Watch out ladies

weird_waving · 2020-06-18T04:46:12+00:00

Fuuuuuuuck that

Novemberinthechair · 2020-06-18T07:09:53+00:00

This is fiction. One of those trolls who's obsessed with Chad's. He probably likes Jordan Peterson a lot.

hyacinthgirl95 · 2020-06-18T08:40:04+00:00

He’s a fucking psychopath.

Rpattz73 · 2020-06-18T04:35:02+00:00

Full text:

I've dated many beautiful, amazing and confident women and cheated on every one of them. I feel guilty about doing it, but that hasn't deterred me.

On a basic level, I cheat because I can. In addition to being good looking and in good shape, I'm also very successful and have a confident demeanor. Women generally assume that I'm single (I never am), and are attracted to me despite what appears to be a somewhat juvenile and arrogant persona for a man my age (or perhaps that's part of my allure.)

I have, shockingly, never been actually caught. I'm an extremely effective liar, and there are so many aspects of my life that I can use to cover for my cheating, so even being caught with what would have been undeniable evidence, I've always managed to weasel out of it. I also have a number of female friends who have covered for me as well.

Part of it is mere arrogance, selfishness and problems with my character; On a very minimal level, I've no compulsion about lying about romantic cheating. I seem to be able to isolate this from every other aspect of my life (where I'm generally very honest - I can't actually think of a time I've lied elsewhere in the last few years in a way that wasn't to protect someone's feelings or where "lying" wasn't considered acceptable because it was a business negotiation.)

I think part of why I get away with it is because most people assume that I never would cheat because I'm very much the person I present myself to be in non-romantic situations and because I have so many female friends.

I believe (rationalize) that what I'm doing isn't hurting anyone as long as they don't know and I'm "careful." I'm careful about the people I've cheated with from an STD standpoint, and I justify it sometimes as being a primal need for more than one sexual partner; I tell myself that I'm somehow a special Alpha male that has needs more than most other men. (Yes, I get how arrogant and absurd that is when I'm not rationalizing.)

As a terrible, serial and chronic cheater, I've spent years in weekly therapy to understand why I do what I do. All that reflection has revealed to me that what probably drives the cheating more than anything is that I'm terrified of being alone and allowing a woman to have sexual or affective leverage over me.

When I was a child, my mother was very erratic, unpredictable and angry; She would withdraw affection whenever I displeased her and sometimes just because she didn't feel like it. I would regularly go days, weeks or months without any kind of praise or affection from her because of something I've done or because of circumstances beyond my control.

So, cheating allows me to feel safe by having multiple sources of affection and acceptance. This also has the ironic effect of making me appear far more confident and less needing of anything from the women I've dated (or my ex wife - who still doesn't know), which does seem to be the most attractive quality a man can have. (Honesty is a close second.) It also makes it impossible for a woman to deny me her attentions as leverage, something that creates the illusion of strength. Finally, it provides a source of sexual gratification and emotional support immediately after any breakups.

Will I ever stop cheating? I'm trying. It certainly isn't about finding the right person. It's really about me. While I do have a lot of insight on my motivations, it seems to have minimal impact preventing me from doing it. I do feel bad about what I do, because it really isn't "risk free" and it really does matter. While I may never have been caught, women have a sixth sense about these things and I know that my cheating, while not acknowledged, have been a cancer on my relationship. It undermines their confidence and sense of well-being. There are many women who things would have worked out with if it hadn't been for my cheating.

And this is the ultimate paradox - I cheat because I don't want to be alone, but my cheating always keeps me from building a true connection.

UPDATE - 3 YEARS LATER….

I recently was reminded of this answer by a Quora alert indicating that there was a new reply. The member asked me to give an update, and I actually thought this was relevant, so here goes...

Perhaps it is, in fact, (or at least, in part) about finding the right person. Or perhaps it’s about the right person and not screwing it up… Ironically, right around the time that I wrote this, things changed significantly for me and my pattern of behavior moved in a very different direction.

I met a woman who I came to realize is truly the ‘love of my life’ and, despite never expecting this could happen to me, we recently became engaged.

Since we started dating seriously, I have not found myself drawn to other women, and not felt the least bit attracted to the idea of cheating. This was truly a surprise, and something I continue to struggle to fully understand.

