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35+ wants kids someday WTF?

Reddit View
July 10, 2020
65 upvotes

You're female.

35 years old.

You had a good 15 years to choose a mate and settle down.

But you focused on your career.

Or you were busy partying.

You never considered how you would struggle at 35 to find a partner to have kids with.

But now you're there.

You're on bumble because tinder is known for mostly just hookups.

You put on your profile under kids: want someday

The pressure is on.

Will this end well?

90% of girls on dating apps have that they want kids someday. What the fuck is with 35+ women and their dream of becoming a mother? Is it a virtue signal like "looking for relationship" ?

Don't they realize that they are more likely than not past the point of no return?

Just venting a little here but they really don't have much of a chance.

At 35 you start dating. You meet a dozen guys who are good leads to father your offspring.

Narrow it down to 2-3 in a month or 2. Pick the best one of those after a few more months.

Date the one for at least 6 months - 1 year to get him to really commit.

Maybe another 6 months and you move in together.

Another year or 2 until he proposes.

That's IF the two of you can keep it together that long. Otherwise it's back to the dating world and start over.

But let's say you do get married - now you're 38 and married living together.

Now you're damn near 40 and you have to put your career that you spent 15 years developing on hold for at least 10 years.

Which means you need your husband to provide. We're talking at least a 6 figure earner. Not some grocery bagger.

How many qualified men in your area are there that are going to be interested in you?

Chances are low. So why bother?

My theory is that it's just to signal. You have some interest in being a mother but deep down it's still a low priority.

What do you think?


Post Information
Title 35+ wants kids someday WTF?
Author jhx264
Upvotes 65
Comments 81
Date 10 July 2020 09:44 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/704437
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hoxvvi/35_wants_kids_someday_wtf/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]BluzzKill130 points131 points  (14 children) | Copy

Women live in a fantasy world. People tell them stupid shit like "it's never too late"

[–]Project_Zero_Betas21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

People like that (I wont name names) have been huffing their own farts for so long they dont see how telling that to women is actually hurting them.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is no upside to telling the truth to women.

Why would anyone do it? Women will shoot the messenger every time. Or just cry.

[–]RevolutionRose1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

l shoot the messenger every time. Or just cry.

Same thing

[–]QuirkyDoctor5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean yeah, if we're truthful, they'll start bitching. We don't have time for that. We're too busy trying to get better each day and work towards our mission. Better to just tell em that BS and move forward.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“its not fair to the person who can love you for who you are”

[–]LukeVTruth15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

I almost feel bad for them because the blue pill lies are just as damaging to them as they are to us men. Telling a women she's totally fine to focus on her career well into her mid-30s and THEN she can settle down and have kids just isn't true for the majority of them. At that point the type of men they want will not be interested because those men will have settled down at 30 with a 24 year old. Not only that but the chances of getting pregnant and carrying it to term are much lower for her than they were 10 years ago.

[–]BluzzKill8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep the red pill is better for everyone and if society as a whole embraced it ironically we would be back to a 1950s ish society and sexual.standard because women would stop giving it away. Feminism convinced them to give away their only power.

[–]RanaMahal4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

wish we could go back to the 50s just minus the racism lol would be perfect

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So...the 80s?

[–]gggreddit7896 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men in their late 30s also focus on late 20s ladies, less likely in their 30s too. Just being real!

[–]RevolutionRose0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What they are able to do though is that they get with some 40+ aged blue pill beta and get him to be their daddies. These super wealthy guys are still somehow looking for entitlement, and almost always end up with Has been's who are 30+
Case in point, 34 yr old plate with N count higher than Saudi king's Ban Account Balance, got engaged to a 44 yr old divorced "Partner" level guy. He is Bentley level rich and beta AF

[–]rprookie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitch it’s too late

[–]acoltismypassport15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was dating (sort of) a Japanese woman a few months back, only for about 2 months. She was 35, I'm 30. No kids, but had a decent job, nice apartment, very level-headed. Met her on OKC, her profile said 'wants kids someday.'

