If red pill is a no go. Where do you expect guys to go.

Jack0fDiamonds · 2020-07-07T13:06:24+00:00

I feel your frustration here.

self improvement is for you and you only. The only outside benefit to attracting others is that people see a happier, more confident, more able you.
There's tons of lucky/priveliged/successful people out there who are still single just as much as others like them are happily settled.
Everyone most likely doesn't think the same thing about you when they meet you-that's mostly in your head.

Your brain can be wired to believe anything you want it to, so create an attitude that is going to make you feel good, and help you succeed. That will end up getting you to a better place. Take a look at "unfuck yourself" by John Gary Bishop that was a very helpful read.

Snoo-25862 · 2020-07-07T13:41:26+00:00

Dude honestly you keep posting different threads every second day, your insecurity reeks through my screen, the longer you think about this crap the longer it will linger.

The only self improvement you need is to block reddit (hell maybe limit online use all together), forget about women and read stoic philosophy

Stargazer1919 · 2020-07-07T14:36:42+00:00

If you think you're done self improving, you're not. It's a lifelong process. People who are doing self improvement are actually out there doing it, and not constantly talking about it/posting about it online.

It's a harsh reality to wake up to as a young person. The world doesn't owe you anything. Life isn't fair. And even if you are entitled to something, lots of times you're still SOL.

That being said... it would be fantastic if there were more resources out there for young guys to help themselves. New/improved therapy methods, support groups in person and online, something to do with job programs or career guidance.

Spread awareness about mental health in general! I know that seems like an "all lives matter" stance to take, but it really will help everyone including young guys.

EsioTrot17 · 2020-07-07T14:27:35+00:00

You could probably do with some of their advice.

Stop complaining and whining so much. Okay you may feel that you are dealt an unfair hand.. what you going to do about it?

bluehorserunning · 2020-07-07T20:25:50+00:00

This guy talks about what I wish all men knew: https://www.doctornerdlove.com/

Women are as different from person to person as men are, and this is a good thing because dating and marriage are partnerships and you need to find someone who fits your particular personality. And some personalities are harder to match than others. Average-intelligence, moderately attractive, affable people (about 65% of the population) will have a much easier time finding partners than people on the tails of any of those bell curves, because there are just more people who match them. If you're much smarter than average and want a smarter than average partner, your dating pool just got a lot smaller. If you want a partner who participates in some niche cultural activity (specific religions; gun ownership; gaming; whatever), your pool has gotten smaller still. There's a reason there's so much angst around finding partners: it's not easy for most people, and it's even harder for non-average people.

DarkestTimeline24 · 2020-07-07T16:12:32+00:00

what to do about men

Chloe1906 · 2020-07-07T19:34:16+00:00

The problem is that you’re thinking of women like a formula. If I do x and y then I should get z! But that’s now how women work. That’s not how anything in real life works. You need to focus on yourself. You need to improve yourself only for you and not expect anything in return from anyone else. There are plenty of people who did everything “right” and still got dealt a shitty hand in life. The proper response to this is not to develop a hateful world view that dehumanizes half the human population (who are facing similar problems as you). Instead you take on your problems despite everything and keep going. There is no sense in getting bitter.

Having said that, it is not clear that you actually are doing everything “right”. Blaming women for your lack of success in dating is certainly not the right view to have and indicates you may have some distorted views on other things as well.

Nienke_H · 2020-07-07T22:16:51+00:00

Dude, dating is much more about building connections than anything else. Being approachable, easy to talk to, emotionally and financially stable, those are all things that can give you a good first impression. It can help you get past the initial steps of meeting someone and sparking their interest. But if you want a relationship it's compatibility and chemistry that really counts. No one chooses their partner based on their financial success or hygiene levels. It just gets you past the preselection.

Inareskai · 2020-07-08T09:28:10+00:00

You're angry with society in general, I get that, I feel like that too sometimes - I think most people do!

But

Being raised by women doesn't mean it was 'feminist' and doesn't give you an special insight into women as a whole - it tells you about the women you specifically were raised with.
You talk about the narrative that 'only men are abusive' and every time people here say that we are not aware of this narrative. Does it change the fact that's the feeling you get from society? No. It sucks that there are people in your life who have pushed this narrative. But that doesn't mean it's true or that it applies to all of society.
You also talk about needing to be rich/buff etc to get women, and yet, every time you are here people point out that they began dating their partners when they were both financially unstable, or their partner never goes to the gym etc.

Every time you are here you are given information that says the world is not the way you think it is, some parts of it might be, the the wider world does always not function the way you complain it does.

At a certain point, what are you hoping to get here? You get the same responses every time, the same examples, and some new ones, that your points do not hold true for women or even necessarily society in general. You say you're looking for information - on what exactly?

I will repeat my first point - society has a LOT of flaws, it's ok to be angry at how society is. But in some cases all you need to do is look at different parts of society to see that the problem you're angry about isn't nearly as widespread as you think.

luridlurker · 2020-07-09T17:29:37+00:00

I guess I don't get the entitlement you seem to have. You have put effort into yourself and feel slighted because you're not dating? Or feel it's unfair that men who have bettered themselves are also not dating?

It seems self defeating to put effort into yourself for the sake of attracting others. Pursue things for you - to further who you are as a person - to accomplish things that bring you satisfaction. Expecting others to care about your improvement reads as pretty shallow to me.

defo18 · 2020-07-12T09:47:28+00:00

[deleted]

Krip_s · 2020-07-10T18:05:11+00:00

You're asking for a guideline and a role of what men should be like, right? At least that is what I get out of what you mean to ask. So I'm gonna give you my two cents on "where men should go..."

The problem here is that its not just women who oppress men, or men who oppress women. The problem is that both genders oppress each other equally, but in different contexts and aspects.

You know what my ideal view of a 21st century man is? Its about being equal to women in every aspect (other than the obvious biological differences with cis-women). Just become mentally equal and identical to women in every aspect. Basically I hope that the entire concept of both genders having separate role-models is removed in the first place. Both should follow the same role model and standard. Total and 100% egalitarianism. This would completely end any discrimination against men and women both. Because if both genders hold the same opinions on any matter, then both of them clearly have no logical way of oppressing the other

This basically kills the outer, more obvious patriarchy and the inner, more harder to detect "matriarchy" with a single stone.

So yeah, just strive to create a mindset in you where you are from a mental aspect, identical to the opposite gender in every thought process. If both men and women do this, it would solve discrimination overnight.

reggae-mems · 2020-07-17T04:10:47+00:00

r/menslib, or fds. Fds is a littles harsh, but underneath all the anger, it has some really good pointers on men behavior and how to better oneself... just dont take everythi g they say to the heart. But these two subs have helped me A LOT towards positive masqulinity and what women like or how to impress them.and finally, being single is good too. Its it can be fun and one should allways find happiness in having only ourselves for company, bc people come and go, but we stay with ourselves from they day we are born, to the one we die.

Title	If red pill is a no go. Where do you expect guys to go.
Author	defo18
Upvotes	22
Comments	80
Date	July 7, 2020 12:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/hmtrce/if_red_pill_is_a_no_go_where_do_you_expect_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/if-red-pill-is-a-no-go-where-do-you-expect-guys-to.705368 https://theredarchive.com/post/705368