TL;DR
Discussion of values and priorities of a divorced dad (shared custody) between 35-40 yo. Or, bragging in disguise, if you will. I'm surprised how my frame changed during RP implementation post divorce.
Body
My kids are back to school.
Few days ago I made some plans with a girlfriend for next weekend, but as it came out there's PTA meeting next Tuesday and this changes my custody plans and in turn if I want one day more with kids, I won't be able to leave with girl until late evening. As she also needs to perform some arrangements on her side, I text her not to push too hard for those arrangements and "whatever will be, will be" and that I don't actually like planning so much forward (bullshit, I do, only I don't see her as too important) and that spontaneous actions are the best and if our weekend is going to work out, it will work out.
I'm honest with her. As in Mark Manson's "Models" honest.
In my heart, I realize she is my last priority. She's pretty but I haven't even fucked her, I have some doubts about if she finds me attractive or just looks for a beta.
And, I thought, even if she finds me attractive... what does it change, really?
She is still my fucking last priority, because if she does find me attractive, it means she can wait and she will wait.
Didn't you read all those stories about girls banging their exes after year or two? Didn't you read BlackDragon's blog? He has a name for girls leaving him to get "temporary exclusivity" from a beta... then getting back to him to fuck him after months or even years.
I remember contacting an ex-gf after 4 or 5 years (it was long time ago) and still fucking her without any problems. Shit, I contacted ex-plate this year, 7 months, she was DTF. Please note those 2 cases I describe here involved pretty compatible sexual chemistry from both sides, but still.
Suddenly I realize, that I can go with my life and my plans with ease. If she is not interested, if she does not invest in relationship with me, no amounts of actions on my part will make her interested and invested. If she finds me attractive, that's even better. She can wait and she gladly will. She may fuck someone in the meantime, why not. But, do I care, if she wants to meet every single time I contact her?
When I plan for the next week, I realize that my current priorities, as divorced dad are:
1) physical health - lifting
2) work - money
3) taking care of my shit (diet, clean flat)
4) quality time with my kids
5) everything else.
I'm surprised I have my shit together this way. I thought this is going to be worse. After this summer, financially, I'm better than ever, even if I pay pretty big alimony, I am inside my tight budget, I am reaching my financial goals. Even if I am a contractor and I went for a holiday for 2 weeks.
And, for you poor, victimized divorced schmucks w/kids out there, posting victim pukes over here or AskTRP, I'm between 35-40 yr old and girls noted in this post are 26 and 29 year old. And they can fucking wait. And, for "in case of emergency break glass" sex, I have another 29 yo and (surprise surprise) 50 yo on side. Yes, 50 yo and I actually find her being much better quality woman than younger girls. As for her looks - RedPillWomen reading this, if you exercise and abstain from smoking and shitty diet, you can suddenly find yourself in a situation, where your fuckmate is ripped and has a sixpack, and your 24-yo daughter's boyfriend does NOT. By the way, cold approach, today's girls are grateful for that. Cold approach and day game, this is no match for this artificial smartphone shit and mind that I've used internet chats and dating years before you.
And, if I finally meet any of those girls, I fuck them like an animal. Why shouldn't I, if I know I am handling my shit, that I have it together, that I have everything set up in order, that I secured my finances, that I spent quality time with my children, that I am the best version of myself I can be?
Summary
She is not my priority, she can wait.
I lose nothing by that.
I can't even think of skipping gym or kids time for some 'ho. No matter, how pretty or how low her notch count could be or how good LTR or FWB material she is. They can wait.
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