For the reasons you listed above, I ultimately broke it off with her and started dating another girl I was banging at the time - 12 years younger at 23. She was otherwise a very nice person, but there had to be SOMETHING wrong with her to not have found a worthwhile man at age 35. I didn't stick around long enough to find out what that was, but there must have been something.

I'd listen to her talk about how well her side business was going, how she'd been promoted at work, etc. All I could think was 'in a few years when you're no longer able to have children, you will literally not give a fuck about your career or money AT ALL.'

[–]1v1rustfaggot691 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you publicly date a 23 year old? Just curious what people said to you/about you. I have a very successful cousin I’m close with whose your age dating a hot girl around the same age and it seems like all the single girls around his age are pissed off that he’s dating a younger girl rather than them

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am 52 and I date girls from 20 - 27. Anybody who doesn't like it - typically bitter bitches near my age and sometimes young guys who can't score - can lick the sweat off my balls.

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Publicly, yup. Nobody has said shit, and even if they did I wouldn't give a single fuck. It could perhaps be that I pass off as much younger than I am (early to mid 20s,) but I've never had anyone say anything. With the exception of the 35 year old Japanese chick, I've always dated younger - anywhere from 3 to 7 years.

[–]Tousen7174 points75 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think they genuinely want kids. But try not to be too mad at them, women are victims of this ever-growing march towards liberal insanity, too.

They’re being told in music, movies, tv, commercials, etc. to not be feminine. To go into stem fields and coding. To put themselves first before a family or children. To have open relationships, cuck their boyfriends, cheat, and fuck other girls, too, all in the pursuit of pleasure.

Then that biology hits. And by then the dice have already been cast. Men are victims too and become BP but have much more time to get it together.

Women that ignore their own femininity just become older, angrier, and bitter when they realize the music stopped 5 years ago and they’re the only ones still standing without a place to sit.

Unfortunately, with marriage rates declining and less guys even remotely interested in tying themselves down to a woman with poor values, there’s going to be a generation of women trying to convince themselves they’re happy as they go to bed with their cat.

But who knows. There’s a beta born every minute.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on

[–]2319Skew38 points39 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're approaching this with typical male logic. You need to think like a strong, independent woman.

She can work a 40 hr work week, hit the gym for 25 minutes biweekly for her weight loss routine that she found off a Pintrest post and still have time to start a side business selling soap off Facebook while taking care of 3 kids.

[–]comcain4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Every time I hear the phrase, "Strong, independent woman" I throw up a little. I've known very few in my life. And, sadly, they tend towards Karenism.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What they don't get is that "STRONG" and "INDEPENDENT" comes off as "LOUD" and "OPINIONATED".

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]warped-cuttingboard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol!

[–]imspunkticus20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

People lack self awareness. For it to be a virtue signal there'd have to be self-awareness. Unfortunately, what you're seeing is societally-programmed blindness to reality.

[–]Somelier12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it’s true across both genders

[–]poopdeck6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Millennials bought this strong, independent, Sex and the City shit hard, and we're about to watch an entire generation evolve into spinsterhood

[–]Casanova-Quinn10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Some women are delusional, it's that simple. Don't waste your time writing novels about it.

[–]jhx264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Writing this was quite cathartic, actually.

[–]Superl00se-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

They're all delusional.

It's just a vent. He has a point, but it's a point our entire mainstream society perpetuates.

[–]Casanova-Quinn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be careful painting with a broad brush. Some women know exactly what they're doing, and men fall for it all the time.

[–]thesanders2020train12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

i think, for the most part, no one knows what the fuck is going through a woman's mind, not even women.

[–]PokeyTifu997 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Typical woman hitting a wall. Another reason single motherhood and divorce rates are so high they wait till last minute. Some beta falls for the trick, ends up with a dependapotamus.

[–]z2a1-93 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dependapotamus 😆

[–]youcantdrinkthat3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you think IVF rates have been skyrocketing?

