Girl I have been seeing is being cold, should I just let things fade away? I was way too available in the past and think she was turned off. She rather stay at home than see me.

LastStandBeforeOver · 2021-01-09T11:34:05+00:00

Yes. Yes.

+ give yourself space as well and date other girls to avoid pursuing her too much.

BubblePomelo · 2021-01-09T14:36:33+00:00

Yeah dude, ONEITIS is pretty clear.

Think about it. If you had other options, would you be so concerned over this one person and what you should do?

If she's interested, she'd reinitiate.

CompetitiveAd4912 · 2021-01-09T14:51:01+00:00

You're in oneitis, there is only one single cure to oneitis: Fuck Others Girls. Forget about her. If she comes back then that's fine. If not, go on with your life

trppr · 2021-01-09T20:16:41+00:00

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself.

She very well could have just hooked up with another guy while you were away, or had another one going the whole time.

Its normal for happy people who like each other to want to spend a lot of time together, especially at the beginning of a relationship (whatever kind of relation that is). Its unhealthy and not normal to lose attraction just because of availability. Its a red flag in and of itself of being fucked up. While that is common nowadays, that doesn't mean its normal or healthy.

Dodged a bullet here IMO.

bigdudecfc · 2021-01-09T11:44:59+00:00

My question is: should I give her space and let her do the chasing?

Yes

I have already asked her when she was free but she gave wishywashy answer and no definite answer.

Meaning no

She also claimed She was going to be busy the entire day today but just ended of sitting at her house watching Tv and relaxing

Stop stalking....

I just feel like she’s rather chill at home than spend time with me even though we’ve been talking daily for the previous week.

Why talk this much instead of meeting up....also you should have things to do

She recently went through a really rough breakup with an EX that stole her life savings

It is what it is

one drunken call to me after she went out she told me she was thinking about calling him,

Possible alpha widow

he regretted doing that

Says her.....

Do I need to give her space to be ready for another relationship?

Your attached,fair enough but the thing is that you've already over invested to the point of assuming this is an ltr.....no talk,no consistency,red flags....plate her fir now but move on to another

ClickKlakk · 2021-01-09T19:07:33+00:00

Let’s dive in

Girl I have been seeing is being cold, should I just let things fade away? I was way too available in the past and think she was turned off. She rather stay at home than see me.

Hello TRP-

Recently I have begun seeing a girl - we have gone in 7+ dates over a month

That’s a lot of seeing someone the first month to be honest. You’re maxing out over investment already.

and each one was very affectionate, fun, and both seemed to like to see each other. We’ve had sex, and she generally calls or messages me in the morning each day.

This is already reading like you’ve allowed this to become a 5 year LTR overnight. It’s stale and boring and predictable and juvenile sounding.

I had to leave town for a week to visit and during that week I can honestly say I screwed up bad and spent hours on the phone with her which likely lowered attraction significantly.

Why did you do this? You’ve been seeing her for four weeks. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s not your wife.

My issue is that now that I have gotten back she doesn’t seem to want to hang out with me.

It’s not that she doesn’t seem to want to, ITS THAT SHE DOESNT WANT TO.

The first night back she was going to dinner with her friends but I had told her I wanted to see her before she went.

Nope. Just shut the fuck up and match her level of investment. You’re showing a lack of abundance. Should have responded “k”.

She didn’t respond to my text until hours later when she said she has fallen asleep. I happened to be around the area where you was having dinner with her friends and she invited me to join them.

She thinks you’re a little bitch and she’s been talking shit about you to her friends. There are lots of reasons not to accept an invitation like that. I’m sure you learned your lesson here.

When I got there she was drunk and seemed very cold to me. After dinner she didn’t want to grab drinks or come over to my place and I could sense that something was very wrong.

It’s you.

She didn’t want to kiss nor talk so it what was bothering her.

YOU are bothering her.

I kept pressuring her to tell me what was wrong but she refused and I began to feel like I was being too pushy. I told her I was worried about her because of how different she was treating me.

God you are awful. Would you want to be around somebody like you?

We left on pretty bad terms

No shit.

and the next morning she called just to say good morning and ended the call when I asked her if I overreacted to her being cold to me the previous night.

Hahaha oh my god man. “Please let me in your frame....”

She texted me that I didn’t overreact and it was “her fault” but again did not elaborate.

She just wants you to not suck. It’s over though. She has realized she’s dealing with a child. She has nothing left for you but to feel bad for you.

My question is: should I give her space and let her do the chasing?

Yeah like two weeks ago.

I have already asked her when she was free but she gave wishywashy answer and no definite answer.

Soft next.

She also claimed She was going to be busy the entire day today but just ended of sitting at her house watching Tv and relaxing.

Soft next.

I just feel like she’s rather chill at home than spend time with me even though we’ve been talking daily for the previous week. She recently went through a really rough breakup with an EX that stole her life savings- and during one drunken call to me after she went out she told me she was thinking about calling him, and that he regretted doing that.

Dude end it. At least in your mind. She’s talking to you about this other dude, you’re not that dude.

Do I need to give her space to be ready for another relationship?

Stop doing shit for her. What are you going to do for you?

allahyardimciol · 2021-01-09T12:15:17+00:00

Writing so much text about a random girl? What are u, a pussy?

a6rp · 2021-01-09T11:37:46+00:00

Just chill and focus on your things because I bet You have something else to do.

You gave her option to hang out with You and she refused. Don't ask her 10 times if she wants to hang out. If she will want to do it she will let you know and then You decide if You are still up to this idea.

cowarrior1 · 2021-01-09T15:57:18+00:00

this is some bullsh*t. fu*k this man. let it go.

Tambamwham · 2021-01-09T21:38:46+00:00

Dude... her interest in another guy is driving her disinterest in you. That’s all this is about... nothing to do with you. You should have just treated her like a buddy and flirted with her friends and not bothered by asking her to hang out after.

ironrape12 · 2021-01-09T22:40:20+00:00

Idk I think you should have just enjoyed dinner and let her emotions run their course.

If you had other sides, you wouldn’t be so worried about who to have sex with after dinner.

Since you didn’t, you got insecure and starting prying for a reason so that you could correct it, but that’s not how women work. She will just continue the same habits until you either learn or get frustrated.

Next time, just memorize her actions, stay quiet and start making a plan to better yourself.

Your actions speak volumes more than your words ever will.

Black_Jesup · 2021-01-09T23:21:36+00:00

Dude, leave her alone. I feel smothered and I’m not even your plate.

MrNeurotypical · 2021-01-10T00:25:38+00:00

Sounds like she's trying to find the right time and place to break it off, to be honest. Like when she catches you in a good mood. She also sounds like she drinks too much and makes bad choices. Personally, I'd end it. Better women are out there. She's damaged goods.

comcain · 2021-01-10T03:18:58+00:00

Take the EXIT ramp here. Date other girls. This one is defective. Return her to the streets.

jrr6415sun · 2021-01-10T04:44:07+00:00

she doesn’t seem to want to hang out with me.

there's another guy guaranteed

I kept pressuring her to tell me what was wrong but she refused

nothing will turn a girl off more than that

you are being way too needy, chill out a little

luguxd · 2021-01-10T05:56:32+00:00

I went through a similar situation before. She ended things, some months passed and she tried to date me again.

Keep us updated.

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