Ladies, take 👏🏽 note 👏🏽

lilithious · 2019-11-07T07:47:05+00:00

I did this exact mistake in my last relationship. He became jealous when I just wanted to spend a weekend with friends.
"I'm not important to you! You value your friends over me!"
Bitch, we met every other day and when we were not together, we stuck together on TeamSpeak the whole day. But that ONE WEEKEND is so damn important? But when he went to a LARP convention for a whole weekend it was ok somehow. Yeah.

I'm so glad I'm out of that hell.

Now I got a man who also supports ME in my hobbies, sacrifices his own time to help me (He spent his entire free time yesterday to explain SQL and PHP to me) and is actually HAPPY about me spending time with friends and having a life outside our relationship. That's how it's supposed to be.

Get a man that creates a life with you together instead of giving up yours entirely to become part of his life.

s_slayer · 2019-11-07T01:23:23+00:00

Men can also fall into that trap and often do, but this is a message for women. I agree with this, and I think as you get older you realize how important it is to be whole on your own - no one can complete you, no one can provide you what you can provide for yourself. Learn to do things alone, get out of your shell, challenge yourself constantly, never stop learning, have rituals that satisfy your spirit, become more interesting and emotionally independent. That’s a lot more attractive and commands respect. Focusing too much on a man can only end in pain.

madandunabashed · 2019-11-07T00:02:20+00:00

[deleted]

Discochickens · 2019-11-07T03:26:04+00:00

Lmao this goes for both sexes. I’ve had to break up with many men who put me on a pedestal and then got mad when I had a life

frugaholic1201 · 2019-11-07T06:43:43+00:00

Uh, I just wish I had gotten that advice 8 years ago so I wouldn’t have made that huge mistake in my life :(

kdmentality · 2019-11-07T09:18:52+00:00

This is co-dependency at its finest. Shit’s tough

xRedddx · 2019-11-07T02:53:24+00:00

It's very sad when I have friends come and go when they get into relationships, and have the man be their anchor rather than worry about anything else. I do miss those people in my life, but nothing I say will change that.

sengagni · 2019-11-07T08:23:24+00:00

Guilty of this

ponchoacademy · 2019-11-07T01:46:07+00:00

I find a big reason for this are guys who have no friends, no hobbies, no life of his own and since hes making her his entire world, he expects her to get rid of all the stuff she likes to make him her entire world too. And also that way, she wont want to leave him because if she did, she wouldnt have a life to go back to. All out of fear, because he had no life to begin with and afraid to be alone with nothing again.

Ive seen this play out so many times, and I refuse to fall into that. When I meet a guy, I ask him about his friends, how often he sees them, find out if he does anything with his life besides work and go home. Im not trying to be someones whole world because no one will ever be my whole world. I'll include him and make him a part of it, but Im not going to drop everything for a guy and dont want to be with someone who has nothing going for him.

AlienUtterings · 2019-11-07T08:33:15+00:00

Do not put pp on a pedestal sisters!

inthelapofthegods_ · 2019-11-07T14:09:17+00:00

Both men and women make this mistake. I have never ditched hobbies or friends for any man. This is generalizing

jennydb · 2019-11-07T16:05:16+00:00

I’ve read several reports staying the opposite - which is why women also adjust better after a break-up. And it has most certainly been the opposite or not like this for either of them in virtually every couple I know. But it might be a cultural thing, I am Norwegian. Either way it’s good advice to keep up a social life in a relationship.

MRA90SD · 2019-11-07T16:44:51+00:00

So true! I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but in the past I was the type to let my life go for my SO. This year I have been making an effort to build my life back up again. It is hard, and I will not make this mistake again. It is exhausting to feel like you are starting back at square one after every relationship!

r3dl3opard · 2019-11-07T02:33:01+00:00

This is literally the exact opposite of my recent experience. He’s lost. I’m thriving.

sadmotelvibes · 2019-11-07T02:15:52+00:00

I do this EVERY TIME because when I first meet someone I like them TOO much & want to be around them 24/7. So annoying to deal with, I’m sure 😥

thesunandthem00n_ · 2020-04-04T13:20:17+00:00

Wow.. if this didn’t hit home 😞 im glad I found this sub

nibadeyy · 2019-11-07T15:32:46+00:00

Did you know that beeing a girl doesn't define your personality and your mental health? I know some boys who do that same as girls etc. Be healthy and it starts with you!

Loiacono3137 · 2019-11-07T02:11:55+00:00

Ugh yes

spookybbe · 2019-11-07T05:33:17+00:00

My boyfriend relocated with me to follow me as I pursue my educational goals. He left his family, friends, work, everything. Y'all need to stop being salty

Title	Ladies, take 👏🏽 note 👏🏽
Author	butterscotch17
Upvotes	2043
Comments	33
Date	November 6, 2019 11:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dsoj3u/ladies_take_note/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-take-note.688787 https://theredarchive.com/post/688787

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