I would NOPE right out of this one. Free babysitter, cook, and she’s STILL not stroking his ego enough? I’ve been with a guy like this and you can NEVER make them happy. The need for validation is unattainable.

AyemHerself · 2020-06-16T04:10:15+00:00

He will never be satisfied.

He wants her constantly on her toes, bending over backwards to do everything for him, and never complaining. Notice he blew up as soon as she showed a hint of dissatisfaction, and withdrew after that.

This is textbook mental conditioning. He's trying to turn her into his mindless servant.

atreethatkeepsgrowin · 2020-06-16T03:59:13+00:00

Wow she in the sunken place

jenaemare · 2020-06-16T06:49:33+00:00

Oh wow, reminds me of my narc ex. We were in our early 20s. We both got jobs at the same time. He stopped attending classes because it was "too tiring". He'd come home and play video games and smoke weed and expect me to come over 2-3 times a week. I was working too, studying/attending classes to get my master's degree & was the class leader at the same time - assured communication between professors and other students and managed other administrative issues. Oh, and I was also going to the gym & yoga 3-4 times a week. I was also very insecure about my looks since narc bf would make subtle comments about other girls, subconsciously pitting me against them and making me obsess over my looks.

Sounds like I had many activities and he had next to none, right? Well, he was "too tired and stressed" to come to my place or go on dates with me. After being up at 6 AM, going to work, class and the gym, I was still the one supposed to go over to his place and just be there while he smoked weed and listened to music only he liked and watch TV shows that only he could choose. Oh, and if I'd go over wearing comfy clothing he'd accuse me of not making an effort with my appearance for him. You guessed it, he was wearing PJs and house clothes no problem.

I'd also want to mention that aside from all my outside activities, I was doing laundry, cleaning and cooking at my home. He was sending his laundry to his grandma to wash and she'd send him back clean clothes and tons of already cooked food.

And guess what? After a while of this imbalanced dynamic, HE had the audacity of letting me know that I'm not doing enough for him. I couldn't take it anymore and my stress just exploded and I let him know that I was absolutely exhausted and I don't know what more to do. I was always available for him even when I was physically and mentally drained. He had a super easy life with all basic needs assured but coming over to see me was too much.

Needless to say it was soon over. We gradually saw each other less since I stopped making an effort (I had to finish my master's thesis and I needed more time for myself). I'm no longer putting myself in that position for anyone. I was so brainwashed by a dusty lazy ass manchild that I would never get any better than him, but honestly being alone is better than that. It's been 2 years and honestly I feel like I'm still recovering from the exhaustion.

honeybeeroll · 2020-06-16T07:19:39+00:00

Either he's been so spoiled and entitled his whole life that his expectations for how his gf should "appreciate" him are not realistic, or he's (consciously or not) trying to manipulate her as a means of control. Either way...get the hell out of there girl!

umbralgarden · 2020-06-16T15:15:25+00:00

Sex. He's talking about sex he just knows he's not allowed to say it out loud. He wants to be appreciated with a blowjob when he gets home.

WoolyRabbit · 2020-06-16T08:14:14+00:00

I bet she doesn’t feel appreciated. Or let me rephrase. She ISN’T appreciated.

gcfemtastic · 2020-06-17T01:19:21+00:00

When he says "feel" he means is literally...

He wants you to drop to your knees and suck his dick when he gets home.

honeymilkandgold · 2020-06-16T13:45:28+00:00

Men like this want control!! Control over your mind and your well being. He doesn't care about being appreciated. He wants to see how far you are willing to bend over for him. It's a sick game. The only way to beat it is to not rely on men for any validation. You are happy with or without him. You will have a great day with or without his shitty mood. The key is NEVER argue. I would die before I tell a man how I feel or how he makes me feel. Nope. He should be asking YOU that. He should be wondering where you stand. Silence will help you shift the power dynamics in your favour. I had to go through hell to learn this stuff but never never get to their level of pettiness and argument.

rabidmoon · 2020-06-17T10:15:20+00:00

Never ever get engaged after only 1 year of dating. She’s signed up for a whole lifetime of hurt and she doesn’t even know this man FOR REAL.

He probably treated her well for months (which basically feels like just yesterday when you’re a year in) and she thinks she’s found a guy who really loves her and isn’t afraid to commit to her but, duh, why wouldn’t he commit when she’s doing everything for him, including taking care of his kids, and he has nothing to offer her in return except bitching about how she’s not stroking his fragile ego enough.

What’s he got? A nice house? Fuck a nice house. A nice house isn’t shït when you’re living with an asshole. I’m living in a tiny house now but it’s MY house and I don’t have to put up with anyone not treating me with respect.

I hope she leaves this shithead.

ItsFreezen · 2020-06-18T20:49:52+00:00

What a narc. Always moving the goal posts.

bqluoeoedn · 2020-06-16T03:59:35+00:00

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