What do we think about common-law relationships/marriages vs. traditional marriage? I would like to hear your opinions and stories if you have any ✨

KetoKittenAround · 2020-08-12T01:26:19+00:00

I think if you are a high value woman you get what you want. But don’t be LV and PRETEND you don’t want what you want.

I have already been married. It is tougher for me to want to do so even with a high value man. When you get a bit older you build wealth and you’re just honestly looking for what you personally want.

But a lot of women play themselves with this “it’s only a paper!!!!!” Yet stay secretly wishing their dream wedding.

You are a Queen. Yes I said it. You are a Queen!!!! You decide what you truly want in your heart and then don’t back down. Don’t change your goals based of false promises or the like. You need to genuinely know what you’re wanting.

It’s about YOU.

supremelyparanoid · 2020-08-12T01:40:13+00:00

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FewButterscotch6 · 2020-08-12T02:56:31+00:00

Common-law marriages actually came about as a way for the state to disallow men abusing a loophole to exploit a woman out of domestic labor without providing the security of marriage. So, if you were cohabiting for long enough and/or had children, the state ignored whether or not you pursued marriage and just declared you "legally wed" with all the rights and responsibilities that came with it. So, if a common-law marriage disintegrated the woman would be entitled to alimony and marital property division the same as in any other divorce, and since a prenup is impossible in the case of common-law, the split would usually be the default of 50/50. These laws came into being at at time when it was still largely impossible for a woman with children to survive without a man, and the state used common-law marriages to prevent an epidemic of irresponsible/selfish men creating an influx of women and children in need of social services at the state's expense.

The push to eradicate the practice of common-law marriages comes mostly from MRA types and their libfem handmaidens on the grounds that it's unfair that a man can't live together with a woman, produce children with her, refuse to marry her, and have the legal right to abandon her whenever he feels like it without having to share any income or properties he acquired during the relationship. They claim common-law marriages infringe on personal liberties which is ironic because the whole argument in favor of the practice in the first place was the belief that the personal freedom of a man to enjoy the perks of domestic cohabitation without the responsibility of marriage came at the unacceptable cost of disrupting social stability, infringing on the rights of the dependents he creates, and increasing tax-payer spending on all these unsupported women and children.

Summerisle7 · 2020-08-12T05:47:55+00:00

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tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-12T02:14:18+00:00

I was with my ex husband from 2004-2017 (we married in 2016, but had a “domestic partnership” legalized by court in 2012) Will not do again. Should have been married that whole time instead of one year🙄 I would have qualified for more benefits. NEVER AGAIN

ApartPersonality · 2020-08-12T03:41:29+00:00

If you’re legally married, you get all his stuff when he dies and get to decide whether to keep him on life support or not.

If you aren’t legally married, you may not have legal protections, even with in a common law situation. Your awful MIL or other shitty next-of-kin can kick you out of the house (if you aren’t a co-owner on the deed) and take much of the life you have built together. The next-of-kin also makes all the calls on how the body is handled after death.

Make sure you’re the next-of-kin.

Cookie_Duchess · 2020-08-12T01:38:28+00:00

My state does not recognize them and I've always thought they're absolutely ridiculous. Just like people always say in this subreddit- "if he wanted to, he would" so it's quite odd to me that some states would slap a label on a couple that have been together for some arbitrary amount of time. I mean, do women even benefit from a Common-law marriage? Is she entitled to his estate, alimony, etc? I've never heard of a story where any woman's life or circumstances was improved by a CLM so if anyone has a story please share!

Charming_Mix7930 · 2020-08-12T12:08:00+00:00

I believe there couldn't be just one answer for this, because of cultural differences.

In my country/city, common-law relationships are the most common. This is due to the fact that one of our dictatorships abolished divorce in the 50s, and it was reinstated when we finally had a democracy again in the 80s (basically: women were trapped in abusive marriages). But it had a catch: you needed to be separated for 2 years, and if you got into a relationship at the time, you ended up losing because cheating was legally punishable.

This changed in 2014, but after all these decades, this still remains.

It also added a protection for common-law relatiinships, so, for example, my sister (in common-law relationship) would have the same rights that anyone married if she get separated of my BIL because they have been livibg together since 2005 (+ they have 2 children)

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-08-12T02:45:26+00:00

My state did away with common law marriages recently. I think they are a relic. And I think some people specifically want to live together and NOT be married.

I won’t live with a man unless we are actually married. I’m not willing to disrupt my kids lives for anything less.

Scotsburd · 2020-08-13T05:54:32+00:00

Doesn't exist here. Want a life partner? Get married.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-08-14T18:34:35+00:00

No one aspires to common law. It's like the friend zone equivalent when you're already in a relationship where he's waited far too long to escalate things and you should probably move on.

goatismycopilot · 2020-08-12T14:43:04+00:00

I would not do either again. But if you want children an actual marriage is the way to go.

Title	What do we think about common-law relationships/marriages vs. traditional marriage? I would like to hear your opinions and stories if you have any ✨
Author	typeadhd
Upvotes	32
Comments	31
Date	August 12, 2020 1:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i845h6/what_do_we_think_about_commonlaw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-do-we-think-about-common-law.58423 https://theredarchive.com/post/58423

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