Who here is generally happy with their relationships (present and past) with women?

md619 · 2013-08-15T17:58:08+00:00

I'm definitely happier. As I've said before, the day I started implementing Redpill knowledge when dealing with women I saw almost immediately better results. And I was never some pathetic loser who couldn't get women before. There was just little consistency to it. I never knew exactly what I was doing that worked / didn't work and I was essentially just throwing all kinds of different shit out there hoping something would stick.

TRP changed that. If I fuck up, I know why I fucked up. If I get laid, I know why I got laid. People like to criticize some of the advice we give as obvious, but it really isn't. If it's obvious, then why are there so many guys who are clueless about how to attract women? How many people outside TRP and seduction community actually understand what a shit-test is and how to deal with them? How many people understand the importance of Dread and SMV in a relationship? How many people understand hypergamy, and all it's consequences? I know I didn't. And why should you? There's nothing out there to teach you this kind of stuff, save for TRP. In fact, people will actively try to convince you that it isn't true.

ekjohnson9 · 2013-08-15T17:06:28+00:00

I wasn't. That's why I sought changes and reasons for my lack of previous success. Needless to say things are going much better now.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2013-08-15T18:08:56+00:00

Most Red Pillers take responsibility for themselves and attribute their success or failure to their own attitude and behavior. Are their exceptions? Of course. But TRP is fundamentally about self-determination and accepting the world for what it is.

Bonkzzilla · 2013-08-15T21:31:44+00:00

I'll bite - I'm very happy with my relationships with women, past and present. TRP tends to tilt young so my experiences will be different from a lot of yours, but FWIW, I came into this sort of thinking long before it was a "thing" (High school in late 70's, early 80's, college in mid 80's)

In high school I had terrible relations with girls. No good memories there. I was the classic "best friend", etc, trying to get close to them and being weighed down by their complaints about the guys they were actually dating. Bleagh. But I observed that the guys who essentially were jerks to the girls GOT the girls, so I learned and adapted. When I went to college, I changed my behavior completely and treated girls in just the same way as they had complained to me about guys treating them. Big surprise - Lots of success with girls in college. I did not (I hope) actually become an asshole, but I learned not to invest much, not to pedestelize, etc. (I have a friend in his 20's who is in a constant state of turmoil about girls - wanting a girlfriend, worrying about whether they like him constantly, twittering about his relationship meltdowns, etc. My harshest advice to him was simple - "No 20-something girl wants a guy who is more emotional than she is.")

And I had great relationships with girls. I remain friends to this day with several girls I dated then, including one who I was with on and off for two years. Later, I met my wife and got married in '89. Contrary to the usual advice of TRP, I can say that I've enjoyed being married very much. We shared our 20's together, went through a lot of serious life difficulties together (loss of family, a really rough home foreclosure, building and rebuilding my own business, and more) and I can readily say that I'm happier with her today at 48 than I was at 25. She had multiple opportunities to bail and run during some of the bad times, but stuck by me, and vice versa. There are women out there who are smart and loyal, you just have to find them (My best tip - They're not in bars).

My TL;DR advice for good relations - When you're young, try to be a good guy but learn to behave a bit like a jerk. Put yourself first. When you're married, be a man. Don't be afraid to lead, but don't be a bully either. Women like the caveman approach more than they admit. Just be sure there's more to you than just that.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2013-08-15T16:50:41+00:00

So I rolled into /r/thebluepill once (I've since been banned) and tried to explain that I'm not angry or bitter, and that I don't hate women. They were incredulous: "if you don't hate women then why are you on TRP??" they asked. Well the short answer is that the advice I see given to people outside of TRP is bad advice.

I'll give an example: I got married; too young as it turns out. We both tried to make it work, but it just didn't. There at the end, one of the things we tried, you know, to "get the spark back" was getting a little bit kinky in the bedroom. Of course, it didn't work. She wasn't into it.

A few days ago, I was explaining to someone what I would call a red-pill truth and it's this: (1) all women are into kinky stuff if the conditions are right. (2) the conditions are "rightest" near the beginning of the relationship.

Years after getting divorced, my ex and I chat on facebook and it's been good; we've gotten closure about a lot of stuff. One of the things she told me once was that she wished she'd had more of an open mind about anal sex because, to quote her, "I love it now!"

Well okay, that's her explanation. But the truth is, the timing was wrong when she was with me and our relationship was already over. The truth is, if you miss that window of opportunity to learn what really turns your girl on, you can't go back and figure it out later. And the truth is, if you fail to really turn her on, she'll get bored with you.

So I'm here in TRP not because I'm angry about my own marriage. I'm here so that I can learn so that I can do better in the future. I can't learn this stuff from the people in /r/thebluepill because they don't really grok it themselves. For example, they'll read a story like mine and they'll say something sarcastic like, "TIL only TRPers have kinky sex." But that's not what I'm saying at all.

