I stopped being a nice guy a few years ago in the middle of my divorce several years ago. Fast forward to Valentine's day last year with my girlfriend, I did absolutely nothing. No cards, no flowers, no candy. I might have said Happy Valentine's Day. She was mad. She cried. She said I didn't love her, didn't care about her, blah blah blah.

Me: "So I don't do nice things for you? I don't care about you? I don't show you that normally?"

Her: "Yes but this was Valentine's Day, you were supposed to do something special."

Me: "What did you do for me? Did you get me flowers? Candy? Buy me anything? Write me a poem?"

Her: "No because I'm the girl!"

Me: "Hmmm sounds pretty one sided...not sure I want any part in that. I only do nice things when I want to, not when I feel obligated."

This year I was treated to over $100 in Valentine's presents (and they were pretty damn good too). I did send her a card and a bag of candy she likes (because I wanted to, not because I was obligated). I definitely made out in the deal.

Don't do anything out of obligation, and call them out in their bullshit. Don't be dissuaded. When they claim what other men do for their wives and girlfriends, let them know they are free to be with one of those amazing people. My girl knows she'd be bored to tears with a guy who did everything for her the way a "good man" was supposed to.