Cut this behavior off quick. No accountability for their actions and resorting to manipulation is a RED FLAG.

Itchy-Transportation · 2019-12-10T03:38:33+00:00

bleh. i was texting this guy for a few days, he started getting very attached very early on (we had never met), and so i told him i wasn't seeking out a serious relationship right now. he started saying how he feels like a fucking failure, i'm making him cry, he'll never find someone, he feels like a pos. i end up trying to comfort him about my own rejection? cue 20 min later and he's texting me all angry heated about how i "played him", looking for me to apologize.

birkin-babe · 2019-12-10T01:51:43+00:00

My ex totally used to do this shit. He would behave atrociously, start an argument, and then say “sorry, but I’m just an asshole and you knew that.” I don’t know if this type of manipulation has a name but it’s disgusting.

velocity2ds · 2019-12-10T02:27:34+00:00

“I’m the worst I know/I suck/I’m an asshole” blah blah just manipulation tactics to get you feel sorry for them and reassure them they aren’t so you’ll drop the issue you’re bringing up.

It’s not like they do any introspection or lose a wink of sleep afterwards

Butter-bumps · 2019-12-10T13:11:03+00:00

I’ve known women whose rapists and molesters have expected this from them. Lots of them.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-10T03:27:55+00:00

Narcs, man. Ouch.

2019-12-10T11:31:34+00:00

Nope. Leave after the first time he tries this shit.

intrepidis_dux · 2019-12-10T07:17:51+00:00

Just let him sit with what he said and don't comfort.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2019-12-10T15:54:00+00:00

Back before I learned to respect myself I was in a relationship where he cheated on me, cried to me about how guilty he felt, and then threatened suicide if I said I needed space or talked about breaking up. I’m never going to be some loser’s free therapist again.

Not_a_jmod · 2019-12-10T12:54:53+00:00

What do you mean "having to comfort him"?

Who forced you to?

Stop enabling the asshole and kick him to the curb

psychsense · 2019-12-10T19:24:27+00:00

I went on a few dates with a guy a few years (yes I said YEARS) ago who continues to text and call me out of the blue every few months. He has a girlfriend and they’ve been together for like 2 years. Well he called me four times in a row at 1:00am and I woke up to an angry text like “wow you really ignored me” lol I responded with “I was asleep?” And he apologized and said he was drunk blah blah and I didn’t respond. A few days later he texts me on a Friday night how he should lose my number because he’s been such a jerk to me and it’s not fair. I said “yeah probs for the best! Bye!” Lol but I knew he was looking for “oh no you’re not a jerk. I deff want you to continue popping into my dms so you can whine how I was the best pussy you ever had” 😂

perhapsbutnottoday · 2019-12-10T18:15:05+00:00

How do you deal with this? Obviously not gonna comfort him so do you agree he’s an ass/ jerk and tell him how lucky he is? Because they think when they say this they’re absolved.

Title	Cut this behavior off quick. No accountability for their actions and resorting to manipulation is a RED FLAG.
Author	ASmallGardenFairy
Upvotes	388
Comments	17
Date	December 10, 2019 1:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e8jl2m/cut_this_behavior_off_quick_no_accountability_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cut-this-behavior-off-quick-no-accountability-for.687185 https://theredarchive.com/post/687185

Comments