What I'm saying is, they're worldview is that men and women are the same, except that men are bad. They believe that women wont tell you what to do in the bedroom because they're worried you'll judge them. But that's a lie. Nobody that I've ever dated has ever thought for a moment that I'm judging her! The truth is, most women want you to just do it.

And that's why I'm here. Because outside of this sub, nobody will give me that advice.

redpilldude · 2013-08-15T17:25:55+00:00

I've had one bad relationship, but I don't dislike women at all. I realize that not all women are assholes. I've dated a couple women who were very nice.

I follow the Red Pill because it makes sense to me. I've seen Alpha and Beta guys in real life, and I've noticed that the Alpha guys get all the women. While women might say that they want a nice guy who has a great personality, in reality they are attracted to Alphas.

kingssman · 2013-08-15T19:55:48+00:00

I liked my summer girls when I was younger, the thing that bothers me in ltr is the boredom at the end. Mostly the falling out of sync and watching her hit that wall and become aloof. The lazy woman syndrome where pajama pants are the daily fashion and eating chips while watching the bachelor is the highlight of the week, especially when she develops the "who cares if I get fat, you should love me the way I am"

Part about the pill that is bitter is the mistake of loyalty and unconditional love, usually because it's one sided. Just because you've nabbed someone in a ltr doesn't mean you should get lazy.

ThePacketSlinger · 2013-08-15T21:55:51+00:00

I'll keep this short. I'm pretty happy. My TRP discovery, for me, wasn't as mind-blowing as most people describe it. Most of the stuff I read here is a better, more thought out and refined version of ideas that were already in my head. There are some specifics that come up that I may disagree with, or that I'm surprised I've never thought of myself. For me, discovering TRP was like "oh, these guys actually seem to know what they're talking about and give half-way decent advice".

bigyellowtwinki · 2013-08-15T17:45:46+00:00

I can't speak for anyone else, but for myself, I was only bitter for a short time when I was still completely beta. The Chateau and Vox Day's blogs revealed the truth to me why I was having trouble with women, and now that I am much more confident of myself and have been red pill for awhile I don't look down on women, I just understand that they do what they can to get ahead in life like everyone else, and that they're very biologically driven (as Athol Kay says, "whatever's best for baby"). I also found that stoic philosophy helped a lot when it came to accepting that people don't think or behave like you want or think they should, and that I should only concerned with my own virtue.

markgbx · 2013-08-15T20:28:49+00:00

I feel about the same. I still love women. As maddening and silly as they are, they're our perfect compliment, provided both parties are psychologically/sexually healthy, confident beings who know and love their own roles within the relationship.

With that said, before I was blessed with TRP, I too feel like I short changed a couple of potentially awesome relationships in my past because of lack of clarity. It bites at me sometimes, the whole missing out of it all. But hey, shrug it off, right?

And to answer your original question, I'm happy with my relationship. I did the obligatory making up for lost time, or man-whoring, as my wife of two years likes to call it. Haha. The catch is that without TRP, I'd have never landed a girl like her. Even if I'd goten her to go out with me, I'd have probably fucked it up out of sheer dumbassedness.

Talkshitgethit · 2013-08-16T01:04:48+00:00

I'm happy ini the fact that I've learned from my past mistakes. I used to have pussy on a pedestal that was higher than Willie Nelson on Mt. Everest. But with each relationship, I learned a little something and TRP kicked the door down and I'm happy I had those failed relationships, because I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

rapscallionx · 2013-08-16T02:06:50+00:00

I'm pretty neutral. I'm neither happy or unhappy. I've learned a lot about women from interacting with them. I've also enjoyed the plentiful of sex. I'd say I'm more worried about the future. Possibly being taken advantage of or having my life ruined. I've seen or heard of it happening far too many times. Other than that my only complaint with women is their the bloated sense of entitlement, work ethic, their negative effect on society, and the affect they have on the people I see them take advantage of.

I can sum up every relationship or sexual encounter with a woman using one of two sentences: "well, the sex was good" or "yeah, it's probably better that we don't see each other any more"..

Maybe I'm just lucky but so far I have no lasting regret with any of my relationships... That isn't to say that they weren't all spycho cunts... because they were lol. It's just that none of them have broken me yet.

Amuro_Rey · 2013-08-16T08:27:15+00:00

I'm quite happy, there is still some room for improvement (but really is there ever not?) but I'm lightyears ahead of where I thought I would be.

