I'm married to a HVM. I'm here because (a) I think this sub is pretty great and (b) I learn a lot about dating life... I never knew car dates had become a thing before this sub... and (c) I really hope I can give good advice. The kind of stuff I wish I'd known when I was younger, and which resulted in my relationship now.

The event that truly convinced me my now-husband is HV, even though he already seemed to have all the traits... well, I just don't trust superficial things (including good behavior when someone hasn't actually faced a hard unpredictable test yet), so this is the thing that finally convinced me I liked the idea of marriage. I'd previously decided I never wanted to get married to a man. (I'm bi. I was open to marrying a woman.)

I had a severe and very unexpected medical emergency in his presence. He got me to the hospital and then stayed in the hospital with me for several days, calling off work. I... did not look my best... to put it lightly. I was in no mental position to engage in any sort of strategy. But he was there. And he was kind. And the only time he left the hospital was to go get me some stuff from my place. Then when it was all over he drove me home and stayed there for a few days, to make sure I was okay.

That was the thing that made me realize that maybe marriage might actually be a good idea.

I thought of this because there was a post lately about how important it is to watch how a man behaves when you are sick.