Two years ago.... I matched with a guy on a dating app. He planned a first date and it went well. I had been single for three years at the time and was so desperate to be in a relationship. I was kind of indifferent towards him in our talking stage but was instantly attracted to him after the first date. I proceeded to then do everything wrong:

• When he pulled away I pursued him
• I agreed to be “official” before knowing enough
  
• I lavished him with loving little gifts/kindness
• I “loaned” him money several times. He never paid back
• He broke up with me three times
• I told him I loved him (it was infatuation, really) after 3 months and he didn’t return it. Instead, he got upset and said it was too soon for me to say and that the man should say it first anyway.
• By month 7, I saw he was on Tinder. When I asked him about it he made a dumb excuse and got mad at me. I stayed.
• After 8 months, I knew I was only in love with the idea of him and he certainly wasn’t in love with me. He was just keeping me around because who wouldn’t want such a sure and easy thing? He walked away after an argument one day and that was the end. Neither of us ever reached out again; we simply ghosted each other.
  

I looked him up on Facebook a couple of months after we broke up and he was seeing someone else. He was posting pictures with her (never did with me), buying her flowers and thoughtful gifts (never did for me once), and saying I love you after a only couple of months (when it was “too soon” with me). Soon after, I saw him post that they were engaged after 5 months dating. I literally laughed out loud when I read it because I had zero feelings for him and wasn’t jealous at all. I was laughing at my pre FDS, Pickmeisha self.

Ladies, this is why we don’t pursue. This is why we only let ourselves get attracted to men who treat us well. The is why we level up. This. Is. Why. We. Vet. Don’t believe the hype that “it’s 2020. Women can ask a guy out. Women can take the lead!” It’s a lie. I looked back and realized that I was carrying the WHOLE relationship, I was so horribly desperate and too into him too soon, and I was tolerating such shitty behavior. I was displaying incredibly low value.

Men go after what they want when they believe it’s valuable. They feel better about it and you will feel better about yourself. BE A HIGH VALUE WOMAN. Let him come get YOU and make him put in the majority of the time and the majority of the work to prove himself. Worst case scenario: he will get tired of maintaining the fake effort and you’ll learn early on that he’s LVM. Best case scenario: you weed out the losers to clear space for High Value Men to enter your life.

That was the relationship that led me to FDS and my dating life is so much better now 💗