is this a bad ultimatum?

muricaxoxo · 2020-06-15T07:31:37+00:00

I think you can do better than this guy, he already doesn't want to be exclusive with you and you want exclusivity. Dont bother responding or giving him any ultimatum as he knows what you want and still disrespects that. He will most likely pressure you into sleeping with him over the weekend or on the trip. You can definitely find someone who will want to be exclusive with you and not need ultimatums, hold out for them :) forget about this loser

Caedere01 · 2020-06-15T08:31:50+00:00

Girl, exclusivity is the bare minimum you need to demand to sleep over. Most of us advise that you shouldn't even have sex with a guy before he commits.

2340000 · 2020-06-15T08:53:16+00:00

The first problem is that he knows why you're waiting to have sex🚩- he shouldn't know. It's he either meets your standards or doesn't. Second is he said he doesn't want exclusivity😬... Tf? Drop this man immediately.

Your standards are non-negotiable. Don't look to him to meet your expectations. He's incapable. He willingly lovebombed you with vacations and cotton candy language. So he knows what you want and is trying to convince you otherwise???That's manipulative, OP.

There should be no ultimatum. LEAVE. His opinion of you should have NO POWER!

kwalden2 · 2020-06-15T07:20:12+00:00

How seriously is he talking about this trip, like is it an abstract thing? It may require no response at all. And how serioisly is he taking his desire to stay single? It's not usually recommended to keep talking to/dating/whatever a man who is openly unavailable for what you want...

no_therworldly · 2020-06-15T09:43:16+00:00

I don't think this will lead anywhere. He is already showing you who he is and what he wants, he will not magically change. Dump him.

Ngwanuza · 2020-06-15T10:09:25+00:00

Yes, it is an absolutely horrible ultimatum. I have been here, and made this mistake. He is already armed with the knowledge of what your standards are, what it is you want....he has not delivered, the minimum. The ultimatum is essentially smoke and mirrors, he'll tell you what you want to hear, worm his way into your pants and still not be exclusive/ready for a relationship. Leave this dude alone, let your affection/feelings fall away....you are being breadcrumbed for sure! And you deserve a 5 course gourmet meal.

kiyankiriam · 2020-06-15T14:39:29+00:00

Just ghost on him or tell him you found someone to be exclusive with

kwalden2 · 2020-06-15T16:41:23+00:00

I personally vote for dropping him altogether. You get into a relationship, fall in love, and he moves halfway across the country. This is not what you want to happen.

If you inzizt on continuing to talk to him, tell him uoure not interested in this weekend trip.

ErikaNaumann · 2020-06-15T11:16:46+00:00

he knows you want exclusivity, but he doesn't 🚩
he knows you don't want casual sex, but he is still trying to put you in a situation where you will be coerced to 🚩
he doesn't respect your boundaries 🚩

What are you doing? He is just going to use you. This is not it sis! Drop him. Tell him you are not a whore. You told him what you want, he isn't willing to give it. Leave.

parmalilacwine · 2020-06-15T17:29:14+00:00

He doesn’t want to be exclusive with you. He doesn’t want you.

Why are you even wasting your fingers typing this?

2020-06-15T17:57:00+00:00

Hun you’re cheating yourself. Raise your standards. You have to really like them to sleep in their bed AFTER sleeping with them??? 🤔

Title	is this a bad ultimatum?
Author	imacommunistyaidiot
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	June 15, 2020 5:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/h99rai/is_this_a_bad_ultimatum/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-this-a-bad-ultimatum.697465 https://theredarchive.com/post/697465

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