How to have a secret bank account from your SO?

Sage_Planter · 2020-06-03T15:19:53+00:00

This is why you need a prenup. Since you have considerable assets, you should speak with a family law attorney in your jurisdiction to learn about the laws in your area and how best to protect yourself.

TimWhortons · 2020-06-03T16:31:48+00:00

If you want to purchase property with the money do it now and make sure its only in your name, get a prenup that protects all premarital assets and keep a paper trail of the mortgage payments you make (this is if they try to argue that the down payment was made before the marriage but that the final installments were a joint effort). Talk to a lawyer or do some research about the laws in your area regarding property and assets in the case of a divorce.

If you don't get a prenup you leave yourself open to potential legal troubles because hiding assets during a divorce is (in most places) illegal. I would suggest getting the house in a parents name so that he can't touch it all in the case of a divorce. Everyone has their own preferences, but the most forward advice I can give is a straight forward prenup.

heliodrome · 2020-06-03T15:37:11+00:00

Prenup time. Get a lawyer.

DejaBlue_Chump · 2020-06-03T15:38:13+00:00

The amount you have saved up is considerable. If you purchase property with that money, get married, and then divorced, your (then) ex would likely be entitled to half of that property asset. See a lawyer immediately to find out how to safeguard it.

If the lawyer recommends a prenup, do it. I got divorced last year, and learned the hard way what happens if you don't have your assets protected; I lost almost everything and got financially ruined by a partner who spent my savings without my knowledge.

thedevinefemme · 2020-06-03T16:54:14+00:00

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TheQueenOfDeadHearts · 2020-06-03T16:47:22+00:00

I literally just had an idea about this while reading your post. Someone else posted a similar question a few days ago and I guess my brain was working the problem in the background, so I haven't looked into specifics yet & it will vary depending on where you are. But this is definitely an important question particularly in places (like someone mentioned filing taxes as married in Canada, it basically makes it impossible to hide your income) where the law requires you to disclose assets even if they are separate.

So, my idea is to form a corporation, in the US the best type is probably an LLC, and put the bulk of your assets into that and make yourself the sole manager/member. You are investing in your own company but once the money is there, it belongs to a different legal entity than yourself and is treated differently by law. You will have to decide what your company "does", and there may be some minor prerequisites & limitations for using the money once it's in the company, but it will be much safer not formally under your name. There are more unscrupulous uses for this which I'm not going to get into and do not recommend, but I do suggest you research the basics of corporate formation and definitely consult a lawyer to answer any questions/anticipate any issues specific to your situation. (NAL and no contract implied by this suggestion, I just wish you success!)

honeybeeroll · 2020-06-03T19:26:46+00:00

Whatever bank account it's in, make sure you have paperless communication so if you do get married, he can't see any statements in the mail.

And yeah, if you want to make sure this money always stays yours, get a prenup before you get married. Otherwise he'll be entitled to your assets (as you would be to his)

gigi_chi · 2020-06-03T16:59:49+00:00

In my state all assets before marriage are yours .

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-06-03T17:49:05+00:00

I’m pretty sure that unless you get a joint bank account, he won’t “know” of your assets. You can also open up a new account with a different bank and store a small sum there for him to see. If you do get a joint bank account, hide your personal debit card at your parents house or anywhere else.

AngieinWisconsin · 2020-06-03T17:50:06+00:00

....In most cases if you bring something(asset ) in to a marriage, you take it out. When you Co-mingle, this gets tricky. Hiding assets is a big no-no in divorce, so...talk to a lawyer. Beforehand.

livingup2020 · 2020-06-04T16:11:22+00:00

Yes always have a secret a bank account. Why does he need to know how much money you have? Is he marrying you for money?

SuchBarracuda · 2020-06-06T04:03:44+00:00

If the conversation comes up in the future about just how much you have.. (big sign of plotting and using your money to do so) you put it in a trust or some other non liquid ... long term yielding asset

Myplummms · 2020-06-11T18:35:40+00:00

I’m not sure about the answer, but I congratulate you on having your shit together. So often, rose-colored glasses with the best intentions hurt us in the long run.

Jasminov1 · 2020-06-03T16:15:00+00:00

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