Ain't no men attracted to the inner fit woman behind the blubber???

TerpsMakeMeDrink · 2020-08-04T17:22:56+00:00

TL;DR - I'm built like a Snorlax (only fatter) and Chad won't fuck me? What's wrong with him?

Jake-Orion · 2020-08-04T17:49:52+00:00

Women don't want fat guys so why can't the same standards be applied to women?

Oh right...

Patriarchy and sexist.

Mundane_Worldliness7 · 2020-08-04T18:42:00+00:00

Once again with fat chicks, much is left unsaid. For example, even fat women get approached, they just get approached by fat guys. So the question isn’t ‘Must I lose Weight to find Love’ it’s actually ‘I’m a 4 who wants to date 8s, is there any way I can get an 8 without putting out any effort?’ It’s remarkable that fat chicks want the right to judge the bodies of others whilst concurrently wanting their own bodies to be exempt from judgement.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-08-04T19:31:58+00:00

From the post. Emphasis mine.

I watch friends of mine find partners and I feel like they’ve been given access to a manual that will only be open to me if … well, if I lose weight. I’ve always been heavier than normal, but after maintaining in the 12–14 range for a long while, through all the teenage and twentysomething trips to Weight Watchers and ambient sucking-up of information that I don’t even want to read from the beauty-industrial complex, I have landed in that gray area where the top of “regular” sizing and the bottom of “plus” sizing overlap. I have spent most of my dating-age life hoping to ignore my corporeal self in the hopes that it’ll go away, somehow, or that my other characteristics — my wit! my compassion! my ability to throw a really good party! — will at least serve as mitigating factors. I haven’t even watched That Episode Of Louie because I feel like hearing the words in Sarah Baker’s monologue spoken aloud, instead of just in my head, will make me legit break down.

“I’ll lose the weight,” I think sometimes, “and that will make people less repelled by me.” But I have trouble exercising because my schedule is unpredictable and sometimes I need to be working for unbroken stretches to tackle big projects.

And in my darker moments (which often come after I screw up my regime in some way), I despair and think that I’ll never lose it because what’s the point. Friends suggest people I should date and I laugh it off because yeah, right, who would want to take a chance on me?

I would respectfully make the following observations:

1) If you want to date, mate, fuck or marry, you have to offer something that someone else wants. Period. End of discussion.

If you have nothing to offer, then you're out of the game. If no one wants what you offer, then you're out of the game. Or, if what you offer is overshadowed by the drawbacks and downsides you have, then you don't get to play the game. Period. End of discussion.

If you have nothing to offer, then you need to get something to offer. If no one wants what you offer, then you need to either get something to offer that someone wants, or find other men who want what you offer. If your flaws outweigh what you offer, fix your flaws and/or find ways to offer more. Period. End of discussion.

Let's get real here. Let's put an incel gamer who hasn't showered in a week in place of the fat girl. Or a geek Poindexter. Would those letters ever see the light of day? Of course not. Everyone would tell them to suck it. Because they have nothing to offer or no one wants what they do offer. They'd be told "change. Get better. Develop yourself so you offer something that someone actually wants". Because let's face it: Mr. InSmell Gamer has nothing to offer. Poindexter has nothing to offer. Or, no one wants what they offer.

It's just that simple.

So it is with the Fat Girl here.

For women, looks and physical appearance are paramount. They just are. You have to be physically attractive to someone out there. If you aren't, then you don't get to play the game. (Fortunately for most women, there are men out there who are into fat women. You name the body type, there's a contingent of men out there who are into it. Problem is, you have to accept one of them. But this is beside the point.)

The point is that the overweight letter writer here can't offer a man anything. Or, no one wants what she has to offer. Or, the drawbacks and flaws she has overshadow what little she does offer.

2) There are men who want what she has to offer. But she doesn't want any of those men. $100 right now says she's been approached by more than a few men, online and otherwise, but she rejected all of them out of hand because of their flaws. They're not as attractive as she wants. They don't look like George Clooney or Tom Hardy or whoever the Flavor of the Month is. They're not HAWT. They're overweight like she is. Or they're divorced or have kids or are paying alimony and child support. They're not as educated, they don't earn as much money. Whatever.

The point is, she turned away all sorts of men. There are men interested in her. It's just that she doesn't want any of them.

Gents: Every time, and I mean EVERY time, you see a woman lamenting WhErEaReAlLthEGoOdMeN, remember:

--she doesn't offer anything, or she doesn't offer enough, or her flaws and drawbacks overshadow and cancel out what she offers

--the men she wants don't want what she offers

--she has turned away and rejected other men who DID want what she offers

This is ALWAYS the case, without exception.

3) There's always an excuse why you can't improve. With obese people it's always "I don't have time to exercise or make lifestyle changes" or "Why change? It won't matter anyway" or "I shouldn't have to change; people should want and love me just the way I am".

First, you have time, and you know what you need to do. It's just that you don't want to take the time, and you don't want to do the work. Everyone knows what it takes to lose weight; most people don't do it because they don't want to do what's required. Because other things (like eating lots of tasty food and sitting on your ass watching TV) are more important to you. Because doing the work would be difficult and taxing and requires sacrifice and self deprivation.

Second: If you really think changing won't matter, OK. Then accept yourself and stop complaining.

Third: See (1)above and (4) below. If you want something from others, you have to offer something those people want. You are not entitled to anything from anyone else.

