The original on HamsterMating.

Below the translation from HamsterSpeak™ to real language

A couple of months ago we were talking about our fantasies and he said that he wanted to have a threesome with me and another guy. He also said that he wanted to try stuff with the other guy but only if I was there and only if I was okay with it.

"I thought my boyfriend was kinky but not a bitch. I was ok with that thought, especially since it meant I could fuck another guy!"

They both went down on me and John went down on my bf.

"My bf getting another man to submit to him was hot. My bf having power is hot. Power is hot."

after ~30s and a few out of character grunts from my bf, it became clear that John was trying to have anal sex with him.

[...]

I expected him to be angry, but he simply laid back with his eyes tightly closed and felt around for my hand and clasped onto it tightly as John started to slowly have sex with him. As it went on, my boyfriend just pulled me really tightly to his chest and made quiet grunts until John finished.

"I thought he wasn't a bitch. But he was. I thought he'd beat the shit out of the other guy for daring to try to assfuck him, but instead..."

I expected him to be angry

"I mean really, what MAN wouldn't react angrily at someone trying to fuck him in the ass? we even have an expression for that for fuck's sake!"

but he simply laid back with his eyes tightly closed

"Seriously who behaves like this? women. Women give up control. Women let things happen to them and surrender their agency. That's our role. Not my boyfriend's. My boyfriend is supposed to be a MAN."

and clasped onto it tightly as John started to slowly have sex with him

"Seriously WTF bitch? not only are you lying back letting your ass get raped by John (literally a John, you little slut), but now you are coming to me for comfort? ask your new boyfriend bitch!"

Ever since it happened I have felt really conflicted.

"I've been trained not to talk badly of same-sex stuff for fear of sounding homophobic, but seriously what the fuck? this isn't the deal I signed up for, I want a MAN not a BITCH"

When he said that he wanted to try stuff with the other guy, I thought he meant he wanted to receive a blow job from the other guy or possibly give the other guy a handjob...

"In case you didn't get it, I expected my boyfriend to be a MAN and DOMINATE as men are supposed to do. Not to submit to the other guy like a little bitch. That's my job. I'm submissive. He's dominant. That's what gets me wet."

I never imagined that it would turn out like it did. He's just not that type of guy (at least, I thought he wasn't)

"But clearly he is. Fuck me how could I be so blind?"

Seeing him laying there on his back, quietly moaning, while being penetrated by another guy... it was just..... not attractive.

"Yeah, and how could it not be? if I wanted to watch gay porn I would be with my dildo and my boyfriend wouldn't be starring in it."

It's been almost three weeks now and I still feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing. I don't know what to do. I just want to forget it happened but I can't get the memories out of my head... I am having a lot of trouble seeing him the same way I saw him beforehand and I really need some advice.

"My vagina is now drier than the Sahara every time I see him. I want to get drunk and get fucked by a lumberjack with the IQ and sex drive of a gorilla in a bar restroom and forget this shit, but it's totally politically incorrect for me to dump my boyfriend because he's not enough of man, so please HamsterMating, please help me hamster a PC way that lets me dump him."