The only one you can save is yourself

RedSugarPill · 2016-04-12T03:49:30+00:00

I recently tried to help my downtrodden brother by letting him stay with me to 'reset' and 'heal'. Gave him some suggestions to turn his life around (e.g. go to the gym, try to quit smoking, put together a resume, start working on his business ideas, etc.). Instead of doing that, he spent all his savings on hookers, video games, drugs, and alcohol--and most of that money was finagled from other family members. He refused to get a job for several weeks, and finally took a minimum wage job with minimal hours. Lies around all day, yells at the first person shooter game, and messes up the apartment. I can't concentrate in my own sanctuary anymore. I have so much work to do these days, that I don't have the energy to tell him to get lost, but that day is coming shortly (after some serious deadlines that I cannot afford to fuck up). But he showed me that AWALT applies equally to lazy-ass parasite men just as well (Edit: actually, living with him is worse than all my live-in ex-girlfriends). I miss my cheating ex-girlfriend who used to keep the place tidy and throw me occasional duty sex.. Jokes aside, I will never live with another person again. Lesson learned. And to relate it to the OP, I am paying some serious instant karma for trying to help out my brother--it's going to be an ugly brovorce.

bokehnikon · 2016-04-12T03:50:37+00:00

I would add TRP is about "codifying" (i.e. putting in written form) the truths about women that men pick up in bit and pieces as they go through life. We sometime deny it, can't put a finger on it or even ignore it because of BP conditioning.

TRP puts it there in front of your face, "in print" so to speak. Words tend to order the random thoughts in our brain. It's like an "ah ha" moment where the subconscious truth suddenly becomes self-evident.

scromboidfish · 2016-04-12T16:39:31+00:00

And once you accept that mindset, you will begin to have significant progress.

This is where I am with my red pill journey at the moment. The hardest part is accepting that some of the people that are important to you, will not understand your journey. These might be fathers, brother or life long friends.

And in this world, there is nothing more stubborn, than a beta bitch who feel the walls of his world crumbling around him. They will see your mindset shift as a betrayal, many will not react well.

The loneliness you face as you begin to transition into the red, that is the hardest part of this journey. Many of the betas you will leave behind, will have been friends who were with you through the saddest and most soul crushing moments of your life.

The most important revelation here, however, is that they choose to continue to live in the pit of misery. As you pull away, you will see them for who they truly are....and you will realize that they were not keeping you company, but rather, they were keeping you complacent.

supergilbert · 2016-04-12T05:23:25+00:00

Let me be that one person that quotes the Bible here:

For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Ecclesiastes 1

When I was a teenager, and up until recently, I couldn't help myself but argue with people at parties etc. It was actually a lot of fun, and it's in my country's culture to have heated debates.

Nowadays I understand one has to chose its battles wisely.

When I see hardcore feminists that tick ALL THE BOXES of TRP (single at 35, CC rider, multiple cats, calls herself strong independant woman..), I don't argue anymore, I just tell myself that time and Truth will do the work for me. Reality and Truth is absolute, you can't escape it, so what's the point of arguing with someone you know won't be sensitive to?

jimjam80 · 2016-04-12T04:25:41+00:00

You know what the most annoying thing to a smoker is? Another ex-smoker telling them how much better life is after they stopped smoking.

My brother is a smoker and told me he plans on quitting . . . once he finishes this last CARTON. He also told me that he's planning on divorcing his wife . . . after X, Y, Z, etc. He's never going to do either of these things and will die of lung cancer, still married to his fat, worthless alcoholic wife. She's such an alcoholic that she will drink vanilla extract to get drunk after he threw away all of the alcohol in the house. If he were smarter, he's realize that her alcoholism gives him an easy out (relatively speaking) in the court of public opinion. Fucked up bitch drinks before work!

The worst part with him was all the lip service he paid me . . . he was all ears learning about TRP . . . I even sent him a link . . . he never commented on it once. Never said a word. He just stuck his head back in the sand and will never pull it back out. I'll never waste my time like that again.

RP_Vergil · 2016-04-12T06:23:08+00:00

Yup. Agree with this fully. Think about it this way, your attempt to forcefully unplug someone is like telling that person that he has been Living A Lie for the past X Years.

Nothing terrifies a Man more than being told that what he has lived for is not true. Denying a person straight out of his experience is akin to denying his existence. Much like how man can't swallow well that the child of theirs isn't from their own seed.

Don't bother, a teacher will appear when the student is ready. Most man would have already seen traces of RP truth out there, it isn't exclusive here in this sub only. They discount it and doesn't believe it, until the day the "Sexist" article he read before somewhere starts haunting him and stinging him at the back of his mind, would he slowly find that the reality is not how he used to know from parents, society, news and peers and Woman in general told him.

If he can survive the cold turkey of being out of the blue pill pod, he will slowly awaken to the raw red truth.

ex_addict_bro · 2016-04-12T05:11:29+00:00

Proper analysis. That's how my marriage ended when I went to therapy

Docbear64 · 2016-04-12T07:46:14+00:00

I am sure many of us can even attest to this non-willingness to change ourselves . When I was blue pill and my uncle , brother, and older cousin had women who adored and chased them while it seemed like they could barely make time for them I was appalled. I would ask them why the women were so invested in them and they would be honest , brutally honest but what they were saying to me was opposite what women told me they wanted, what music, movies, tv, and literature told me i should be for women . Here I saw men who had women consistently explaining to me exactly what they did and why the women followed and in a mixture of fear , ignorance, disgust, and arrogance I just knew they were wrong .