2013-08-16T09:05:24+00:00

With the benefit of hindsight I can say that I've had good times with a few women and bad times with a bit more. The failure points of the relationship that gives me the most regret were issues of having too much bluepillness in me; the girl was actually taking measures to try and pull me out of it. I think I'm in the same boat as you, the "I could have done better" hindsight was the ultimate drive into the manosphere. If anything I owe that lost girl some gratitude for planting these thoughts into my head in the first place, most of her efforts to change me were in the redpill direction, a stark contrast to the other women's attempts to take advantage. I was lucky to have met her and a couple really submissive women that apparently saw some potential in my and were trying to coax it out, they'd lose patience with it and dump me quite painfully.

Since falling down the rabbit hole, my recent runnings with women have completely different failure points that I initiated myself. A girl that didn't respect my borders with respect to mixing into my family's drama, another that tried to manipulate our interactions into a serious exclusive thing way too quickly by getting angry, another that just had a different view of the world than me who was otherwise alright but wouldn't have worked out in the long term, the list goes on. But all of them seemed to really want me, a change over the dynamic I had dealt with before. I'd end things with girls and it would break their hearts, every one of them cries. That is the part I feel bad about because I don't like hurting them.

That is the rub for me currently, I've gotten more specific in what I want and although I am better equipped and less hesitant to take shots at getting it, I haven't really found anything I like enough to keep around for long enough to consider it a relationship per se. I like this problem much more though, I've met women that were desperate to be in a relationship with me, but I haven't managed to score any that I'd like to be in a relationship with. Things keep happening that make me not want it, mainly excessive commitment pressure and manipulative redflagging type behavior.

Piranhapoodle · 2013-08-17T13:15:13+00:00

TRP is many different people with different opinions. Some are very obviously stereotyping, generalizing and prejudicing against women. There is a connection between this type of behavior and low status or the need to feel better about oneself/more powerful. Comments directed at this like "you're bitter" or "you're unsuccessful" are therefore not necessarily shaming tactics, they can make sense.

cozycoffeecake · 2013-08-17T20:56:59+00:00

I am happy with my past relationships. I know going into a relationship of a lot of the mindgames and other tactics a woman may employ; and I am self-assured to know when to end one if they try to cross one of my barriers and the relationship is no longer salvageable. But I don't hate those women, they are what they are. I am not without my flaws either.

verysuper · 2013-08-15T17:14:18+00:00

I've been generally happy in all my long term relationships, but TRP taught me never to get married.

Pushnikov · 2013-08-15T23:34:56+00:00

I've swallowed no red pill, ban me away. This sentence is probably a troll pattern on the Glossary of Shaming Tactics. I'm not here to troll, merely provide a overview of the relationships of someone who has not adhered to the life style. Then again this also probably marks me as a troll on the shaming tactics manual. I frankly can't be bothered to read the thing sorry about that.

I would not consider myself particularly attractive. I have a stable job, very decently paying too. I used to be very, very fat. I've since cut down on weight a lot. Not particularly athletic. When I was fat I really wasn't in the game, I really felt like I had no interest. It wasn't that fact that made me lose weight, that was because of medical ultimatums and stuff that could ultimately cost me my life.

I have profound ideological beliefs, mostly about equality and the role of women. I believe that we all should be free to chase after whatever role we fill would fulfill us most. I do not give any weight to the claims of a biological bias for man to be dominant and women submissive. They may be true for all I care, but it doesn't really matter to me. I know what I want out of a relationship and I know what my goals are, in that respect I guess im alpha as fuck.

What I seek most of all is companionship. Someone to talk to, to participate in activities of my interest with and that really brings a smile to my face just from being with them. Someone who it is pleasant to be around with and who feels the same about me. I do not believe in a chain of command. I will not surrender my will, but I will not be with someone who wants to surrender their will to me. That's a real turn off to me: can't you really control your life that you need someone to make the final calls for you?

I will not go out of my way to surrender to your every whim. I do however find it very, very gratifying to do one of those extremely nice acts that nobody actually expects you to do. I don't expect anything in return for those of course.

I will allow myself a small (big?) narcissism: I do believe that I'm above average in most intellectual activities. I find great pleasure in discussing about a wide array of subjects. One of my most rewarding relationships was with a girl majoring in philosophy. She knew much more than I of course but I learned a lot. It also helped that she was into Math at the time, which was one of my subjects of expertise.

Now here's the thing about my sexual life: I don't really think I have a strong libido. Don't take me wrong, I love sex, but I don't love it from just about anybody. I am an hopeless idealist when it comes to sex, I feel that if we're gonna have it, I might as well make it something as close to perfect for both of us as possible. Half the fun of it is in the process that builds up to it. This probably limit the amount of sexual activity I get: I don't find that too troublesome. Maybe I'm in denial?

