Did you ever experience true love?

kumquat_fds · 2020-05-02T11:35:29+00:00

I believe I did, but I gave it to the wrong people.

brainsandb00bs · 2020-05-02T12:09:18+00:00

I don’t think so. They claimed they loved me I just don’t believe it

2340000 · 2020-05-02T12:13:30+00:00

[deleted]

cantstopthemachine77 · 2020-05-02T15:00:03+00:00

If you had asked me this 5 years ago I would have said yes and claimed that every serious relationship involved love on both our parts, but that’s when I was a deluded libfem ignorant of mens true nature.

So the answer now is a big resounding NO

blackopium777 · 2020-05-02T12:34:06+00:00

I experience it since I met my husband. Besides my parents, he is the only person I 100% believe to love me. Also our love is based on respect, which I think is the most important thing in a relationship.

Ink3dmama · 2020-05-02T12:49:59+00:00

I do with my fiancé, the only person I’ve experienced it with. It’s hard to describe, honestly. But I feel secure, confident, safe, adored, respected, wanted, etc. I’ve never questioned his love for me, he shows me every day not just in what he says but how he acts and treats me.

Sisi21cent · 2020-05-02T15:22:03+00:00

Never from a man. Only from my grandma.

(I was told I was loved by men, but it was never true)

ErikaNaumann · 2020-05-02T21:33:56+00:00

Never from a boyfriend.

But I experience true love from my family and my cats.

Notanalt4859384 · 2020-05-02T12:14:21+00:00

It's definitely a real thing, and it's pretty great

LadyGrimes · 2020-05-02T16:19:25+00:00

Yes and I miss it every day of my life.

throw248348 · 2020-05-02T22:54:38+00:00

I don't think so - I'm in my 20s and I think these men are just too stupid rn

venomoth91 · 2020-05-02T20:03:30+00:00

I felt like I had that with my college sweetheart. We broke up when I graduated because our life goals for after college weren’t really compatible, but it was very incredible two-year relationship.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-05-03T00:38:30+00:00

No. That's for men. They invented romance while they were legislating our rights away.

2020-05-02T14:01:03+00:00

Only with women.

Deep-Blackberry · 2020-05-03T01:47:07+00:00

Nope. I can't say that I have, because the actions definitely did not match, while claiming to love me.

r3dl3opard · 2020-05-03T06:44:16+00:00

I thought I did. We were married for 15 years & he cheated on me. So I guess my answer is no... & I have no idea what true love is anymore.

jayemadd · 2020-05-03T04:47:27+00:00

I did. Glimpses. While he and I were both in therapy--seperately working on our own issues--and together. He was keeping up with his medications (Bipolar type 1), and I was working through my issues surrounding myself, body image, etc. I was in school, working, and we were building a screen printing business together. The foundation of our relationship is that we actually got along really well as friends before we even dated. Just clicked, read each other's minds. Conversations flowed. We understood each other's chaos. I think that's what still glued us together long after the love died.

But, I was very unhappy in our first apartment and pushed for us to move to a different one. Repeatedly I asked if he was on board, telling him if he wasn't that I would back off and just redecorate or something. He said he was okay with moving.

The minute we moved, EVERYTHING was a fucking disaster. Everything was my fault. The radiators would break: my fault. Hot water heater broke: my fault. We had a fucking polar vortex one year: my fault. Don't get me wrong, that apartment ended up being a unique hell, but it was moreso the town and not the actual property. I was just as unhappy as he was, but unlike him, I wasn't blaming someone for things that couldn't be controlled. We'd have endless fights on why we moved, or "Why I forced him to move" and I felt like I was on trial pleading my case that I asked him several times to TELL ME if he didn't want to. I know I can become obsessed with a new idea and carried away, but just bring me back to earth and I'll chill.

So, the love and feeling like a team just slowly rotted away over the 3 years we lived in that apartment together. It got to the point where we didn't even say "I love you" or kiss each other goodbye. The straw that broke the camel's back for me is when his good female friend, who had hated me since day one for absolutely no reason, told him point blank that she did not want me to be present at the birthday party she was having.... at the bar I worked at. He told me, I calmly said, "Okay, cool. I get off at 10 anyway." The entire night his whole Snapchat story was filled with them all celebrating, taking shots, playing pool, etc.

At that point I was 99.9% checked out. A few days after that night, we were just talking in the kitchen, and I asked him why he didn't even defend me against blank when she blatantly disrespected me? I have never done a thing to disrespect this woman, but he did warn me when we started dating that she had been "in love" with him since high school (don't they all seem to have stories like that?). I told him I was hurt by it, that it's a low blow, but it's done and over with. I just wanted to know why he didn't even say anything.

Well, he blew the FUCK up. Got centimeters away from my face screaming that how DARE I should even question something like that. Fuck me for even DOUBTING his love and honor for me. I should be GRATEFUL to have a man like him at my side.

Done.

The rest of the story doesn't end so hot. Physical fight. Cooling off period. I saw it as a sign we were absolutely incompatable. He saw it as our "rock bottom" and we could only go up from there. The break up was... bad. An old crush from my past entered my life and I strayed. That lasted about as long as oxytocin does (<2 years).

In the end, years later, I did find out he had stopped going to therapy and stopped taking his medication around the time we moved into the new place. I should've suspected, because he was deathly afraid of needles and I usually had to go with him for blood draws to test his lithium levels. Oh well.

BetterSnow · 2020-05-03T02:34:43+00:00

I would say yes with my current partner. His love for me feels unconditional, I can see that he respects me, listens to me and willing to put down his ego for me.

It feels... nourishing, he is always encouraging me to love myself and accept myself. Sometimes I would pester him with questions such as "what happens when I grow old and become unattractive anymore?" which he would reply "You are still you and I will still love you" and "why do you love me?" and he reply: "Because you are you"

Before knowing him, I never quite understood what "I love you for you" means but he helped me to understand it.. I used to always say "Words are cheap yada yada" but I can feel the sincerity in his words... and my mindset kinda shifted. Words may be cheap but he sure backed it up with little actions.. eg, putting everything down to listen to me when I talk to him about serious matters or just my own feeling/emotional stuff, showering me with many random kisses on my cheeks or even back of my palm regardless if we are at home or outside in public, actively listening to my point of view when we have (small) disagreements and be understanding instead of defensive, etc

I feel that both him and I just want each other to be happy no matter what happens or however sh*t hits the fan, and I would say this is true love..

other info: I'm 21, he's 27, we met on tinder 15 months ago, entered monogamous relationship 8 months ago.

Title	Did you ever experience true love?
Author	PurpleWaves1
Upvotes	45
Comments	21
Date	May 2, 2020 11:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gc4zwj/did_you_ever_experience_true_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/did-you-ever-experience-true-love.677099 https://theredarchive.com/post/677099

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