I was so invested in the value of my own delusions that I would rather believe what my mind could conceive and ears wanted to hear versus appreciating what was right in front of my eyes. I woke up after being cheated on , I woke up after seeing how the less romantic me was apparently far more interesting .

Discovering the redpill amplified some of the interpersonal changes I developed through seeing my " perfect relationship" fail and helped me understand how to mold myself into a better man .

While I think all of us if would love to save our families, friends , even acquaintances from the heartbreak, financial ruin, depression , disappointment , anger, confusion, pain, and suffering that we have experienced ourselves . It's just as important for them to get burned as it was for us . the only truly unfortunate thing is some will be repeatedly burned and never wake up and maybe there's a reason for that . We've all traveled our own road to receive the red pill and with that road comes the decision to accept or reject it . All you can offer them is a choice .

balalasaurus · 2016-04-12T12:16:06+00:00

Human beings are naturally social creatures. That means that when we find something good, we tend to want to share that good with others. On TRP, we often talk about reclaiming masculinity as it is our natural state. However we don't pay enough attention to the unnatural components inherent in the definition of masculinity.

And that is exactly where the problem lies.

Most people, new to this place, wrongly believe that in swallowing the pill, we are choosing to revert to a primal state. They ignore the fact that what made us men, was the acknowledgement of both our primal and civilized natures. That ignorance is what pushes them to proselytize the pill without stopping to think about whether or not they should or if it's even worth it.

To be a real man entails knowing when to emphasize which side: knowing when to show restraint and when to act. And with that comes the knowledge of when to share information, and when to keep your damn mouth shut.

sergeantbbbbs · 2016-04-12T11:43:21+00:00

I went to a birthday party for a friend once who had just got through a cancer scare. His sister and her husband had bought him a 12 month gym membership. The look of awkwardness followed by fake gratitude on his face was priceless

ManOfGrapes · 2016-04-12T04:11:22+00:00

In no way should any RP man help those that exist outside of the manosphere. It is not our responsibility, or fight or whatever BP mindset trick to save anyone, man or woman. Rollo's recent article touched on this:

This is because men have been conditioned over the course of successive generations to think they are some kind of hero for ‘saving’ a woman from her own breeding decisions by directly or indirectly forgiving indiscretions and supporting and raising a child he didn’t father.

I think this concept can be applied to almost anyone, including family and friends. You can't control anything but your own actions, and you cannot force a person to change. They have to make that decision.

People do not like feeling bad about their choices, so they associate those bad feelings with you. You are the problem. You are the one making them feel bad.

Improvement is hard. Changing bad habits is hard. Going from a couch potato to a shredded god is really hard. People always look for the easy way out, and can't comprehend why you would desire to change the status quo.

evileddy · 2016-04-12T03:52:44+00:00

Yap. Know the truth. Keep it to yourself and act like you don't know.

causeandcorrelation · 2016-04-12T06:51:48+00:00

This is a very important piece. Thanks for the contribution. I'll add that improving ones self (raising both SMV and personal happiness) comes from refining ones process to include value accretive behaviours and activities.

2comment · 2016-04-12T11:56:15+00:00

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

charliedelto · 2016-04-12T10:34:08+00:00

In my mind I've always thought that life was like a Boeing 747. When that cabin depressurizes and those oxygen masks drop, put your own on first. If everyone tries to put everyone else's on before their own, we'll all die trying to save each other. Put your own mask on first.

BTW, I loved the bit about TRP not being a revolution. I think men from time immemorial would understand you. They never wanted to change the world, just survive it. I hope people listen to you.

fightorfear · 2016-04-12T03:51:50+00:00

What's your opinion on self-help books and motivational websites? Should they not even bother?

PedroTT · 2016-04-12T08:43:51+00:00

In the end it all boils down to comfort and avoidance of pain. People are VERY short-sighted and don't like to make changes because changing ANY ingrained habit or behavior is an extremely painful process.

All__fun · 2016-04-12T12:30:28+00:00

Why TheRedPill is not a revolution, or a movement>

I really like this section.

Thanks OP

[deleted] · 2016-04-12T15:28:49+00:00

People you care about in life are gonna have their fuckups. Some bigger than others. There's nothing you can do about it but watch. If a man goes his whole life thinking there's "true love" and he can find "the one", that's what he's going to believe - despite all the evidence. You telling him those things aren't real is hitting at his core and making him resent you. You might as well get ready for a fight.

Stythe · 2016-04-12T17:09:25+00:00

The problem is when you learn something or see the impact it has on your life, you want to share it. This is especially true when it's new and you're still learning (which is why you should keep your trap shut). Let yourself learn something fully before you share it, so you can share it I'm the correct way, through example, not by being preachy or self-righteous.

Title	The only one you can save is yourself
Author	projectself
Upvotes	108
Comments	30
Date	April 12, 2016 3:11 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4eeaqi/the_only_one_you_can_save_is_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-only-one-you-can-save-is-yourself.57691 https://theredarchive.com/post/57691

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