[–]Shoujoaddict1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

Or yeah, forgot to add this in my first comment but, maybe if as the OP mentioned she managed to find a husband who isn't really an earner, but she does have a high paying job. So why not just make the husband a stay at home dad, and keep the mom working? I could see that work.

She'll have all the time in the world to focus on her job and career; and live the fantasy suburbia life she always wanted to live.

[–][deleted]  (15 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]holyshocker4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Quite the opposite. Most women fantasize about taming the lion or locking down the bad boy. They don't realize until he's tamed that he's no longer exciting though.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds more like a specific fetish than a popular one imho. Kind of like how some people like feet.

Sure...you do you, I don't judge, but that doesn't mean everyone has it.

[–]holyshocker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're just a dominant woman. Pretty sure submissive women are the popular ones.

[–]Shoujoaddict2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why not? This is intriguing, having a life where all I had to do was focus on my dream career while my husband took care of the kids most of the time sounds like the best of both worlds for me. A happy family, and a career I love. Sounds pretty nice to me. Heck I would sign up for it right now if I could.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because most of the Status and Money aspect of what they love is tied to climbing the corporate hierarchy. Not everyone can do SPY straddles from the couch and call it a day.

[–]Vancopime2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah I don’t see how this could ever work, in no circumstances does a woman want a man that’s a sit at home mom. I mean it’s just not biologically meaningful.

[–]holyshocker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sahd for 6 months and my wife is just as eager to make sure my balls remain drained at all times. Sahd is fun and I get to enjoy my hobbies more.

[–]Shoujoaddict1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Eh, better than raising children and managing a career all by herself. At least there would be someone to help.

I mean, maybe I'm just the exception idk; but I wouldn't mind a stay-at-home husband if I imagine myself in this situation.

[–]Vancopime0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

But the problem is you’re a man thinking from a man perspective irrespective of red or blue or whatever pill you might be. The case flipped is that it’s as if back in prehistoric time, the women went out to hunt and the men took care of the kids to nurture. Both would be pretty bad at their job.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Wouldn't it still be better than just the woman, alone, out there nurturing and hunting? Sure...maybe both would be bad at their jobs but something is better than nothing, right? Two people working together is better than one imo

[–]Vancopime0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sure but what do you as a man contribute at that point? When you can’t even horribly take care a kid?

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well...I'm not a man, so I was imagining myself as the woman in the situation.

But idk I look at parenting as more of a skill that can develop over time, rather than a gender specific thing. Yeah, maybe being a woman helps in nurturing kids from a biological standpoint, but it isn't the only part of the equation. I personally know of many incapable mothers who are high 90% of the time.

If my husband could read up on many parenting sources in today's day and age, and learn about it then eventually he might get it. Sure, nobody is perfect, but he could learn over time.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]jrr6415sun-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

you haven't been in this sub long have you

[–]kkillah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i have been here for a bit as i wanted male opinion on dating but its like skewed bc of stereotypes

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Risky AF to have kids at 40 for health reasons.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why be on Bumble, and why be looking at 35+ y.o. bitches?

[–]aesky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

milf fetish?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[removed]

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe I have more intellectual curiosity than a pleb like you.

Or maybe you can only get skanky, old bitches? That's another possibility....Srsly, why the butthurt?

[–]jhx264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah you got me. I'd be an incel if I didn't lower my standards to the point of dating 300lb land whales

[–]Joe_Doblow1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You only live once, you’re only alive and young/healthy once. Why are you wasting precious time on 38 yr old single women on bumble who want kids?

[–]jhx264[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This has to be the most poorly thought out response in the entire thread.

I'm making an observation. Where does it say that I'm going after wallbescent women? Please

[–]Joe_Doblow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re focusing you’re precious attention on them

[–]Dripsonhold1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Really wish they could see this

[–]jhx264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

Problem is even if they heard this message, do you think they would listen?

