Two questions: too feminine for workplace and too masculine for men

loveofthegame1 · 2020-05-30T03:45:08+00:00

[deleted]

travlingsomewhere · 2020-05-30T03:52:07+00:00

I’m a space nerd too. Pretty excited about the space X launch tomorrow. Hopefully everything goes smoothly.

Off topic my b

nocreativity729 · 2020-05-29T23:56:25+00:00

Who cares if they think you’re coming onto him. Do the job that you love. Don’t let them infringe upon your existence as a female who does great work. If you would feel better, get some beautiful neutral toned clothing. Doesn’t need to be black and grey. You could do some creams and taupes in the mix. Be a successful feminine queen.
You will need to find a man as talented if not more talented than you in the work place. You are not too masculine for a really masculine man. However, you will need to still allow them to take the lead in the courtship. These men most of all will want to be with a feminine lady. Let them do things for you. Do your best to make them happy. All of the nurturing things. And then wear whatever you want! But no truly terrific alpha man wants to be with a woman who brings herself down to attract him. Be you, be awesome. And just be sweet and nurturing when you are with him. It’s hard at first but it will get easier and you will grow to enjoy him taking care of you.

I’m a software engineer. My boyfriend is a very, EXCELLENT software engineer. Did I feel silly sitting on my hands and waiting for his calls at first? Or letting him zip up my winter coat when I have my own two hands? Yes... but you can do it and it’s worth it. Good luck!!

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2020-05-30T08:54:28+00:00

I don’t know of any man who would look at you and think “oh wow she’s an aerospace engineer? Ew, that’s so masculine”. The only people who that might cause you problems with are the people who are insecure about their professions, or men who will think that you may not consider them because they earn less.

As for your looks: just wear professional clothes and speak professionally. All you can do is make sure that if someone takes things the wrong way that there is no base for their claims. Overall the important thing is that you are qualified and capable. That will outweigh anything short of egregious in the long term.

-sosedka- · 2020-05-31T03:35:08+00:00

Hey, also engineer here, in a very male dominated field. I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard to balance masculine energy and it sips into my personal life all the time. I try to maintain the balance and not let the work convert me into something that I need to be when I work. I haven’t found a silver bullet, but I actively try to do a lot more feminine stuff and wear dresses, etc. it is uncomfortable at times to switch, but ultimately it’s like smiling — sometimes you smile when you are happy, sometimes smiling makes you happier.

For number one — I actually mastered that one. I am also quite attractive, but I figured out how to send a signal that I am not interested and make them not interested. It’s a combination of few things: - even though it’s casual work place I keep it classy, that sets me apart as a bit colder, work focused person - in that same note, when I speak to men who sorta obviously capable of hitting on coworkers, I channel this aristocratic, classy, queenly energy, like I am talking to some gentlemen at public event. I would describe it as... polite? This coldness opposes sexuality in my mind, and works like a charm. I really only do it with a few people - similarly I would pick others profiles of energy that aren’t attractive — with closer male friends I’d be more on a “buddy” vibe, you can be also motherly, etc. a bunch of vibes out there that are friendly and attractive but not sexual.

I did meet my husband at work (I wasn’t really trying to not attract him though 🤣)and he def likes how I look at the world, admires my technical abilities, etc. It took us a while to find the good balance. It really helped that he was very gentlemanly, successful, traditional leaning to begin with. So it’s definitely possible. I was also really clear with him in what I look for pretty early on, so that helped a bunch, and helped to work through things earlier (although we were friends before and were already in love when we were discussing this).

TheBunk_TB · 2020-06-01T01:34:49+00:00

Many guys would be worried that you would live to work. This is endemic in the professional focused world. (or at least a smart man would have a problem seeing where he fits in). It isnt always the career type.

DependentLaw · 2020-06-02T14:49:48+00:00

Kudos to Areospace Engineering (also my field 🤗) I can say from experience it takes a lot longer for you to earn the trust of men in the workplace a lot of them have had terrible experiences with women, they've seen what happens to men who get too close to female co-workers and they are scared of female co-workers (thanks to feminism and metoo) it's a slow process to earn their respect and trust but by continuously not making advances and not reporting them for everything they do, they will start to trust and respect you.

Not every woman will end their working life when they marry, not every woman is suited to be a SAHM not every woman is suited to work behind a desk, I think these groups need to stop tearing at each other's throats and respect the choices of their fellow women personally if I get married I will want out of my job but it's ok not to. A good partner will respect that.

loveofthegame1 · 2020-05-30T00:02:16+00:00

Can you tell me what moments/words/actions/examples that have indicated that men have believed you are signaling or flirting with them at your workplace? Also did this occur actually inside of the workplace where they believe you were doing that, or is it through text convos of some sort?

I feel for you, so would like to give my input if you can share some more info.

Edit: Read the rules. Changed a few words.

cornycatlady · 2020-05-30T02:40:08+00:00

I think r/girlsgonewired will be able to address #1 better

Title	Two questions: too feminine for workplace and too masculine for men
Author	gatorbaby22
Upvotes	31
Comments	21
Date	May 29, 2020 9:37 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gt1usl/two_questions_too_feminine_for_workplace_and_too/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/two-questions-too-feminine-for-workplace-and-too.670205 https://theredarchive.com/post/670205

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