I think there were a few factors that are relevant:

She is incredibly affectionate and devoted. Probably by most people’s standards - excessively so. I can never imagine that I would do better and I don’t feel in the least bit like I’m making any compromises. While I had certainly dated women who were warm and loving before, I’d generally been drawn to women who were somewhat emotionally unavailable. (My fiancé seemed that way in the very beginning, but that quickly changed.) When we first started dating, neither of us expected that the relationship would be more than a short fling. There are considerable differences in both age, background and personal interests. I was, frankly, intimidated by her beauty, youth and minor celebrity, so I resolved to not fall in love with her - convinced that she would soon lose interest and eventually break my heart. So, our early relationship centered around sex and we didn’t expect it to be about much more. And never thinking that this would really go anywhere, there was little point in any deception or ‘image’ and I was extremely and unusually honest - about everything. With no expectations, I never had any shame or embarrassment about much of anything (including my past) and we ended up sharing more in pillow talk that I ever would have expected. We were both more direct and less ego-driven than any other relationship we’d ever had. Once the relationship developed into something serious, the honesty we had in bed extended to our expanded relationship. I remember how clear this became to me was when we were at one of our first public social engagements (a cocktail party) and she came over to me and whispered - “Can you not talk to that woman? It makes me jealous. In fact… can you… not… acknowledge her at all?” I was as amused as I was thoroughly stunned. I’d never had another woman communicate in quite such a direct and straightforward way. It inspired respect, empathy and a sense of connection I’d never felt with another woman. I think my honesty with her about my prior infidelity has led her to be vigilant (paranoid?) and I do think this helps. She keeps a close eye on me, and I understand why. Where previously I would have felt offended by reflex with another woman that didn’t know my past, it seems a reasonable response on her part. I’m aware of my own potential for cheating and I work hard to avoid situations where something like that could happen. I don’t hang out in places where opportunities present themselves - no nightclubs without her or weekend bachelor parties in Vegas anymore - just like alcoholics don’t go to bars. I’m also completely certain that if I cheated on her, she would find out, and she would no longer feel the same way and our relationship would never recover. (She might try hard to forgive me, but she’d never see me the same way again.) I know that it would break her heart and I couldn’t imagine doing that to someone who’s given me so much and who I feel this way about. So, if a guy like me can change, I guess there is hope for others. I hope this helps.

Thanks, and good luck to everyone!

2020-06-18T08:49:32+00:00

[deleted]

radical__daphne · 2020-06-18T08:26:05+00:00

So he has a harem of pickmes that cover for him.

boiledgatorade_ · 2020-06-18T05:04:23+00:00

So he’ll change for a younger , hotter , celebrity 🤒

degnan1214 · 2020-06-18T05:50:26+00:00

Yeah, dude, whatever. At least this woman has (at least temporarily) removed him from the dating pool. That's all I've got.

lemon_hearts · 2020-06-18T08:18:04+00:00

I mean... at least it seems like he knows he’s a piece of shit with trash character

masalamermaid · 2020-06-18T13:14:57+00:00

Ah, a man LARPing on the internet once again

2020-06-18T14:37:18+00:00

This shit is so fake oh god 😂😂😂😂 when a guy uses the words alpha male I would not listen to a single word he says .

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-06-18T14:57:45+00:00

If this is even real, this is what I have to say:

He thinks they’ve never caught him, but the phrase about how he can “weasel out of it” even when caught with evidence tells me that he’s been caught and dumped. Or the women just walked away because they don’t want to waste more energy on him.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2020-06-18T15:30:02+00:00

He thinks he's special, but he's just another anxious-avoidant with mommy issues 😂

Next.

Myplummms · 2020-06-18T13:19:18+00:00

Red flags as far as the eye can see.

Cobmobster21 · 2020-06-18T14:02:19+00:00

Even if this is real karma will fuck him hard. How many times have we’ve heard about a cheating fuckboy getting cheated on by the one they fell for. It happens

2020-06-18T14:16:41+00:00

This is strictly an imaginary piece... what the writer hopes to be lmao. Too specific and too much details to be true.

2020-06-18T14:22:53+00:00

Quora is 50% creative writing, 20% troll, 30% genuine human so I’d take it with a pinch of salt

Title	Watch out ladies
Author	Ratataratata22
Upvotes	170
Comments	35
Date	June 18, 2020 4:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hb7nla/watch_out_ladies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/watch-out-ladies.691545 https://theredarchive.com/post/691545

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