buying my Dad a laptop last Christmas. I had to go way across the city and everything that went wrong that day did go wrong. I could have said tomorrow a bunch of times. I really wanted to. But I just went ahead and got that shit.
He never had a PC or phone before but her learned to use it. He died in February. At the funeral my Dads best friend told me all the stuff my Dad done on it and how he loved it. I left the room and broke down.
I was just so happy and proud of myself for Doing the fucking thing and not procrastinating on it.
If you read this and say "cool story but it will never happen to me"
It COULD happen - I never expected it to happen
CALL YOUR DAD AND MAM AND BROTHER AND SISTER
Sorry about your Dad man. So cool that you could do something good for him though.
Good post. Something I struggle with.
TODAY SIMPLY MEANS NOW.. JUST GO DO IT NOW!
Good stuff. Procrastination is the thief of time, that most non renewable resource.
I want to add something to this post. If you are doing the thing that you are supposed be doing. Don't forget this golden rule: NEVER, EVER MAKE EXCEPTIONS. If you stop smoking and something terrible happened. You can go for ''one'' smoke, because of the circumstances. But this exception just made certain that you will make more ''exceptions''. This is called falling into a cycle. One day, you will wake up again and start doing the thing you are supposed to do, but will fail again because of this. Never forget this brothers.
Well said, currently in the middle of this battle with myself mentally keeping focused on what I need to be doing. Always exceptions that get me out of my cycle and fucks me
Spot on, never compromise.
I remember when I started going to the gym after high school I would have a lot of trouble convincing myself to go. I worked at a warehouse job doing labor so I was always tired when I got home. Luckily I wanted muscles and pussy bad enough that I would tell myself, "just drive to the gym and park in the parking lot. If you still aren't feeling it, you can come home" and "you can just do a few ab workouts and then that's it, at least you went".
Every single time that I would tell myself that and go to the gym, I would always end up doing a full workout and feel great about myself after. Eventually the gym became a habit and addiction that I now have to convince myself to take rest days lol.
Just want to say thanks for this. I am in this exact state of mind and need to break free of it.
A famous man once said "get action."
Summed up well here OP
Thanks, dude. I was studying, decided to check reddit's hot section, and spent 10 minutes doing nothing until I saw this post. Right after this im gonna go hit the books.
I want to put it in simpler terms. What if the balance of pain-win is bad? There are two options.
Now I put your examples into context:
"I will call him and tell him that I only have 20 minutes to talk to him for now.":
changes the balance to be less negative.
"Let me organize a consultation time with a website developer.":
removes the negative of not knowing how to do.
"I will do 10 push-ups right now and prep my meals for the next 3 days.":
removes the negative of worry about proper food for the next few days and
pull through manageable and concrete pain now instead of unknown pain tomorrow.
I needed this post. Thank you brother.
"Right now" is a quick fix to procrastination, not a long term solution. You can't solve chaos with chaos, you need order. You need to get a calendar and commit to it. The only thing you should be doing "right now" is buying a fucking calendar if you don't have one.
Goals are pointless without having a clearly defined plan of action or implementation on how to achieve those goals
Tomorrow never comes for some people. You could be dead tomorrow. Today may be your last chance to believe in yourself... Your last chance to drink from life's well.
Awesome post man.
I'm gonna ask myself first thing in the morning what I can get done!
This is pretty long. I will read it later.
Hey dick. This is NOT your writing. You did not write this! This is written by The Realized Man. His name is Issac. Don't go stealing other peoples work you cocksucker.
Yeah that's me, good to see that you are on my email list!
Atleast you know you have loyal fans
Yeah I love the commitment! :')
And your user here is joeycrackem... Interesting
I kept running into this meth head who would call himself Joey and kept saying "crack em Joey fucking crack em", it made me laugh so much that it became my reddit name.
Well I guess the only way I can prove my identity is by telling you which email you will receive next...
It will be called 'The Art of Starting'
Ahh then all good bro. I just got pissed off because I thought someone was stealing credit from a good man that has helped me out with his excellent insight about life. Much love Issac!
No worries Boss! Thanks.
But if you play Fortnite then you probably aren't an alpha.