I got into this argument with a coworker this morning. Well, not as much an argument, but a sarcastic debate. I work with a bunch of people in their late 30's to early 50's, all married, so they are entertained by my dating stories.
So, quick background, I make decent money. I'm on a path for executive leadership, and am on track for six figures before I turn 30 next year. So when I told my coworker that I never pay when I go on dates, he was a bit gobsmacked and thought that I should even be the one paying, especially if the guy I was with made less than me.
My argument: my time has value. I love spending time alone, I have a busy life, and if I'm going to gamble some of that free time on a guy I don't know, he's going to pay for that. If he doesn't see the value in that, then that's perfectly fine, and I'm happy to pass on the date.
Additionally, the cost of self-care, grooming, clothing, ect. adds up. That shit isn't free. So why should my time be free? I'm not going to bill by the hour, but the least he can do is pay for my meal.
Just at a glance, we've got the cost of cosmetics, skincare, a dermatologist, injections, facials, hair cut/color every 8 weeks, eyelash extensions, microblading, hair products, regular manicures/pedicures, waxing/laser hair removal, shaving, body treatments, teeth whitening, personal training, and that doesn't even touch the cost of clothing, shoes, accessories and jewelry. Add to that, the time it takes to complete personal grooming/maintenance.
So no, I don't go dutch on dates. Sorry not sorry.
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