Ultimately I only believe in relationships where both people are fully into it. If for some reason I feel my partner isn't too much into it that begins to seriously degrade the quality of the relationship to me. I don't really believe in marriage, even after moving together. I like to be free to leave when I feel the relationship is over, I like the fact my partner feels the same freedom. I don't believe in extremely long-term relationships. I accept the fact it's entirely possible my partner will lose interest in me, and I know that given enough time I will most likely also lose interest in her. Breakups are for me an almost certain part of a relationship. Sometimes it can be hard, but that's why I keep a bar of chocolate in the fridge.

2013-08-15T19:30:44+00:00

My personal philosophy has always been one of personal responsibility and autonomy, and a conviction that I could live life on my terms as long as I refused to compromise. Long before the TRP movement existed, I was reading John Norman. Before him, I was reading Heinlein. Before I was reading Heinlein, my parents were teaching me to ignore societal groupthink and figure out for myself what was right and wrong.

I've never been unhappy in a relationship because I've always ended things if it became apparent that it would become so. "Don't go away mad; just go away."

I suspect most of the anger/bitterness lies with men who harbored a toxic feminist worldview and then were painfully disillusioned.

HeadingRed · 2013-08-15T21:36:13+00:00

Not generally happy, but not bitter. I will say in my 20's I was NAWALT. In my 40's I am firmly AWALT. Once you get to AWALT you get surprised and disappointed less often. This will greatly improve your mental health.

2013-08-15T18:33:08+00:00

present. i don't categorically hate all women or think they are categorically inferior to men, but i sure don't like, respect, or trust all women. i've even been hit with a false assault charge that seriously screwed up my college years, but i'm over it. that was one woman who abused her privilege in the legal system, and i've learned how to avoid women like that. genuine women do exist, but they're harder to find because there's little (no?) material incentive for women to be honest and honorable in relationships with men. the bitterness completely ebbed when i embraced the reality of the modern male-female dynamic. there's no sense in wasting emotion on trends you can't change.

soapjackal · 2013-08-15T18:54:32+00:00

In all my relationships with women the only ones that end up bothering me are the ones were she has a large amount of power over me (bosses, school admistrators, family, ect ect) when we were on equal footing I would just act dominant and there was no problem I couldn't get past.

Clauderoughly · 2013-08-15T20:35:25+00:00

I am very happily married to a wonderful red pill wife.

2013-08-15T22:30:23+00:00

Actually in retrospect, the last "serious" gf I had 6 years ago was goddamn fun. Went through a 6 year incel period though, so clearly I didn't come out of it quite right. I shoulda broke up with her a whole lot sooner and moved on sooner. But she kinda had everything I'm still looking for: short, cute, blonde, smiley, and young. Fantastic puppy dog, really. So I'd like more experiences with women like that only even cuter and better-looking.

VZPurp · 2013-08-16T00:20:17+00:00

My relationships with women are much better now. I never had trouble attracting women, but I wasn't really aware of the subtleties of male-female interactions, or even how I should conduct myself as a man (no positive male role models).

Relationships are on my terms and I see a variety of women. I will not be turning back to my old ways.

JohnPeel · 2013-08-16T01:08:05+00:00

My last ex cheated on me with a woman and assaulted me.

Don't date girls with BPD and depression basically.

2013-08-16T07:55:38+00:00

I'm still coming to terms with the idea that a true partnership with a woman is an impossibility. In the meantime, I'm breaking in some younger women.

macardent · 2013-08-16T12:37:28+00:00

I wouldn't say I hate women. But I kind of don't respect most of them. I have been cheated in my only 2 relationships. And there was one other girl who used me to get some other guy.

One of the shit-tests that I got from my ex girlfriend was "I would never love you as much as my ex" my response was I acted hurt, almost cried. What it should have been "Well, then I must better find someone who would"

My relationship with that girl was going good until that. Because I always knew and acted like I could do so much better. And that I had other girls chasing me down.

I never knew about shit test until I stumbled upon /r/TheRedPill. And I have been searching for answers since my last breakup which was a year and a half ago.

So to answer your question I don't hate them but I truly believe that they are stupid and smart at the same time. If you don't understand and learn these tactics and develop this mindset you will most likely have shitty relationships and would always end up being cheated on. YOU NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS.

I come from a very cultured family and was thought to be a nice guy/ a gentleman but I have developed my own definitions of those ever since I started taking The Red Pill.

2013-08-16T13:44:25+00:00

My relationship is now a dictatorship and I am the Dictator, don't like it? See ya babe

watersign · 2013-08-16T08:37:06+00:00

im not, i cant have a relationship with women, im a womanizer and only view them as objects for my desires.

Title	Who here is generally happy with their relationships (present and past) with women?
Author	nicethingyoucanthave
Upvotes	34
Comments	68
Date	August 15, 2013 4:36 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1kfe56/who_here_is_generally_happy_with_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/who-here-is-generally-happy-with-their.6294 https://theredarchive.com/post/6294