No longer developing feelings for men

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-06-08T07:49:09+00:00

[deleted]

LeprikonPaprikon · 2020-06-08T07:02:25+00:00

I have also realized that love is extremely rare. Attraction on the other hand is not, but that thing fades away quickly.

curlygirl507 · 2020-06-08T05:53:54+00:00

I'm right there with you - unable to develop romantic feelings. I do believe in love, but I think it's extremely rare. 99.9% of the time it's bullshit.

I just consider myself lucky to have found my soulmate early in life even though I lost him just a few years later. Most people don't even get that.

I don't expect to have a relationship in the future or get married. The world is unfortunately full of predatory men and I'm not going to put up with their behaviors.

Saitschik · 2020-06-08T08:36:05+00:00

I think it's good and a sign that you are growing as a person. Having a crush is usually a result of being naive and insecure. And having butterflies for a LVM is self-harm.

You might will fall in love again but only with someone who has proven himself over a longer period of time. This is to your benefit.

understatedalways · 2020-06-08T13:19:49+00:00

I mean frankly, 99 percent of men just aren’t worth my time. As soon as I see any red flag now, I’m out. It can be as simple as them asking me on a drink date, mentioning that I’m sexy, or asking for a “no makeup” selfie. Instant block. I think FDS has been good for weeding out all the bullshit. If they can’t even be a gentleman with texting, they definitely won’t treat me well so why bother.

SuperbHalf · 2020-06-08T06:29:37+00:00

I have more romantic feelings toward other women, tbh.

I'm hoping my bi self might become more open to falling longterm with another woman. It's taken a few months - I've always thought I liked men more. But I do have more genuine connections with other women. Best realization of 2020 tbh. Everything else has been very upsetting...

divdec · 2020-06-08T10:29:17+00:00

Men don’t give me butterflies, just straight up anxiety. I now assume that most men are secretly liars, cheaters, manipulators, porn addicts, misogynists, and low key pedophiles. I’m not ready to date and won’t be for a long time. I want to be at the point where I don’t feel the least bit excited if a man asks me out.

Hhjjuuy · 2020-06-08T10:43:10+00:00

If butterflies are the extent of the feelings you had before I don't think you've lost anything of value.

girludontbringhome · 2020-06-08T17:06:38+00:00

I don’t think it’s FDS. I haven’t had a crush on anyone since my first boyfriend and we met almost 3 years ago (prior to him though I had 3 crushes in my first two years of college). In hindsight I didn’t even like my second ex that much (unfortunately) but it was the closest feeling I had to having a crush again. I have guys I’ve talked to here and there, but I knew that I didn’t like them enough to be in a relationship with them. It’s definitely somewhat sad not to have those really intense crushes anymore, I wonder if it’s age/maturity because I realize most men are LVM (however 2/3 crushes I had before my ex have been in LTR and LDR since, they seem like good bfs based on social media who knows though). I have also been in very female dominated settings since my first ex boyfriend and I broke up and I haven’t been super active on OLD. I also anticipated possibly moving soon so I didn’t really want to get involved with anyone (also why second ex was a fluke). I am moving to a completely new city soon so we will see how that goes, but I have video chatted with some guys that are going to be in my class and I’m not attracted to them. I guess we’ll see if those feelings ever come back 🤷‍♀️

veruscka · 2020-06-08T17:33:26+00:00

I feel the same way, and honestly it’s been so great for my mental health to be peaceful and drama free. I guess it’s less “exciting” than getting butterflies for someone you’re talking to, but consider the fact those feelings are unsustainable so it’s better to protect yourself in the beginning.

hilariouslystated · 2020-06-08T17:43:16+00:00

YES. Since I joined FDS, I'm much less of the hopeless romantic that I once was. In my pickmeisha days, every time I met a new guy, I would immediately develop feelings for him and my mind would race with all the possibilities of our future happy life together. Now when I meet a new guy, I have zero expectations. If at any point in the courting and dating phase, I find that a guy is not up to my standard, I can easily part with him and think nothing of it instead of holding out for the possibilities I had imagined with him. It's made my life so much easier. It's made me not idealize a potential romantic partner, which is actually a little toxic.

ayhtdws1989 · 2020-06-09T05:28:38+00:00

iv surprisingly no interest in guys. i focus on myself alot more. my hobbies,my passions and my life.some friends still talk abou cute guys they see and i swear to god i have 0 enthusiasm to talk abt trash. i have been reading alot more. focusing on my family and money

Title	No longer developing feelings for men
Author	TradcatAlice
Upvotes	108
Comments	27
Date	June 8, 2020 1:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gypjhv/no_longer_developing_feelings_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/no-longer-developing-feelings-for-men.674253 https://theredarchive.com/post/674253

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