4) Men are not required to date you merely because you want a man to date you. No man is required to give you anything you want. You are not entitled to male attention, investment, commitment, time, money, labor, or resources, merely because you're a woman.

5) Men, not women, get to decide a woman's value. Men, not women, get to decide whether what a woman offers is valuable enough. Men, not women, get to decide whether a woman's flaws and drawbacks outweigh what she offers. Men, not women, are the sole decisionmakers of the cost/benefit analysis of a particular woman's offers and the risks she presents.

comptejete · 2020-08-04T18:29:02+00:00

The guy who won’t sleep with you because you’re overweight is not a far cry from the guy who will only sleep with you because you’ve got a hot body.

Yeah fuck those guys for having aesthetic preferences.

MentORPHEUS · 2020-08-04T18:06:43+00:00

IDK why fat women think that "toothy scowl" looks attractive or hot in any way. For some reason, plus size models, and the fat girl in an ensemble shot of models/actresses, often has this expression.

Maybe they think it looks sassy, or tigress-like. To me, it comes off more as, fat girl is hangry and is considering eating YOU.

malemedicine · 2020-08-04T16:56:19+00:00

Yes lose weight!

MikepGrey · 2020-08-04T18:50:13+00:00

Fit woman behind the blubber?

If your fat, your not fit, get in shape first then deal with your stretch marks, then accept your probably 40... so going to be a side dish for a lot of guys and that is as good as it gets.

Please tell other women not to follow your horrible example...

PlainTundra · 2020-08-04T18:56:46+00:00

"I want someone who loves me for who I am, for my feelings and who will not care about my body!"

hatefulreason · 2020-08-04T21:46:30+00:00

I was too chickenshit to make anything even resembling a move.

boo fucking hoo. i look decent when i want to and i'm still too shy to make a move, and i bear the consequences

Autisticus · 2020-08-04T19:24:41+00:00

Reading this article makes me see crabs in a bucket

mustangfrank · 2020-08-04T22:11:18+00:00

She: So don’t go on a crash diet just to find love. Don’t tell yourself that you’ll only deserve love once you starve yourself for a while. Even if you’re wildly successful at losing weight and then wildly successful at finding a man, you’ll still be at risk of wasting a decade dating men who have no interest in the real magic of you, beneath your rocking-hot ass.

Me: And then she woke up.

Machomuk89 · 2020-08-05T00:26:48+00:00

"Do I have to lose weight to find love? "

You do if you're unwilling to love an overweight man.

AngusBoomPants · 2020-08-05T03:32:07+00:00

Look Id like the girl I’m crushing on to ignore my fat gut and love me too but that’s not how the world works

frikabg · 2020-08-04T19:12:42+00:00

Ohhh honey if it was only a matter of you loosing weight... by the looks of it you will have to go for something way more extreme like fixing your shitty personality and growing a billion or two brain cells.

SalesAficionado · 2020-08-05T00:24:26+00:00

You can find love as a fat woman if you wanna date a whale fisherman.

Wtfbyamey · 2020-08-06T04:22:00+00:00

Arent girls attracted to inner rich guys behind the average paychecks?

cycloneous · 2020-08-04T20:48:50+00:00

The response good ol' Polly gave is a sleeper! But folks, I am here to analyze this profile so that you don't have to bore you asses to sleep, and to protect you from the dumb writer!

Analysis

I’ve always been heavier than normal, but after maintaining in the 12–14 range for a long while, through all the teenage and twentysomething trips to Weight Watchers and ambient sucking-up of information that I don’t even want to read from the beauty-industrial complex, I have landed in that gray area where the top of “regular” sizing and the bottom of “plus” sizing overlap.

She acknowledges the problem from earlier on in her youth but has refused to do anything about it. In other words, she is too f'ing lazy to do something about it.

She then rambles on about being regular size overlapping fat size. This lady is in denial, there is no such thing as overlap, your ass is either fat or skinny. Only in this case, this mentally thin soon to be cat lady has succumbed to the mental disease of feminism. I am pretty sure she has seen the commercial "Shoulding" and has embraced the illusion presented in the commercial!

Verdict

Avoid at all costs, completely in denial about her predicament that she acknowledges. Looking for Chad, Tyrone, Pookie and Ray Ray or Jamal but Chad, Tyrone, Pookie, and Ray Ray or Jamal is pumping and dumping people half her size, and in their prime.

Addendum

No one wants to bang a land whale, it is tough to find the wet spot.

1st10Amendments · 2020-08-05T00:47:52+00:00

Vibrant, alive aging, overweight experienced woman or young, nubile, sexy, energetic “hardbody” [Boortz expression for college-age thot]. Gosh, that’s a tough one. Let me sleep on it.

jmpires · 2020-08-05T08:46:01+00:00

This "Ask Polly" thing pops up from time to time, and to cut the BS short, by now her scope of questions should be limited to "Polly wants cracker?" and such.

PlainTundra · 2020-08-04T20:13:37+00:00

[removed]

Title	Ain't no men attracted to the inner fit woman behind the blubber???
Author	loneliness-inc
Upvotes	139
Comments	65
Date	August 4, 2020 4:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/i3my6e/aint_no_men_attracted_to_the_inner_fit_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/aint-no-men-attracted-to-the-inner-fit-woman.721646 https://theredarchive.com/post/721646

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