Girl In My Friend Group Keeps Talking About Threesome w/ Her Fiance and I Don't Think Its A Smart Idea

Red-Curious · 2017-07-27T18:33:48+00:00

Practicing divorce law, my perception may be a little skewed, but my experience observing other couples says that open marriages or inviting threesomes will pretty much always result in a divorce. Why?

It subliminally (if not consciously) communicates to your partner that one-on-one sex with him/her isn't satisfying. So, what happens when options for threesomes aren't available? The subliminal message is that neither of you will be happy with your sex life.
Feelings of jealousy always fester, as it's impossible to balance attention perfectly.
The Comparison Game in FFM situations and hypergamy in FMM situations will totally screw with the girl's mind.
You're essentially opening the door to your partner having an affair, testing the waters with someone new, with your approval.
You desensitize your partner to the idea of having sex with other people so that cheating seems more of an expectation than a thing to be avoided.

Tons more ... out of time.

melonmagellan · 2017-07-29T20:54:24+00:00

If they aren't "keeping it alive" at four months than she needs to examine her situation.

[deleted] · 2017-07-28T03:17:43+00:00

The quickest road to disaster. Feelings always get hurt regardless of the dynamic. Great way to sabotage a future marriage. They both need counseling to see if marriage is what they really want. Sex with other people only tears things down. He shouldn't be experimenting with the love of his life, goes for her too.

Say, I know people who have had experiences and here is what they say....

plein_old · 2017-07-27T19:41:38+00:00

The reason why I want to tell her

Sometimes we have to let people make their own choices, even if we feel quite certain they are making a mistake.

Otherwise, we're not only interfering in someone else's life, and keeping them from learning from their own choices, but we might also incur their wrath if we give our opinion where it's not asked for. :)

BH40 · 2017-07-27T18:08:38+00:00

You are not frigid. You have a sensical view of it. If they are happily rolling along in a relationship, why jam a stick into the spokes? Saying "why risk your happy relationship?" is not going too far. However, keeping your opinion to yourself until asked is wise also.

If it was my "best friend" I would say something and slap him until he gets it , but then again, I'm a guy. I am rarely tender in a situation like this. I could tell him he's a dumb fuck for even considering it and he wouldn't get or stay mad.

But, as you are well aware, women are different.

pinkdrawings · 2017-07-29T00:34:56+00:00

I would just stay out of this one. Shes allowed to make her own choices.

iheartfrodo_69 · 2017-07-27T22:57:54+00:00

Gross. That does not bode well for the relationship! I wouldn't be a part of it.

iwasawasp · 2017-07-27T17:21:50+00:00

I agree that there is disaster potential here, although like u/SirKolbath said the threesome is not necessarily a bad thing. I actually just visited Cuba and they are very sexually open there, particularly in regards to group sex. This could be something your friend has always been interested in and now has a safe space in which to explore it. Rather than telling this person (whom it seems you are still getting to know) directly that you think it is a bad idea, consider showing genuine interest as to her motives. Ask her questions about it - in context - to make sure that she is in the right headspace. If you flat out disapprove, and then something goes wrong for her, she may be less likely to turn to you for fear of an "I told you so."

SirKolbath · 2017-07-27T16:55:56+00:00

John Stossel did a very well-researched investigative report about open marriages that said they are more likely to last because individuals involved in open relationships do not lie to one another and are more straightforward with their feelings.

I would be more concerned about the fact that this woman got engaged to somebody she knew for four months then about the fact that she is considering a threesome. It is not impossible that a relationship of that short-duration could be lasting and permanent, just like it is not impossible that a threesome could make a relationship stronger.

But there is a lot to be concerned about in this woman's potential future.

nawinter77 · 2017-07-27T23:27:02+00:00

To the point: "Friend, I don't think a threesome is a good idea, but it's really none of my business. That said, I don't know how comfortable I am with how often you bring this up to me. I am not a potential partner for casual sexcapades with your new fiance."

If she's brought it up more than three times to you, she's sounding out whether or not you're interested in being a third.

Wissenschaft85 · 2017-07-29T00:32:21+00:00

Don't feel bad about coming off as "frigid". If standing up for the principles you believe in will lose respect from these "friends" then you need better friends.

Part of the joy people get from sex is the satisfaction of pleasing your partner. Implying that your partner is not enough to satisfy you is a great way to destroy intimacy in your relationship. People tend to only realize this after the fact, when its too late.

The men on redpill who do maintain polygamist or open relationships are the first to say its a hell of a lot harder to manage than a normal relationships because jealousy always pops up.

This is not to say open relationships can't work or last but rather it requires a level of maturity, self-awareness of ones own desires, and complete honesty that most people simply don't have. If you got any type of insecurities, jealous will bring it out in a nasty way.

insensitiveTwot · 2017-07-30T17:46:52+00:00

So y'all don't have a problem with them being engaged after only 4 months but a three some is gonna ruin their relationship? There were a few things pointed out that I'd agree with (to a degree) 1. Yes, it could lead to jealousy 2. Opens the door for partners to sleep with other people. BUT what if she likes both girls and boys and wants to share an experience with her partner? What if they talk about it first and agree that doing it together does not in any way make it ok for it to happen outside of the relationship? That kinda invalidates the second point. If it makes you uncomfortable that's one thing you're allowed to be uncomfortable ance disagree with someone's choices but I think it's a little... presumptuous to feel like you need to tell this person, that you don't really know all that well, what is and isn't good for their relationship

emote__control · 2017-08-09T11:12:49+00:00

Keep your counsel, unless directly asked for you opinion.

Title	Girl In My Friend Group Keeps Talking About Threesome w/ Her Fiance and I Don't Think Its A Smart Idea
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	20
Comments	40
Date	July 27, 2017 4:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6px6m1/girl_in_my_friend_group_keeps_talking_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/girl-in-my-friend-group-keeps-talking-about.73187 https://theredarchive.com/post/73187

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