Your Comfort Zone & Oneitis

Oneitis is a problem.

I know what you're thinking. "I don't give a fuck, braaaaah!" The chances are... you do. For the first few weeks post-pill, I had convinced myself that I didn't care. Even though I was checking up on my old oneitis almost hourly, displaying stalker-ish like behavior, and posting askTRP threads about her all the time, I had convinced myself that I didn't care about her. Now, I'm all for the 'fake it till you make it' hype, but this problem is going to force you to go inside and tear the problem out from its' root.

This is all stemming from your hormones. We all know the word: dopamine. You get it when you eat that candy bar you shouldn't be eating because you TOLD yourself that you're starting that cut today. You have it in ample amounts when you masturbate. When you choose the easy, short-term reward, you know you'll have dopamine on the other side. Drugs, in more extreme cases.

This dopamine keeps you chasing this partner, your oneitis, and keeps you chasing the feeling of being 'in love'. In reality, you're not in love with this girl. Like, at all. This is why it is necessary to reflect deep within yourself and this is why you must instill a basis for discipline. A few months ago, I was bulking and I had convinced myself that I looked good big and I wasn't getting chubby. Bullshit. I didn't want to have the discipline to cut my calories and add in cardio. Since then, I have. Some people don't have the discipline to wake up in the morning. Some people don't have the discipline to do certain things that they must do to better themselves. The same applies to your oneitis. Getting rid of that loose end WILL make you a better person, just like lifting, just like studying, just like anything that will make you a better person. Nobody said those things will be easy.

A lot of people like to say that this forum is for psychopaths and men that just want to manipulate women to have sex. This could not be further from the truth. I've understood TRP to be an alarm clock for (sometimes young) men who have been living life the wrong way. A lack of discipline is the cancer of our society today. It plagues all young men and stands in their way. For example, 33 year old Bob has a naggy wife that fucks her Tennis coach, a shitty job that he hates, a gut, 2 kids (who probably aren't his), and he doesn't do anything. Why? The answer is that Bob LACKS DISCIPLINE. He doesn't want to take the steps necessary to better his life. This is the blue pill reality, gentlemen. This lifestyle starts with the minor things: not wanting to clean up after yourself, not wanting to learn how to cook, not wanting to lift, not wanting to be independent, not wanting to READ THE FUCKING SIDEBAR...

Step one. Discipline yourself. Make yourself uncomfortable. One of my favorite sayings is that "your comfort zone will kill you." This could not be closer to the truth. I make myself uncomfortable by going to the gym and lifting. I make myself uncomfortable by not eating that slice of cake even though I want to. I make myself uncomfortable by not masturbating sixteen times a day. I make myself uncomfortable by striking conversation with random people. These are all things you can do to pull yourself out of your comfort zone. Take the number one thing you're having trouble with. For example, social anxiety? Start a journal and log every interaction you have. Speak to the cashier at your supermarket, tell a girl you like her shoes... anything! Soon, you'll start to realize that these interactions are usually never harmful. By taking yourself out of your comfort zone, you will better yourself.

Now, you're probably asking yourself: how does this apply to Oneitis?

Simple. When you're speaking to a girl and you get comfortable, you let your guard down. You get emotional. You bend like a wet noodle. Her panties are on grand-canyon status when that happens. Your frame bends, and you lose her. By disciplining yourself, you can resist the urge to succumb to your body telling you to take the easy way out. "Tell her you have feelings for her!!! It's a good idea!!!" That's your body screaming for you to take the dopamine and run. Like a crack addict. Are you a crack addict?

I didn't think so. Next time you're with a female and you're starting to feel those fluttery signs of "love", mentally recollect yourself. Make yourself aware of what's going on and make sure your game stays on point.

Another reason for oneitis is a clear lack of abundance.

If you had 100 different women that you were somehow actively plating... 100 different women that cook for you, do your laundry, and treat you like a king, would you be in love with this bitch? Chances are, she'd probably repulse you. It's like this with everything in life. Think of this like money. Money has its' value because we give it value. If one were to inflate the economy to post-war Germany status, people would be burning money for warmth. The same principle applies to women. Once you stop empowering the women in your life by acting like a bitch, they will hold no power over you.

Here's a good example. Recently, I started dabbling with Tinder. I matched a girl and quickly texted her for the logistics of when we were gonna meet up. She said she wanted to come over and I gave her a day and time that worked for me. She said she couldn't make it, I simply replied: "k". The easy way would have been to go: "Well, whenever you're ready!!! I want to have sex with you so bad!!! Plz luv meh!!!". However, "k" (albeit, it wouldn't have the best short term return), got me the best long term result. She replies later telling me that she's all of a sudden free and that she wants to come over. I go "OK", and give her the green light. Right before she comes, she goes: "What if you're ugly and I don't want to have sex with you?" (why did you match me then?) To this, I say: "k". We were fucking within the next twenty minutes.

The point is, I didn't lose frame throughout the entire conversation. All it took was me treating her like she did not matter at all and she was at my doorstep ready to be quiet so I could smash her with my parents home. If I were to have treated her like a unicorn, like she was the only girl that mattered, I wouldn't be typing this right now.

Next time you meet a 'unicorn', remind yourself that she's like any other girl. She's not special. I'll tell you this now and it's been said a million times on this sub. AWALT. AWALT. AWALT. You don't realize the power these words hold over human behavior until you really speak to enough women and read enough first-person accounts from men who didn't listen to these words.

Tips to get over a oneitis? Out of sight, out of mind. Get rid of everything that has to do with her. If you need some time off of social media, take it. Discipline yourself to not check her social media. She sends you a message? Don't even open it. Delete it on the spot. Delete her number. Delete all of her pictures. Make yourself uncomfortable. Getting her out of sight will eventually get you over her.

The other night I saw my old oneitis on Tinder. She was using a fake alias and it was obvious that she was there for hookups. It made me laugh. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. This girl that I once thought was 'special' was like the other Tinder hoes that I was hooking up with on a regular basis. I smiled, got her the fuck off of my screen, and continued on my merry way. It was less than a few months ago that I was crying because of her. It all boils down to discipline. How uncomfortable are you willing to get to get the results you want?