Thanks to TRP and FDS, I deleted all of my OLD profiles

rftw2013 · 2019-10-24T11:20:31+00:00

Self awareness is the key to leveling up. I applaud your courage to identify what needs to be done, and make the commitment to doing it.

s_slayer · 2019-10-24T12:22:58+00:00

I’m excited for you! I’m on a similar journey as far as putting myself first and enjoying life without giving men too much of my energy. Stick to your goals. I do believe we attract good people when we are right with ourselves, and vice versa. TRP is great for waking women up and realizing most men are just not worth it. They are definitely digging their own grave in that sense! Absolutely no reason to even think about them. Just learn to respect yourself, be very patient, and if you never find a good man that’s ok too. We can be totally happy on our own!

2019-10-24T17:12:21+00:00

You are at the crossroads of an IMMENSE breakthrough in your life. I can tell by the emotions in your writing. You are ready for change and success! Have your surgery, lose the weight, go to therapy, and love yourself. You'll come back from your dating break in a year READY to conquer that shit. YOU GOT THIS.

rad_daphne · 2019-10-24T16:35:28+00:00

Good for you!

For the weight loss I recommend a low-carb diet more than anything else. I've pretty much cut out bread, cut out sugar and alcohol. I'm just dropping weight while hardly doing anything else beyond a 30-minute walk each day or some stationary bike / treadmill at the gym. Elliptical is also good and burns calories faster. I'm eating 1500 calories, so not starving myself at all. Just being reasonable and healthy with what I eat. It's more of a long-term lifestyle change than anything.

Try getting some new active hobbies and going to the gym. Swimming and yoga are great too. Dance is fun.

It sounds like you're headed in the right direction. Good luck!

JuddHerpatow · 2019-10-24T20:27:34+00:00

Another way of deterring yourself from dating is to make a tinder account and set the age range to 40 and up to really expose yourself to male depravity. ( if you’re not in early 20s, maybe create a fake account of someone who is).

I’ve never been more turned off from dating/men in my life.

Sienna57 · 2019-10-24T12:49:59+00:00

I think it’s great you’re taking time to work on yourself, but I want to caution you on taking a “I’ll start my life when...” approach to things. Life is now and nothing is guaranteed. So spend some time focused on your mental health and working on yourself but please don’t wait to until you have everything “in place” to put yourself out there (not just in terms of dating).

Healing and growth can also come through relationships (and often does) rather than sitting by ourselves. If you can afford therapy, take the time to find a good one now and one who will do video sessions so you can continue after surgery. I highly recommend the work of Brene Brown, starting with the Gifts of Imperfection.

Having been through a major surgery and I injured with down time myself, know that it alone can mess with your mental health. The isolation, physical pain and lack of exercise is all hard. Looking back it’s not when I would want to be doing the hardest of the inner work too.

I cannot recommend r/loseit enough. After years of wanting to lose weight and trying but not that hard or focused, I badly injured my ankle and knew I would gain weight from my already heaviest - something had to change or things would get really bad. r/loseit along with r/1200isplenty, r/eatcheapandhealthy, r/1200isfineIguessUGH, r/xxfitness have all been so helpful in my journey. The r/loseit approach (see the sidebar) works - it’s hard but it works. The line I’ve seen is it’s simple, but it’s not easy.

You can lose weight while laid up. It will be all about controlling calorie intake. I have used some hurt foot fitness videos (look up Caroline Jordan on YouTube).

PM_UR_FELINES · 2019-10-24T22:20:30+00:00

Mental health is the real concern here. Maybe changing your weight will help you need less validation, only you know that answer.

But more than likely, your feelings of inadequacy are leading to / contributing to your weight.

If you spend the next 7 months learning to love your own company, that’d be a huge help.

By the time I met my husband, I had so much fun alone that I didn’t need anyone else. It meant I could easily avoid assholes.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-10-25T18:32:48+00:00

- My weight. I'm not going on another date until I've lost at least 50 pounds. Men think of me as either subhuman or just a cum rag, and I find myself settling for shitty attention over no attention. That won't change until my weight does. That's just a reality.

You can have and find dating success as you are. Come as you are sis. You keep settling for "shitty attention" because your mental health needs improvement, sis. It won't change until your mental health improves :(

I want you to please PLEASE give these books a try. They were very helpful for me for improving my mental health, and actually helped me lose weight too (because a lot of people, myself included, are addicted to food, and addiction is a mental health item too).

They're on the Audible app, and are called "Feeling Good: The new mood therapy" and "When Panic attacks". There's a third book called "Feeling good together" that I'm still reading, but haven't finished yet, but it 's amazing too. All 3 are by Dr. David Burns, and all 3 are on Audible. You can listen to them as audiobooks in your car on your way to work, or on the bus/train as you commute. I encourage you to do the written assignments too, and apply the concepts persistently.

Be kind to yourself, sis :( and please please don't feel like you have to make major changes for moids in order for them to accept you, that's going to hurt your mental health. COME AS YOU ARE. YOU ARE ACCEPTABLE AS YOU ARE.

90sCosmoEnergy · 2019-10-24T17:48:15+00:00

> I'm not going on another date until I've lost at least 50 pounds. Men think of me as either subhuman or just a cum rag, and I find myself settling for shitty attention over no attention. That won't change until my weight does. That's just a reality.

Loving the realness of this sentiment because "you're perfect the way you are!!1!!!" pick me feminism is bullshit. Humans are visual and we all deserve to be the absolute best versions of ourselves. Life's too short to not feel like you're making the most of the skin you're in.

But why starve yourself of romantic interaction? Go on practice dates. Don't fuck, don't commit, just go out. If you've been used as a cum rag, then use men as a dinner/drinks rag as you move towards your goals. Practice makes perfect.

"Monk mode" is for Red Pill weirdos. We're not men, we don't need to sequester ourselves on our self-improvement journeys. Have your cake and eat it too. (Your keto/raw vegan/gluten-free/whatever cake... whatever's working for you :-D )

fistfulloftosca · 2019-10-24T14:32:31+00:00

I am in the same boat as you, 100%. Same goals and everything. Good for you for leveling up!

stillcantsee · 2019-10-24T18:23:02+00:00

Deleted my bumble yesterday, everyone was ugly and boring 😂 standing with you sis!

missmatchedsocks88 · 2019-10-25T02:16:35+00:00

This is an amazing post. Holy cow I needed to see this. Thank you.

2019-10-24T15:50:48+00:00

What is TRP?

Title	Thanks to TRP and FDS, I deleted all of my OLD profiles
Author	Katelyn89
Upvotes	64
Comments	30
Date	October 24, 2019 11:01 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dmerm4/thanks_to_trp_and_fds_i_deleted_all_of_my_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thanks-to-trp-and-fds-i-deleted-all-of-my-old.689642 https://theredarchive.com/post/689642

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