What is wrong with drink dates exactly?

opalkhaleesi · 2020-02-22T15:40:53+00:00

I’ve left in the middle of an expensive/high effort date and I’ll do it again

mshourglasss · 2020-02-22T16:06:08+00:00

It’s super low effort to me. When I told a guy I didn’t drink after her offered a night out of drinking and instead said I’d rather do a dinner or some other planned activity, he told me he doesn’t do that on first dates cause it’s not “casual”.

So getting drunk with an absolute stranger is casual but eating food is not? Fuck yourself.

“Casual” is code for I want to spend the LEAST amount of effort and money on you to see if I can get you drunk enough to coerce you into sex. Basically saying he’s willing to spend $23 max (inc tip cuz they usually just ply you with cheap shots and mixed drinks instead of buying a decent bottle of wine) for some cooch, your cooch sis.

I blocked and deleted. Ew. I don’t do drink dates

omccaff3 · 2020-02-22T16:28:58+00:00

[deleted]

PrettyCicada · 2020-02-22T15:46:04+00:00

The purpose of first dates is to get a man to invest in you in order to weed out fuckboys and make him feel the need to prove himself to you. Drink dates make it far too easy for him.

psychsense · 2020-02-22T16:29:48+00:00

Because your intentions aren’t the same as his. You’re thinking this but he’s thinking “what’s the cheapest way to get her into bed with me?” Obviously happy hour drinks are a two for one deal for them because they don’t spend money on a meal and get you to lower your inhibitions and expectations as you drink.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-02-22T15:27:40+00:00

The problem with drink dates is the potential for getting drunk.

Also, we're looking for high effort partners at FDS.

PurblWasp · 2020-02-22T16:53:50+00:00

Read the FDS handbook linked near the top of the subreddit. Here is the post covering this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dbgjbj/drink_dates_dont_do_them_if_youre_looking_for_a/

randomgirlimok · 2020-02-22T16:50:19+00:00

Drink dates are just their way of buying you enough alcohol that you get drunk enough to have sex with them

SuperStar1124 · 2020-02-22T18:37:07+00:00

I’ve just recently decided against drinks dates, no matter how much I might like the guy.

I did a few “drinks dates” with a guy. He seemed normal enough. We hooked up after a few months of drinks dates. Days afterwards, he started getting cold on me. When I pushed back on this, he said that he was refraining from seeing me or communicating with me because he was actually just “looking for someone cool to chill with”. He also said that he has a very busy work schedule (this was never a problem before we had sex, he had plenty of time!). He apologised for “misleading” me since he said that he was looking for a relationship when we matched on OLD and expressed hope that we could be friends!

I thanked him for being forthright and just simply blocked and deleted him.

I will never ever go on drinks dates ever again. They are low effort and are used by guys who are looking for an easy and cheap route to sex.

ETA: The sex was sub par and he barely lasted 5 minutes each time.

LadyHormoneMonster · 2020-02-22T18:46:16+00:00

I’m a firm believer that action dates lead to better experiences. For example, the local food festival probably brought out fun jokes and a bigger glimpse into your natural personalities. If your bf had only done the typical drink date, you may not have had that extra chemistry.

For the male lurkers: it’s not about cost, it’s about experience. “Wanna get a drink?” isn’t special or fun.

AyemHerself · 2020-02-22T20:19:23+00:00

I'd be okay with a coffee date for that reason, but only for the first date.

Alcohol is known to lower inhibitions, making it a poor choice for a first date activity.

AffectionateEchidna5 · 2020-02-22T16:35:23+00:00

For me, I do not like eating out with people I don't know. Drinks especially so since it's easy for a guy to take you to a place his friend works at and slip you something. I'm also very high energy. I need dates that require you to move around.

Drinks are incredibly cheap and since the point is to get him to invest I believe you don't need to do it with food. Get him to invest in you. If you met him on OLD and you say you like hiking. Then why isn't a hiking date on his list for you. Stuff like that.

Tl;Dr: it's not the drinks that the issue it's the low effort, uncreative, tasteless behavior that comes with "hey, let's go out tonight and grab drinks ;)"

kekeronnii · 2020-02-22T18:13:05+00:00

I don’t think every first date that involves drinking has bad intentions (although some are). It’s a norm in many places especially with OLD to ‘break the ice’. My issue with drink dates is that if I get a bit tipsy I might start thinking I like the guy and then on the second date , when going on a sober date, realize there was no spark and it was just the alcohol. This has happened to me multiple times, so I’d rather start off with something that doesn’t involve drugs so my judgment won’t be messy.

Title	What is wrong with drink dates exactly?
Author	HighIQHaver
Upvotes	0
Comments	20
Date	February 22, 2020 2:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f7t7h0/what_is_wrong_with_drink_dates_exactly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-is-wrong-with-drink-dates-exactly.681732 https://theredarchive.com/post/681732

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