[–]slamdgti0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I might get shit for saying this but it’s not easy to find someone to have kids with. That’s not something do with just anyone. I’m 39m and want kids and still single. Not in a rush just to do it though. That’s a red flag if that’s the case. I’d need to know someone for years before making that decision and I’m comfortable if it never happens

[–]jhx264[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Are you a woman?

Do you think men and women are the same when it comes to this shit?

[–]slamdgti0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Says I’m 39 male but no it’s not the same. I’ve seen hoes literally sleep with anyone who they just met trying to have a kid. In the bathroom at the bar actually

[–]jrr6415sun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

there are people out there that get married within 1 year, especially at that old of an age.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right.

[–]Adorable_FecalSpray0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I just saw a 42 year old woman on Bumble that had “wants kids” selected in her bio. I mean, more power to ya, buuuut not the smartest choice. I really hope your genetics are on point.

[–]DavidDickTouch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She could be my mommy

[–]JameisBong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The same society that's encouraging 58 year old women to give birth, is the same society that gives them the same false confidence.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Why not just adopt or something if she wants to be a mother so bad? Or go the in-vitrio fertilization route with the help of a sperm donor if she's of the stupid, age-old mindset of "I only want a blood related child."

I mean if she spent that time on her career then she most likely has the means to bring up a child by herself.

I don't get it, does she dream of a " happy wholesome suburbia life with a loving husband a son and a daughter"? That's just childish imo

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Or go the in-vitrio fertilization route with the help of a sperm donor if she's of the stupid, age-old mindset of "I only want a blood related child."

Because they want to delude themselves into thinking they can get the same high status man to be the father on his own volition rather than go and do it anonymously. Theres a biological impulse behind their feelz

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I think that is a more gender neutral feeling imo, I mean in some animals like bears the male just simply leaves the female and the child. But for humans, evolution decided that to not be feasible and bringing up the offspring by using both the genders was much more practical.

So, both genders should from this logic feel equal affection for their offsprings.

But, yes, on the other hand I have noticed this mindset you described in some women, but I would argue that its more of a personality thing than biological.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

So, both genders should from this logic feel equal affection for their offsprings.

Agreed, but guys want it with a woman whos in her 20s not at the postwall age these women want it at. In other words age is to guys what status is to women.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Not even if the woman had a high paying job from a career she was working for fifteen years in? All the guy would have to do is learn how to be good at parenting, and be a loving husband.

If we take into the fact that the primary aim here is that both the husband and wife want to have a family. The husband is good at parenting but he doesn't have a high status to get a wife through normal means. The wife has passed the appropriate age of marriage and isn't going to find a husband anytime soon. Both are desperate, both want to settle down. I don't think its unrealistic that they compromise on the fact that their spouse isn't who they want, in order to get mutual benefit from each other.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean that is basically how arranged marriages work, you do not necessarily want your spouse, but you make do with it because you and your family and they and their family benefit. In this case its just an arranged marriage minus the families.

[–]InflatableRaft0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It sounds like it would work doesn't it? But the reality is women aren't attracted to low status men. Even if they did start a family, the woman ends up resenting the fact that she has to go to work when he doesn't and in a couple of years it ends in divorce

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't want to use my vagina here to gain special attention, as it was so eloquently put in one of the rules of the now quarantined redpill subreddit, but I'm sorry that I have to.

If you ask me personally that mindset only exists in western women, me personally, in that situation, raising a family would be my top-priority. My culture, (I am Indian by the way) kinda enforces that more than anything else. Family comes first, for both men and for women. Always. No exceptions. Would I be unhappy? Sure. Would my marriage not be a happy one? Maybe. But you see, what the beautiful thing about arranged marriages is that most if not all westerners have forgotten? Its the fact that you don't need to love your spouse to be their spouse. You can be best friends with them, and build a strong relationship with them. It does not have to always be about attraction.

[–]Shoujoaddict0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So if that means I have to be a working woman and my husband has to be a stay-at-home dad? So be it. Because my family comes first before myself; and I am sure my husband would think the same in this situation.



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